bad lil mama

Ginger looks good in black

2010-01-08T16:36:00.000-08:00

So, Ginger was 4 months old on December 26th. She has become an even more entertaining/awesome creature than the 3 month old Ginger was.

--Two nights ago she grabbed her foot and sucked on it.

--She grabs her favorite toys (Thanks Auntie Tami and Nonna in Ohio!) with great intent and jams them in her mouth.

--Over the holidays she happily rolled over, both ways.

--She has a new noise that she yells whenever she sees Spider. And she's not so much kicking Spider now and making brave attempts at petting him.

--She likes to grab on to my clothes while nursing. Grab. Yank. Snap (as she lets go). If clothes are not available, the skin on my chest seems to be a find substitute. So lately, when she nurses, we do this funny hand dance of me trying to keep her razor sharp claws away from my skin, and she kicking her feet, wiggling her torso and windmilling her top arm. It seems to tire me out more than it does Ginger.

--We realize she is far from the delicate flower we thought she was. Ross cuts her nails when she is wide awake. He recently pointed out that he is stronger than she is, and if he wants to cut her nails, well, that's what he's gonna do.

--All her baby socks are too small (I mean the infant socks, her heel sticks out far beyond the totally useless tread or word like "little cutie" or "angel" that adorn the bottoms of the 0 to 3 month socks.

--She's wearing mostly 6 month clothes (Thanks Aunties Vanessa and Mary and GV!) with leg warmers, of course, and a few pair of bigger, longer socks.

--She wakes up in her crib in the morning and entertains herself for at least 15 minutes by chortling and cooing and giggling at the animals on her mobile (Thanks Mike and Carly and darling Charlotte!). After 15 minutes to 30 minutes her squawks get louder and louder until she's screaming to be picked up already, the mobile is immobile and therefore boring and the stuffed animals have nothing more to say.

--In the middle of the night she often scoots herself sideways in her crib, or kicks up enough to get a food stuck in the rails. Being sideways and stuck she doesn't seem to like (I wonder why?) but just being stuck seems to hold her interest for another 10 minutes.

Like the AMAZING black socks with bones on them. (Thanks Deanna! These are our new favorites!)

Also, as you can tell, Ginger looks good in black.

(Awesome boombox onesie from Natalie!)

Late December update

2010-01-08T16:33:00.001-08:00

Ginger will be four months old this Saturday.

We're getting ready to drive to Southern California for a few days with the Loy clan. And we know it will be a very different trip from the last one.

In late September, we four (Ross, Ginger, Spider and I) drove to So.Cal for my sister's marriage celebration. It was a very long and strange drive. We wanted to drive when she was asleep, but after Bay Area traffic. We tried to leave at 7. We made it to the highway at 9.

The first time Ginger woke up I was driving. She cried. I floored it until we got to the next offramp and kept flooring it until Ross not-so-calmly told me to slow down for the light.

She screamed. We stopped. I fed her. We bought fast food. Spider Peed. Ross peed.

This must have happened again because we didn't arrive in Ojai until 3am. I was wired on crappy coffee. With the help of a beer, I slept sometime after 4am.

This time, we're getting up, getting things done and getting going. On the highway before 3pm, or else.

And this time the drive should be different.

Ginger is still not a huge fan of a pacifier, and she'll suck on one of our fingers if she has to, but she's become quite the self-soother. Her hands, her clothes, the blanket we give her, the toy she grabs, all end up in her mouth. Also, this week she likes to suck on her bottom lip.

Other month four/this week updates include:
--Spider is fascinating to her. She watches his every move, squawks at him, and she she can, hits and kicks him.

--She hits and kicks whatever she can get her tiny parts to. She does things now just to see how she is affecting the world around her.

--Call and response, but LOUD. She demands we mimic her and she changes the tones and volume of her squawking. I'm sure she thinks we're having quite a conversation.

--She is mobile. Mostly into scooting on her back by kicking her legs.

--She sucks in air to laugh/giggle/chortle.

How many hooded towels and washcloths can I possibly need?

2009-12-14T18:13:00.000-08:00

My little sister Mary is pregnant and due in January. Being a good big sister, I love giving her advice. Especially when she asks for it!

Mary recently called me to ask: "How many wash cloths and hooded towels do I really need?"

Regarding hooded towels
My response: Four hooded towels are more than enough! Two are plenty.

Here's my thinking. They are adorable, and you might as well make bath time adorable with the cute animal and colors and designs on the thin towel/blanket/hoodies that folks love to get for baby.

But you prob'ly wont always use them.

An example from my personal experience
I am in the tub bathing. I call to Ross: "OK, clean her butt and bring her in," as I'm running cold water into the tub AND soaping up a brightly colored washcloth that I grabbed BEFORE I went into the bathroom.

Ross comes in with a naked, and wide-eyed Ginger.

And a towel.

Yes, it's a clean, brightly colored towel. But it's NOT a hooded towel (which I store in a basket on top of the baby clothes etc. bin/shelf/baskets.) It's also not one of the yellow and white striped, ducky beach towels that Ross's dad and step mom sent us (which came with matching, bright yellow wash cloths. Ross has taken to using the beach towels, which I keep meaning to discourage... but maybe Ginger is OK with sharing already? She IS advanced for her age, after all.)

Now, if I had grabbed a yellow, ducky washcloth and had it soaped up, I would have turned him around and demanded that he return with a yellow and white striped, ducky beach towel.

But I had not.

"Wait, no. You have to get one of the hooded towels."

While holding the now squirming, still naked baby, and wondering just when she's going to pee on him (she pees on him much more than on me, by the way), Daddy Ross needs to be reminded about where the special towels are stored, etc.

The bath is now below the desired "lukewarm" temperature. My freshly shaved legs are covered in goosebumps. I try not to suggest that he hurry it up already.

He comes back with the least cute hooded towel. It says "got milk?" I make a note to donate it to someone who will appreciate it's utilitarian value so that we can focus on using the fish and duck and polka dots -- which are far superior because they are far cuter. (Yes, this is how my brain works when I am sitting in a bath tub full of cooler and cooler water.)

We bathe her. She either smiles or squawks depending on her mood. We wrap her up, likely take photos. We laugh about the hood hiding her face. She squawks some more.

We are only bathing Ginger, for reals about once a week. We do not need more than two hooded towels. Any more than that and Ross is confused and I approach being frustrated. Will I pass on the ones I think are cute? Nope! Silly? YES! The new norm? For a few more weeks at least, yes!

Regarding washcloths
I have a whole bin of brightly colored washcloths. Some match towels for baby. Many are in the pink family (which I love) and lately we only have 10 or less in the laundry at a time.

How we use our cloths

--meconium: for that special three-to-five day period of sticky poop, we used a cut up old towel to clean Ginger's butt. We simply threw away the stained and sticky pieces of cloth.
--bathing
--burp cloths. Ginger doesn't spit up very much. Much less than once a day. So we don't need a ton of these.
--diaper changing time. We alternate between home made wipes, wet paper towels, wet organic diapers and washcloths. It depends on the temperature, who is changing her, what is handy, the state of Ginger's butt and the mood of the diaper changer.

Folks should know, that right now we do laundry at least once a week, closer to once every five days, because we can. I expect to spread out laundry days (and need more stuff, not to worry we have more stuff)

I told Mary 20 washcloths are PLENTY.

What she's up to now

2009-11-30T14:18:00.001-08:00

Holy crap! Ginger Crash Kennedy Loy is 3 months old!

On Aug 26th she came screaming on out of me. And on November 26th she squawked and boob-fed and napped, but not much, through her first Thanksgiving.

Like any advanced, totally adorable, ridiculously long 3-month-old girl, Ginger is:

--Talkative. She's got the coos down. And she has a new noise just about every day. If I leave her happily hanging out somewhere to, say, clean a diaper in the sink, make a cup of coffee, brush my teeth, or use two hands for anything, she lets me know she's DONE by squawking louder and louder and I swear it sounds like "DADDY." Now, we all know that she is NOT saying DADDY. But how rad (for me) would it be if her first demanding scream was for Ross?! 'Cause I'm off to school in January...

-- Grabbing things. More and more she means to. Sometime she is surprised by what she has in her hand. Sometimes she whacks herself on the head. Sometimes she focusses on something and aims and and and grabs it.

-- Turning over, kinda. She rolls from her back to her side and from her side in either direction. She is sometimes surprised by landing on her back. But quickly recovers and pretends that she TOTALLY meant to.

-- Squawking louder and louder, generally to herself. In the past few days, when we put her in the crib (small, European style, in our bedroom) in the morning so we two adults can be in bed a bit longer, she squawks loudly to the mobile jerking and wobbling above her head. (The mobile is on loan. I think we already broke it, hence the wonky movements.) She will squawk louder and louder until we realize she is saying she is done already. This is not a "DADDY" squawk. This is a more general gleeful shout out to the universe. Until it's a "hey you guys I'm done, really" noise.

-- Chewing on her hand/s. She does this for comfort. Out of boredom and to express glee!

-- Flirting. She'll look ya in the eye, smile and turn her head inward toward my chest and away. But she is not avoiding you, oh no! She is simply getting ready to look at you again.

-- Noticing her feet. With or without socks. This is fascinating. Especially if one foot has a sock on it and one does not. Ginger will slowly lift the right foot, gaze at it with a slightly furrowed brow. Lower it. Raise the left foot, gaze. And repeat. Then both feet are up. This can last (which she's in her bouncy chair and I am, maybe bathing with her in the bathroom) for as long as 5 minutes.

-- Kicking her feet which being changed. And smiling. Raising up her feet while being changed and smiling. Kicking her feet and kicking off her socks. Pretty much always.

In developmental terms, she's right on track with head and neck, back and arm strength. Likewise with verbal and eye tracking markers. But she's totally cuter than most babies!

More, more, more advice from moms and dads

2009-11-19T19:32:00.000-08:00

Apparently, people are reading this blog. This is a good thing (mostly for my ego, but maybe for entertainment and/or educational value. Maybe.)

As well, people post things in response to my posting things about my blog on Facebook. I shall now attempt combine a few tips below (some of mine are here, and a friend's amazing post about "stuff" you need for baby is here), for you's all to see.

Natasha had this to say:
"I am doing cloth diapers too! And I made my own wipes.. We borrowed everything from the swing to the crib. Btw have you tried bum genius 3.0 AIOs? They are my fave but still like prefolds when home."
That's the All In One diaper for those of you less-schooled in the world of cloth diapers than I (I Googled it. Now I know). Yes, I am using these very items! Er, or Ginger is.

Geoff said:
"One word. Costco."

I said: "What am I missing?" For I no longer have a Costco membership.

Dianna filled me in:
"Costco has a bunch of baby stuff, diapers, formula, wipes, motrin, cought supressent. Clothes are cheap to buy there. Toys, books,v juice.If you have not tried the Crisco, you can buy it there. It sounds nuts but it is the best diaper ointment ever. Ginger will never have diaper rash and you will not go broke!!!! Those are some of the things at Costco. Sometimes you can find baby blankets there."

I have to admit I'm steering clear of the Crisco thing. I do have Coconut Oil that I used for sore nipples (worked!) and would be happy to spread it all over Ginger's nether regions. But any redness she gets has gone away quickly.

I do have a tiny tube of Desitin that I've used a few times. Not exactly natural, but it sure does the job. More recently a friend gave us Bum Bum Balm. We use this as well. Ginger's butt seems to love it.

Kate, mom of Ivy, has found the time (and the use of two hands, it looks like) to share some advice and observations inspired by her four-month old role a mommy. The highlights include but are not limited to:

--the importance of nipple pads
--leaking and spraying breasts (refer to above)
--the importance of a supportive partner
--how you wanna be friends with new parents you'd be friends with anyway, 'cause you can only talk about diapers and nipple pads (BOOBS!) for so long before real life comes screaming back in
--the impossibility of organizing a new-mommy mind
--tips how to organize the new mommy mind (think to-do lists and fancy phones)

Kate's blog is called Experimental Soup Making. It's pretty awesome. Go there.

But come back here sometime soon.

Ginger is due to make a bigger appearance here soon.

My take on a frugal mom's advice

2009-11-17T13:00:00.001-08:00

Go Cloth!
By going with cloth, a family can save thousands of dollars over the un-potty trained year(sss). There's an investment upfront, and you have get into the groove of cleaning diapers regularly (before the new human poop turns into real human poop with the introduction of not-breast milk foods) but it pays off! Also, nice to the environment.

Ross's take: "Screw the environment." Or maybe it was "The environment can wait." Yeah, that was it.
My take: I have been both practical and self-indulgent about the whole diaper deal. I have been obsessed. I have emailed and texted friends (well, mostly Kate) about what kind if cloth insert diapers they are using, I have bought newish and used diapers from new mama friends and strangers on craigslist. Truly, diapering deserves it's own post (there are entire web communities dedicated to cloth diapers, or so I'm told). I'll try to keep this brief

Week 1 to 2: We used Pampers Swaddlers. I thought I'd have a tiny baby, I had heard these were tiny, virtually leak proof. I bought some. I ended up with twice the amount I thought I would because Ginger arrived at hospital and I ransacked the room's contents (I figured I'd be charged for everything in the room, so why not? And I was: board for one night = about $6,000!)

Starting week 2 and now occasionally: Nature's Babycare. They are damn near 100% biodegradable, no icky plastics on Ginger's skin, they are good stuff, really! etc. They only leak after Ginger has pooped for about an hour (really, she does this at 6 am, daily. It's noisy and cute. I'm sure it will be gross someday, but not yet.) Of course, I was informed by well-meaning moms that although they are mostly biodegradable, I am not yet paying for the service that takes them away and decomposes them for me (and I doubt I ever will). Ross prefers them over our other options: it's remove, wipe, drop in our borrowed Diaper Genie and occasionally take out the trash!

But Nature's Babycare diapers are not cheap: $11.99 for 30 to 40, depending on the size -- and that's ordering from Diapers.com which is much cheaper than buying them at a fancy, organic super market.

G-diapers suck, I think. OK, that's not fair. But they didn't work for me.

And now I'm using a mix of Bum Genius, FuzziBunz and pre-folds -- one's that friggin' snap closed. (There are way too many cloth options for me to be an expert. Check out this site for a sense of what is out there.) I need to do diaper-related laundry every three days. But considering that everything Ginger wears and much of what I wear need cleaning immediately, well, yes, I hardly notice the extra load.

And I experience a strange sense of pride every darn time I Velcro or snap Ginger into a cloth or cloth insert diaper. Yup, I do.

Do your own wipes!
Buy some shop rags or used diapers. Again, the savings adds up, and you won't notice the extra laundry.
Awesome idea.

Ross prefers paper towels, wet under the faucet. Biggest problem with this (to me) is that as the weather gets colder, the faucet runs longer. I can't handle the guilt of washing diapers AND running water 'til it's hot.

I prefer a make-my-own wipe recipe, but mostly I use cut-up towels and old washcloths. I don't run the water nearly as long as Ross does. I want Ginger, and her tush, to be tough!

Buy used baby and kid clothes
Leave the fancy new duds to family and friends. Your newbie will grow out of things faster than you can use them. So it makes sense that even already-worn stuff at kids boutiques will be very gentle used.
I have to admit that I did infact buy one pair of new brown pants. But everything else (and there is a lot, plus two large bins of stuff that is too big for Ginger) was gifted or thrifted.

Dress up your lil' one for fancy occasions -- but not for everyday life!
Babies and kids can be grungy and comfortable at home. Clothing can be worn multiple times in a week. But if you and yours are heading out to brunch or want to otherwise show off, break out the fancy party dress/pants that Auntie X FedExed.
So far, we could dress Ginger in two or three adorable onsies a day and not run out. I don't put her in the frilly dresses and such unless we're gonna be surrounded by at least a handful of ladies who can properly "oh" and "aw" about it.

Get a car seat she can grow into
Don't fall for the gimmick of needing a new car seat every time the kid grows. There are safe and legal seats that last for more than a few months. Do your research ahead of time and save money.
We scored a free infant car seat. Yes, it was used. No, I wasn't worried that a friend of a friend had given an unsafe car seat to a new-mom friend. Frankly, I think a lot of the "oh, no, you need this new! To be safe!" campaigns are put out into the new parent ethers to ensure maximum consumption of new items.

Of course, because it was a car seat for a tiny new person, and Ginger is by far not a tiny person, although relatively new, it's already time to move up to another (hand-me-down) car seat.

Be practical when it comes to your stroller
You don't need three different strollers. You need one.
We have four.

I'm not sure how this happened.

We started off with what was a fancy, light weight stroller four years ago (thanks Tracy and Goran!). My mom gave us a simple umbrella style stroller (it's what we four Loys grew up in). Nicole left her umbrella stroller here (that I should sell or donate) and now we get to absorb Nicole and Piper's buggy!

I have a feeling we'll have two strollers again soon. Umbrella for simplicity and buggy for long walks to the Farmer's Market!

OK. Then. What are your frugal new parent tips???

Some advice from a frugal mom

2009-11-16T22:42:00.000-08:00

An old friend who's child is in his mid-to-late teens sent me some awesome advice via Facebook. Being a new mom, doing her best to appear (to herself at least) productive, I quickly thanked her for it, asked permission to post it here -- and immediately deleted it.

I not only deleted the message. I deleted the whole thread.

So did she.

Now I will do my best to duplicate it.

Go Cloth!
By going with cloth, a family can save thousands of dollars over the un-potty trained year(sss). There's an investment upfront, and you have get into the gro0ve of cleaning diapers regularly (before the new human poop turns into real human poop with the introduction of non-breast milk foods) but it pays off! Also, nice to the environment.

Do your own wipes!
Buy some shop rags or used diapers. Again, the savings adds up, and you won't notice the extra laundry.

Buy used baby and kid clothes
Leave the fancy new duds to family and friends. Your newbie will grow out of things faster than you can use them. So it makes sense that even already-worn stuff at kids boutiques will be very gentle used.

Dress up your lil' one for fancy occasions -- but not for everyday life!
Babies and kids can be grungy and comfortable at home. Clothing can be worn multiple times in a week. But if you and yours are heading out to brunch or want to otherwise show off, break out the fancy party dress/pants that Auntie X FedExed.

Get a car seat she can grow into
Don't fall for the gimmick of needing a new car seat every time the kid grows. There are safe and legal seats that last for more than a few months. Do your research ahead of time and save money.

Be practical when it comes to your stroller
You don't need three different strollers. You need one.

Thanks, Sarah!

This just in!

2009-11-11T21:24:00.001-08:00

And in local news, Ginger has finally has been featured by the local media. (Yes, that's her asleep on Ross's shoulder. She was wearing her Issues magazine store t-shirt!)

New to me Oakland Local ran a great piece about a panel discussion at Berkeley's Moe's bookstore.

We three humans attended. Kaya Oakes, author of Slanted and Enchanted: The Evolution of Indie Culture was leading a discussion about "indie." The three-woman panel was stacked with friends/colleagues. I'll steal directly from the article here:

Noella Teele, Issues: “When you’re doing something indie-minded of indie spirit, it’s something you feel really true about. It’s what you feel sincere about and something that you do well. I often think of the punk ethos, that if you’re going to do something, do it right. Do it all the way.”

Liz Lisle, Watchword Press: “It’s when you’re not looking for recognition from an external source. You’re just doing it because you love it. You’re working with your friend and that’s the motivation that keeps it going.”

Nicole Neditch, Objet d’Art: “It’s doing something from the heart and taking it all the way. The recognition comes from the people that you’re working with. You’re not going with the traditional box stores. You’re shopping from people who are also doing it from the heart, and making a decision to work with those kinds of people.”

Kaya Oakes, Slanted and Enchanted: The Evolution of Indie Culture (excerpt): “If we understand culture to mean something more than a style of music, a visual aesthetic, or a literary mode and try to define it from its Latin root, cultura—‘to cultivate’— then we can see how indie artists have traditionally worked together to cultivate many things: credibility, freedom, the ability to promote their own work and to control how it’s promoted, self-reliance, open-mindedness, and the freedom to take creative risks.”

In case you were wondering, yes my body is ready for another one

2009-11-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

Back in week six or so after Ginger's birth, I noticed that something more than spotting was darkening my, um, door. (After a vaginal birth women "bleed" heavily and then spot for weeks if not months. There's a whole range of amounts and colors and in what order, etc. You can learn more here.)

Yeah, this was less like spotting and more like, wait, what were they called, um, something about a towel? Oh, no, I remember now. It was my period. I was on the freakin' rag!

See, but, as a breast feeding mama, I should not have had a period for months, if not a year or so. But there it was, a nice, healthy flow. Not too different that the predictable periods I have had since my late teens (early teenage periods were not so predictable. Nor were they nice.) And yes, I did remember what to expect, even though it had been nearly a year since my last one (We conceived after a period in November, peed on a stick in December. That was 2008!) and it came and went with me hoping that I would be one of those breast feeding mamas who get one soon after a birth but then don't see more evidence of a reinstated menstrual cycle for many a moon.

Not so for me.

Just said goodbye to Auntie. She stuck around for her usual length of stay. Had no cramping, no mood swings, nothing out of the ordinary. Didn't even have to buy a new box tampons this time.

The downside: REALLY have to lock down birth control that is baby safe and baby proof. Also, I'll be buying tampons, or maybe those weird cloth pads that my hippie friends use, I mean they can't be any harder to deal with than breast pads and cloth diapers!

The upside: Thanks to the whole getting pregnant/having a child/breast feeding thing, I have boobs all month long! Not just for a few days a month, like B.G (Before Ginger.)

In other news: Ginger melted down in the car today after a wonderful hike with Spider, Ross and myself on which we busted out the awesome Ergo Baby Carrier that my equally awesome sister gave us. So that part was great!

But, being in a small, enclosed space (like my car) with a nearly three month old who is totally not going to be calmed by anything (no me, not my finger, not the pacifier, not a bumpy road, not car lights, not freeway driving) was not at all is not easy.

Ross did a great job driving us home. I did a great job of not jumping out of a moving vehicle.

Good thing she's such a cutie!

Vaccines: and then again maybe we will

2009-11-02T19:48:00.000-08:00

Well, we did it. We three humans went to the doctor for Ginger's first ever vaccinations.

First, you should know that there are a few family practice doctors left in the country. And one of them is Doctor Jane Himmelvo. She's a mom. She's right here in Point Richmond (OK, so we don't actually live in Point Richmond. We live in the blue collar, affordable, much more diverse and occasionally filled with Mexican accordion music option called Atchison Village. Home of a few of the original Rosie the Riverters for whom the housing here was built.)

The Point Richmond Family Practice has regular office hours, the good Doctor has been Ross's doc since we decided to admit he has inherited dangerously high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. His liver, shockingly, is not too bad. We'll work on that next.

She became Ginger's pediatrician two days after her birth. No, we absolutely didn't need to go to a doctor's office that soon after her birth, but because she was delivered in the hospital and we wanted to get back to our home birth and laying in plan, we made a deal with the hospital Ped. to take her in.

We got to leave seven hours after we said we were ready IF we promised to take Ginger in to her Ped within a few days.

Why the deal? Well: Hospitals want a new mom and baby to stay for at least 24 hours. This allows them to monitor a number of things, including baby's temp, mom's everything, breast feeding and baby's diapers, etc. The "scariest" thing they monitor is the heart murmur that pretty much all babies are born with.

About the murmur: While living in the comfort of mom's placenta, blood is not pumped to the lungs to get oxygenated — things obviously have to adjust in that part of a newborn's body, 'cause she's BREATHING. A duct can remain open and usually closes by the end of 24 to 48 hours. Hospitals can pull this one out to make you stay. The longer you stay, the more they can be sure to catch anything early on, and the less likely they are gonna get sued if they release a baby or mom "early" and complications develop.

Of course, our midwives were providing us with the excellent care that we had come to expect from them, so Ginger received pretty much the same first well baby exam three times in as many days.

Surprise, she was determined to be 100 percent healthy. Three times.

Back to the now: Dr. Jane (Himmelvo) knows who we are. Calls Ginger by name. And checks in on Ross when we see her. Today was no exception.

We had a 5:30 appointment (childhood vaccines are scheduled late in the day so kids can just go home and maybe get super tired, cranky or feverish.)

Ginger was asleep when we arrived. Once we had her mostly stripped down (to weigh in at 12.5 lbs) she woke up and got all smiley when we had her on the table. I made sure to place her on her blanket and not the loud, crunchy paper that she'd otherwise soon associate with pain/needles. (I've heard stories from parents of 1 year olds who report that baby starts to cry as soon as the paper is rustled.)

Ginger let us weigh her (after they realized the scale was out of batteries and 10 minutes later found the a.c. adapter), measure her skull and her length (22.75 inches baby. She was 21.4 at birth.)

And she took the oral vaccine (Rotovirus) slowly and pensively. She and I talked some baby talk while she tasted it and gummed the applicator, pushed the vaccine out of her mouth and down her chin while I chased it with my finger and pushed it back in her mouth.

The (DtaP: Diphtheria immunization, Tetanus immunization, Pertussis immunization, Tdap vaccine)
shot, well, she screamed a bit, with her face VERY QUICKLY turning bright red with an infant's confusion and anger. And by the time I had picked her back up off the table (as the nurse was trying to wipe off the two drops of blood and affix the bandage) she was quieting down. She didn't need the boob. She did need to be held. But she was cheerful and once again checking out the lights and other new visual pleasures that only a baby can find in a doctor's exam room.

In short, Ginger is a trooper.

Also in short: yes, (obviously) we decided to get her vaccinated. We are doing the trendy, spaced out, alternative plan. For now, we're going with Dr. Sear's Alternative Vaccination Schedule. You can read more about the schedule here, on a mom's website. She's done some research, reports it and lists the schedule.

Vaccinations = lots of conflicting research.

FYI: I don't believe that vaccines cause autism, but I do marvel at the fact that mercury is present in many of them. Yes, mercury. Which is bad, 'cause, um, it causes neurotoxicity in humans.

Small amounts are present as a preservative, I heard on NPR. Also on NPR, the H1N1 contains less mercury than in a can of tuna. Yeah, but, Ginger is not gonna eat a can of tuna anytime soon. She's also too young for that particular vaccine.

Also, spreading out the vaccines seems like a damn good idea. I know I want her to benefit from the advances in medicine. But I also know that Big Pharm plays a big part in determining just how many vaccines are available and how many we "need."

In short: vaccinations = whole other posts.

Photos are of wonderful friends. Love you long time Debbie-Deborah! Also, Art is one handsome experienced daddy type!

Sexy dreams and the benefits of oral sex during pregnancy, (tmi ahead, duh!)

2009-10-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

Below is my favorite email of late.

It comes from a friend who is pregnant. But she shall remain nameless. Because we won't want anyone to know she is orgasming in her sleep! I mean, what would the neighbors think?

Also, what kind of pervert searches for things like "oral sex" or "sperm" while pregnant?

I'll tell you: MY kind of pervert!

Here's the email:
"Because I can ask you things like this, but I am not as bold as you with putting up things on my blog when my grandma is reading it faithfully:

1) Did you have a lot of sleep orgasms while pregnant?
2) Have you read about the Dutch study that shows that oral sex can help prevent preeclampsia? Fascinating!"

The answers are as follows.

1. Sleep orgasms
Why yes! I did have lots of sexy fun dreams that ended in sexy fun times while sleeping.

But that is fairly normal for me. (TMI ahead, in case you couldn't figure out I was gonna go there.) Most of my sex dreams over the last, say 15 years, have happily ended in orgasms — granted, these kinds of dreams have always been few and far between for me. In fact, my remembering ANY dream at all that wasn't mundane, business meeting, day-to-day boring stuff was rare. 'Til baby. Now I remember my dreams, and they are wacky. It's likely because I am up every few hours, thanks to baby.

Here's the promised TMI:
My sex dreams that end in a big ol' O always include me taking care of my own business. Nope, I'm not actually having sex in my sex dreams. Ever. Not once that I remember.

It's always masturbation, and it's usually in some kinda public place. This is the setting for my sex dreams. (Yeah, I know, says some obvious things about me.)

OH: and anytime I'm about to hook up with someone in my dreams, be it a boy or a girl, I use what little lucid dreaming power I have to slowly transform them into Ross. OR, I make an excuse in the dream about how it's OK and I'm not actually cheating on Ross. In a dream.

And then I wake up. Super wound up and wondering why I can't get it on with someone else in a friggin' dream.

Anytmigirl, loving this website I just found when I searched for "orgasms in sleep while pregnant."

Here's the resident expert's take on they why behind the sleepytime fun times.

"During pregnancy, elevated hormones can make orgasms much more abundant and easier to have. Pregnancy hormones can also induce vivid dreaming. The combination of the two will result in frequent "wet dreams," which are very normal during pregnancy. And, don't worry, uterine cramping immediately following an orgasm in completely normal too."

On to question number two.

2. Have you read about the Dutch study that shows that oral sex can help prevent preeclampsia?

Holy crap! No. I had not heard this.

And when I first read the above note I assumed that the "oral sex" referred to cunnilingus, because I am apparently a self-absorbed, sexist kinda gal.

But after a quick click, I realized that no, it's more about the mom's body putting semen to good use and therefore not reacting in a negative way to the fetus. If you think of pregnancy in terms of its similarities to a transplant, well, you can imagine that sometimes a woman's body freaks out and rejects what's happening in her uterus. The study suggests that oral exposure to the sperm donor's semen can help her body maintain the necessary "tolerance." It's a quick read. Check it out.

But what, you wonder, trying to change the subject of the images in your head, is preeclampsia? The term refers to a set of symptoms: high blood pressure and high amounts of protein in the urine. My midwives did a urine dip at each home visit. Also, we watched for sudden leg or ankle swelling, which can also be a sign. It can develop up to six weeks after delivery as well.

Needless to say, for anyone who kept up with this blog during my pregnancy, I did not develop preeclamsia. (It's hard for me not to make some crack about why, but look, I'm not gonna do it!)

Babycenter has some preggo-friendly info if you'd like to learn more. Here's their quick definition:
"Preeclampsia is a complex disorder that affects 3 to 8 percent of pregnant women.

"A woman is diagnosed with preeclampsia if she has high blood pressure and protein in her urine after 20 weeks of pregnancy.

"(It's possible to have preeclampsia before 20 weeks, but only in rare cases, such as with a molar pregnancy.)

"Preeclampsia most commonly shows up after 37 weeks, but it can develop at any time during the second half of pregnancy, including during labor or even after delivery — usually within the first 48 hours.

"Preeclampsia can range from mild to severe, and it can progress slowly or rapidly. The only way to get better is to deliver the baby."

Or, maybe to give daddy a few blow jobs!

Sorry, I had to.

(Photos in this post are from the camera I took last year at this time when I hiked up Half Dome in Yosemite.)

Lady Bug Ginger Crash Kennedy Loy meets Bruce Lee. And a bee, priate and jack-o-lantern

2009-10-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated the season with a Baby Zombie party. It was awesome. (In this photo are Kate and Ivy Cat)

Last night when Ross came home from work I hit the road and arrived at the fabric store 'round 8pm. Thanks to the 30 minute line, it was nearly 9 before I made my purchase.

I remembered how to sew. Stayed up 'til about 1am and finished off Ginger's first ever Halloween costume this morning.

Which is ridiculous. Because I drove to the fabric store the night before a costume party for a two month old! I happily spent hours on a costume she'll have no memory of, and quite possibly could hate. First I fixed a pair of Ross's pants (belt loop blowouts on a defective pair of work pants -- that have been blownout since I met him. Ross did not make any snide comments about "hey, wow, you have had this sewing machine since you were 18 and NOW I finally get to see you use it!" Ross is a nice guy. And a smart one at that.)

I was totally a mom last night! Look what I made!

And, I don't think she hated it.

At least not too much.

Did you get a good look at Bruce and the pirate? Here:

So not true

2009-10-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

All that stuff (see previous post) about the changing table quieting Ginger magically? No longer true.

As soon as I hit publish and that post went live I got into "get outta the house within the hour" mode. At, say, the 45 minute mark, Ginger got changed. On the changing table. Which should have calmed her and entertained her so that I could put on clothes for the outside world.

She wriggled and screamed (yes, screamed) and made things difficult. I dressed quickly but without any embarrassing mom-isms (clothes inside out, not fastened, boobs out, boobs leaking due to forgotten boob shield.) Only the shoulder perch position saved the day.

The umbrella stroller was not a winner either, but if I jiggled it and pushed it quickly over rocks she would fall back/stay asleep.

I wonder what new Ginger-isms week eight will bring.

(As I type this, Ross is on the kitchen floor, Ginger is in her bouncy chair and it's total call and response in there, with lots of giggles and happy grunts. Ginger is making cute noises as well.)

Just why is that changing table so magic, anyway?

2009-10-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

I have shared with you all a few of Ginger's needs. (See post below). As well as her newly vocal personality (I'm calling it squawking, but please know that there are many new sounds beyond the squawk. Some might say she cries. Or screams. Sometimes she even hyperventilates, but those times usually involve the car set. Let's avoid talking about that for now, shall we? Yes.)

For some reason, the changing table is this magic place of quiet, smiles, coos, laughter and even napping.

Why?

Well, she likes to have her diaper changed.

I know (and sorry to other moms and dads and nannies out there). But it's true. She likes the attention and the procedure as soon as we start removing the diaper. (By the way, I'm still mostly using Nature's Baby Care because they are disposable AND biodegradable and have the fewest blowouts of anything I've used.) From there, if the paper towels we wet are warm, she practically gurgles in enjoyment.

If I'm being lazy or it's the middle of the night and the warm water just won't come (I am still in drought mode, so it's hard for me to wait) the "wipes" are a bit cold. So she does her "throw off the scorpion" move (really called the Moro reflex) and then settles into the fun wiping part.

Until recently, Ginger enjoyed the changings more when they were done by Daddy Ross. I believe this is because he has a gentler hand and far more patience than I. He noticed before I did that any good wiping around her tiny bung hole not only would get Ginger's attention, but would coax a smile or a laugh out of her.

Not to be outdone by Ross, I have taken to blowing on her bottom.

Yup, in between commenting on how cute and strong and smart and pretty she is, and predicting what kind of a student (excellent) and artist (talented/famous) and soccer player (professional) she'll be, I blow her stuff dry.

She LOVES this.

And it saves on the paper towels, which are Seventh Generation or some other expensive and green option.

The changing table is also pressed up against the window (in what WAS my room or my office), so she gets a bit of sun warmth. As well, we've surrounded her with stuffed animals, and warm, colorful, soft blankets. A number of strange but colorful items are also above her within her range of site.

And of course, there is the ceiling fan.

A changing might start with squawking and squirming, but as long as we don't change her clothes, it includes smiles and wriggling in happiness and ends in five to 20 minutes of "activity time" during which Ginger stares at various cool things and makes lots of pre-language noises. Often it ends in a nap.

She's waking up early from a nap right now (in her bassinet) so it's time to move her to the changing table. That way, I can get more computer time. I wonder how long the changing table will continue to be magic?

the most magic place of all

2009-10-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ginger is almost eight weeks old. Born at 2:07 am on Wednesday the 26th, she is not quite two months old, but is finishing off her seventh week on the outside.

She woke the-f-up at about week six.

Our perfect, easy, mellow baby is, well, she's still perfect (c'mon, you know I'm gonna say that) but she is not the easy, blobby mess who had learned to smile and would fall asleep mid squawk. That squawk, the one that demanded boob, or being picked up, or a diaper change, was the only squawk it took to get action from us. And once their was action, she'd silently accept our response.

If it was the wrong response, she'd make some noise again. We'd eventually get it. But there were only a handful of reasons she'd squawk (true, she doesn't like sleeves and has a problem with clothes in general when they get stuck on her head or nose or ears, and who can blame her?).

So, until recently; perfect, easy, mellow baby.

But nowadays, Ginger has needs!

We are still trying to figure out what these needs are and which new (louder) noises are attached to which need. These needs (desires? wants?) seem to include include:
--Bouncing
--Bouncing harder
--Bouncing harder and swaying
--Bouncing harder and swaying on the yoga ball
--Bouncing harder and swaying and in a different location every 1.5 minutes
--Bouncing so hard in her "bouncy-vibrate-y chair" that we recall the "don't shake the baby billboard" campaign and fear the authorities
--The football hold
--The football hold with any combination of the above
--The over the shoulder perch (add above combinations , but include bright lights
--Bright lights
--Ceiling fans, off and then on, mostly on (Ginger may believe that a certain pitch of squawk actually turns on the ceiling fans, we have yet to fully test this theory)
--Boob
--Dude/Dad, I sad BOOB!
--Boob while bouncing
--Boob while bouncing, swaying and walking around the house, pacing around someone else's house, marching down San Pablo Avenue while our dinner party eats
--Put down the book, lady! And pay attention to me, now!
--Lady, put down the book, OR the beer. I'll give you one, just one. And pay attention to me, now!

Thankfully, we have found a magic spot in the house for her.

It is her changing table. Observe the photos.

That was easy, wait, I think my left nipple is sore

2009-10-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

TMI ALERT!!!

DON'T READ, VIEW, PERUSE, CHECK OUT OR WHATEVER THIS POST ANY FURTHER IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE NIPPLE! MY NIPPLE, THAT IS.

REALLY.

OK, you've been warned. Read and view away.

The pump I'm using right now is an Ameda Hospital Grade Breast Pump. An elite.

This is not something I'll take with me when I go back to school or to work. This is something that I can use at home. Pumping after the second feeding each morning is usually a good idea (we make more milk in the am, so they say). And ladies who want to protect their milk supply need to pump while they are away from their breast feeding babes. It will vary for most women. But I might need to pump (or self express and just dump) as frequently as every 90 minutes.

Eep! I can just see myself now, waiting in the bathroom line with a bunch of college girls, and rather than peeing and primping and leaving, I'll be setting up shop. In a bathroom stall. To pump.

Pumping it up, right now

2009-10-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Nicole, who had an adorable small human named Piper last year, I have a crazy, teal-colored, impressively effective breast pump.

It is hospital grade.

It is easy to use.

It has dials on it for "cycles" and "vacuum."

And it is quite comfortable to use!

Ross is helping by... playing w/ a zombie ball. And making me dinner (as usual!)

My first ever pumping.We used the pump back in week 42 when we tried to induce labor. And by "we" I mean Ross set it up and told me how to use it. I sat in bed, read a horrible novel and occasionally looked down to watch my nipple expand and elongate as the pump pumped. Colostrum came out.

(Um, wow, you can buy bovine colostrum here.)

At seven weeks (tonight, at 2:07 am) we are more than ready to pump and bottle feed so I can do things like leave the house for more than 30 minutes. And Ross can share that amazing eye contact with Ginger that happens when she is happily gulping down boob juice. (I think Ross calls it boob juice. Gross?)

More on colostrum, (not of the bovine kind, though) in case you wanna know, from La Leche League, which rocks:

"Your breasts produce colostrum beginning during pregnancy and continuing through the early days of breastfeeding. This special milk is yellow to orange in color and thick and sticky. It is low in fat, and high in carbohydrates, protein, and antibodies to help keep your baby healthy. Colostrum is extremely easy to digest, and is therefore the perfect first food for your baby. It is low in volume (measurable in teaspoons rather than ounces), but high in concentrated nutrition for the newborn. Colostrum has a laxative effect on the baby, helping him pass his early stools, which aids in the excretion of excess bilirubin and helps prevent jaundice."

Yes, that was my period

2009-10-13T21:35:00.001-07:00

It's official. Or at least it is for me.

That five days of bright red blood and pads and icked-up undies was my first period after baby.

I've lamented to friends. I've bitched to Ross. I've whined to my midwife. But really, it's all an act. I don't really mind that I bled. My periods have never been terrible, or hard, or painful. They have been a bit of a nuisance at times, and downright frustrating: if I go camping, fly to a tropical paradise, head to Burning Man or will otherwise be in a bikini or hot pants for days on end, far from my usual bathing access and routine I am GUARANTEED to be on the rag. It's just the way it has always been. I can plan a trip in the middle of my cycle, I swear, and it's drip, drip, drip, tampon, tampon, tampon.

So, really, it's not surprising that now, when I assumed that boob feeding Ginger would guarantee more months, if not years, of a period-free life, that drip, drip, drip, it's back.

Our midwife (at our last ever official visit, boo!) basically said: "Well, if you think this is a period, then it is." I have no warning signs of anything BAD that it could be. I am healthy, happy, reasonably energetic, healed, well-fed and well-watered. And darnit, I know a period when I have one.

She did prescribe one-to-two droppers full of my placenta tincture each am during and for five days after the flow.

Placenta tincture, you wonder? (See photo above.)

Yup. Mine. I got it done up 50/50: half of that temporary organ got turned into powered capsules (good for about six months) to help regulate my postpartum
moods/hormones; and half is now in tincture form (good for darn near ever and made with berry vodka so it tastes kinda awesome). If we had succeeded in the homebirth, I would have had the midwives cook me up a placenta taco, but no, I did not get to eat it.

If I am a bit hormonally outta wack, my own hormones, distilled in vodka, should set me right.

I don't feel outta wack... so, yes, first period at week 6. I don't necessarily expect to settle into a predictable menstrual cycle yet. According to blogs and websites I've perused, many a lady who bleeds so soon WHILE breastfeeding doesn't see another visit from Aunt Flo for five or six months.

Regardless... I'm kindof in awe of my body lately. And therefore, I'm interested and not peeved or concerned: I wonder what my girlie parts are up to?

On a related topic: whatthehell kindof birth control will be be using here soon?

Pull and pray just doesn't seem like a good idea. Ginger is cute and all (see photos), but I have no intention of peeing on a stick any time soon.

Time to do some research. Cool!

Midwives last visit

2009-10-11T13:06:00.000-07:00

Kinda sad and rad at the same time.

Ross and I first welcomed the lovely ladies of Awakenings Birth Services into our home at about 12 weeks. Which was back in February.

After our initial interview (two of the three midwives came to our home, we interviewed them, they checked us out, took in our home, our relationship with our dog, how clean of a house we keep, prob'ly checked out how physically fit/not crazy I was/am) and we all agreed to work together.

Every three weeks we were visited by a midwife. The three ladies rotated so that we could all get to know one another. (At a home birth, I would be attended by one midwife for the majority of active labor, and then a second midwife would be called in to attend the delivery. They have their schedule set up so that each lady gets a good chunk of time off the clock. The same schedule allows families to get to know all three, thereby insuring close and comfortable relationships with both of the midwives who eventually attend the birth.)

At each visit, they would take my blood pressure (always perfect, lowish) test my pee (for proteins and other not so good things: always perfect), go over reading that had been assigned to me (I love me some reading assignments, I'd take notes, highlight, gather questions and make Ross read the good/bad/interesting stuff) and direct me towards any testing, screening etc. that I was interested in at the proper time.

These visits lasted for 90 minutes! My one OB visit lasted five minutes -- I was in the waiting room for 45 minutes and saw a nurse or two, but the OB spent maybe five whole minutes with me. I don't think I got to ask more than two questions... I like to ask questions. I like to talk. I like to learn. I did not like the visit with the OB. I did not necessarily dislike it. I learned nothing.

At each visit with a midwife I talked, listened and learned. Not just from the reading material or from what the midwife had to say. But I learned a little about myself or Ross, maybe how we were dealing with a new stage in pregnancy, maybe what we needed to work on to prepare for the next stages in pregnancy.

The midwife visits quickly became something I looked forward to.

After 37 weeks, when the pregnancy is considered full term, the visits were weekly. They began to include vaginal exams (which I loved, really, cause I learned about how dilated my cervix was and how effaced etc.) and eventually talk of what to do if we got to post-term dates.

We did. Get to post dates. Rather than have an early baby, (which I had planned on) or a 40 week baby (due date was August 10) or a regular baby for a first time mom like me (41 weeks and 1 day) we got well into 42 weeks.

The visits amped up in regularity. One of the midwives made herself available to me daily basis, (on the weekend!) when I wanted her to monitor Ginger's heart beat (perfect!) or to otherwise attend to my increasingly neediness.

The labor and birth were amazing (someday, more on these).

And the follow-up visits were fantastic. We had midwives here on day 2, day 3 and, and and, many times in the first days and weeks.

Now, at week six, we are done.

While these ladies remain our midwives and will happily answer any questions we have, offer us guidance, referrals, and in many ways continue to support our little family, there are no more scheduled visits.

It's kinda sad, like I said.

These women have been such an important part of my pregnancy and of course, of my labor. They have also each been here since Ginger was born. Each was informative and supportive. None was ever judgmental or bossy, even when I asked ridiculous questions, the kind that she must have heard from each new mom. (Me: So, it's OK when she does the whole REM sleep thing with her eyes open? 'Cause she kinda looks like a demon when she does that. Midwife (silence) "Yes, newborns sleep can look and sound strange."

In no way do Ross and I feel set adrift or otherwise unprepared for our midwives to say goodbye... I believe that thanks to working with midwives in general and Awakenings in particular, we are better prepared than most new families for the delightful and daunting, messy and difficult, magic and silly days/weeks/months ahead with Ginger.

It's wonderful that we manage our daily lives with a few weeks-old human. We have not only kept her alive, but her weight is great, she is alert and smiley and doesn't torture us any more than we torture her (midnight feedings and 5 am alert/hangout times are trade offs, I think, for bathing her or putting her in a car seat when she REALLY doesn't want to be in a car seat). So it's freaking radical to know that we're doing it!

But, yes, sad to say goodbye to our relationship with the midwives. I'll never be pregnant again for the first time. I'll never ask someone if it's OK to sleep on my back or drink a beer; and be reminded that I live in my body, and if I listen to it, I'll know what is right for me -- and my baby.

I'll never be scared of labor again; and gently guided to the knowledge that not only am I capable of a beautiful labor, but that I was born to experience a beautiful labor.

So, yeah, I could go on... but you get the idea. It's a bittersweet goodbye. I'm gonna go with a ta-ta-for-now, actually, because I'm not done knowing these amazing ladies.

Is that spotting or is my period just happy to see me?

2009-10-06T15:16:00.001-07:00

Really? I'm having my first period? At six weeks? What about all those sore nipple moments and the wonderful scraping feeling that accompanies my milk "let down?" Are the 3 am feedings and the 6 am tummy rubbings all for naught?

OK. I'm certainly not breastfeeding for my benefit. (Well, OK, kinda, because it's thanks to the milk ducts, baby suckling and etc. that I'm able to enjoy my 1-to-2 year boob job and I AM enjoying it, thank you very much. So is Ross. So are the guys at the liquor store.)

Breastfeeding is damn good for baby. And I suppose if I was less well-fed, less healthy and less-vitamined, I'd experience a traditional effect of breastfeeding: birth control! Granted, as Kitty pointed out, "Irish Twins" and all my Catholic friends' families are proof that boob feeding does not stop ovulation indefinitely. But I expected a few months of padless and tamponless life post-natally.

There is a chance that the medium, but bright red bleeding I'm experienced (day two or three now) is a resurgence of my spotting. But I don't think so. And I might have even felt a cramp yesterday. And one today.

At our last midwife visit this week, I'm sure we'll further explore this subject. And I know they'll respond to me email query if I have anything to worry about.

But I wonder:
Can I assume this is a period? And if I do, does this mean I am HEALED? And if so:
Can I use tampons?
Can I have regular (by that I mean vaginal, frequent, fun) sex?
Can I exercise more vigorously?
Can I do push ups?
Lift my tiny 10 lb weight?
Do crunches?
Hike?
Bikram Yoga?

Don't know yet. And while I plan to do some research, I need to go buy more pads.

Man, I kinda thought that as long as I was shelling out cash for expensive diapers, I'd get to NOT buy "feminine hygiene products."

Grrrr. Argh. Pads it is.

(But really, it's kinda cool that my body is what it is.)

Things my mother lied about

2009-10-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

My mother has told me wonderful stories about my childhood, about raising kids, being pregnant, giving birth, etc. She is a helluva story teller.

When I've called her on her less-than truths, she has said, "Jenny, if we told our daughters the truth about childbirth, the human race would end." Or something like that.

But she has also been right about some stuff, and I've got to admit it.

Things my mother was right about:
--The pierced nipples: they do leak, a little, out of the hole where the piercings were for many years until about six months ago. (When I grudgingly pulled my mom aside to say "you were right" she said, "you don't have your nipples pierced!)... he he he, that's my mom!)
--The first few weeks are fun and easy
--Playing dress-up with Ginger is fun. But she's already growing out of clothes.
--There's really nothing like it. Spider-dog was good practice, but yeah, this is very different.

Things my mother lied about:
"Having a baby is cheap!"
LIES! Hospital bill is, so far, $20,000. I only owe about $2000 of that at this point (after my $2400 deductible and my out-of-network $4500 midwife/homebirth bill, not to mention acupuncture -- that is not paid for even out of network -- by my plan, but this is after my deductible, etc.) All told, I've spent about $10,000 on medical stuff so far.

I just ordered 8 packages of diapers for about $80. Sure, they are biodegradable/disposable, so I could go cheaper, but sheesh, don't tell me this practical stuff ain't gonna add up!

"You'll be such a cute little zombie"
This is what she said while chuckling about my plans to start school. If Ginger had arrived two or more weeks before classes for my master's program started, I would be in school. Now. Before now. Before the six-hour-drive back to NorCal resulted in my sleeping until 5 pm the following day.
Ginger arrived two days AFTER class started, so, Mom's visions of my negotiating sleepless nights and morning classes, paper deadlines and diaper rash, were all for naught. I am NOT a zombie. Because I can sleep in until 11 am if Ginger is up from 5 to 6 or 7 or 8 EVERY night.

Or like last night, if she'd up at 2:30 til 6 am. I fed her. She was smiley so we just hung out. Then she got cranky. Then she threw up two boobs worth of milk on to me and her outfit and my robe. Then she fell asleep. Out of bed by 11:30 am!

"It won't matter where you have her once you have her in your arms"
To some extent this is true. But honestly, at three or four weeks, I was still processing my disappointment with having to START off at the hospital. I always imagined laboring at home -- where I delivered here didn't matter to me in my imaginings, but taking advantage of the privacy and familiarity of our own home, not to mention the birth tub, cool swing/hammock thing that Ross made for me, was certainly part of my imaginings. And my fantasy of our birth.

The birth was amazing, the staff at the hospital made it amazing, I was amazing (yes, I will go there), and of course, having Ginger is amazing.

So, here, mom was kinda right. And kinda wrong.

"I hardly noticed I was in labor"
Say what?

OK, this is what Mom says her older sister said to her. So it was Mom that was lied to. She does in fact admit to noticing she was in labor with me. In fact, she told the Doc she wanted to go home. He said it was too late to good home. She begged for drugs (Can you say transition! I can! Gimme a T...), Dog said nope, too late, you're doing fine, etc.

Next time, on "The Lies My Mother Told Me" -- the milk let down feeling for me: not nice, not warm, not pins and needles. Oh no. Tiny razors scraping my inner boob on their way to the nipple. Fun!

Ginger has allowed me on the computer!

2009-10-04T12:42:00.000-07:00

Ginger is nearly six weeks old. The photo here (which makes me laugh!) is from a few weeks ago. She looks more human every day!

Life is very different now. My schedule is different. My body is different. My energy level as well. Life is fun and new and revolves around a squirmy, smiley, leaky little human. At least for now. While the world hasn't stopped turning, and being me hasn't gotten any less complicated, I'm grateful to the shitty economy and a lifetime of saving money and my wonderful partner because for the next many weeks, my world, my being Jen CAN revolve around Ginger. At least as much as I want it to.

Yes, I sound like a new mom "oh, my baby is beautiful, want to hold her?" and "Having a baby is like nothing else," and "If you don't have kids, you just can't understand!"

OK, I'm not actually saying that last statement, and I hope to never even suggest it.

In fact, I wanna try to convey to anybody who dares to read this here blog (Ross's dad agrees with friends' description of me as a sometimes too-much-information girl) just what the experience has been and is for me.

Let's see if Ginger lets me be at the computer for more than 15 minutes a day. Which, as it turns out, is enough to check my email, plan to read some of it later, stalk a few friends on Facebook and update my status. But so far, it's not enough to write a story for money (1 story in 15 days!) or do a daily blog post.

Oh, I hear Ginger now. Time for boob!

Or bouncing.

Ginger the adorable blob

2009-09-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

Ginger is sleeping.

Thankfully, while she is still in the "blob phase" (affectionate term for the first four-to-six weeks, before babies smile or otherwise acknowledge our existence for anything other than food/diapers/burbing) she is not likely to roll out of the rocking chair I laid her down in.

Being a responsible new mom, I placed the soft dog bed and a blanket next to the chair -- just in case!

About the blob phase: I find it rather cute. She is needy, yes, but I seem to suddenly LIKE needy. Ross has returned to work (after two weeks of Ginger) and I am mostly on my own while he is gone, say, from noon to 6pm or later. On my own might include an outing with another mom, or a visit by baby-wanting friends, so I have support and even extra hands. But while I'm in the house, in between visits, we are alone.

Which means that if I don't bathe before Ross leaves the house, I have to time my quick-fast personal hygiene regimen around Ginger's feedings and nappings. As of this week, she is not likely to fall asleep unless she is attached to my body. Which is cute... but challenging, especially if I want to do the dishes, fold the laundry (again, Mom, THANK YOU for the washer and drier!), answer the phone that is across the room, etc. Ginger has gotten wise to the trick of allowing her to fall asleep and then setting her down. She can tell the difference between my body heat and the bed/bassinet/etc. But if I wait long enough (patience, I'm still learning patience) she's zonked enough to be set down. Carefully. With just the right amount of blanket and pressure.

But really, she remains a blob. A very cute blob. But a blob none-the-less.
About the Blob:
--The blob wants to eat.
--She needs to be burped at least in between boobs, but often during a boob.
--Feedings usually start at one boob and move to the other.
In a very un-bloblike manner, she gets too excited during most feedings and pops off the nipple, bounces her head around like she can't find the nipple again (even though it's poking her cheek or popping in and out of her perfect leetle mouth), and screws her face up to squawk her frustration. I have learned that Ginger needs to be pulled away from the boob, possibly she needs to burp, or simply she needs to reboot. So I get her up to my shoulder, pat with seriousness, and re-align her. Feeding commences, Blob returns.
--An effective feeding reduces her to a drunken, very blob like mush.
--Before the "milk drunk" hits, she might release the nipple, coo a bit and even place her upper arm on top of the boob, as if she is preparing to rest her weary head on her arm. A deep sigh and a lazy smile would go well with this pose.

Did you know that when a newborn nurses/hits the bottle, her body immediately gets to work on a bowel movement?

Yup. Which means changing a diaper right before a feeding is less than efficient or cost-effective.

Newborn bellies can't expand (and by belly I mean stomachs) and they can only hold about tablespoon of milk. So as new volume is added, the body begins the rather complex (this is a new born, remember) process of pooping: pushing AND relaxing! All this takes place while drinking and breathing, all new to a newborn.

Some babies find the process to be challenging, scary and or painful. This will pass... but feedings in the early weeks can be challenging.

Thus far, feedings have been pleasant, entertaining, and only in the middle of the night are they ever annoying.

'Course when I wake up at dawn and my boobs are hard, leaking and feel like needles are coming out of the nipples, feeding her is anything BUT annoying. It is a huge relief.

Ginger is a star

2009-09-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

We have a mellow, sweet-smelling, energetic little girl on our hands. She likes to sleep (even at night), loves ceiling fans and squawks when she tires of whatever view we have pointed her at. And she lets us know exactly when she wants the boob. Which is a often.

She is also a star of pretty much a daily photo shoot. I have sent this link out to friends and family (it will be friends-of-family safe, where this blog rarely is). I'll upload photos to it, while not daily, certainly frequently.

And I'll be back in action on the blog starting this week.

The two week mandatory chill period is nearly over! I've only cheated a few times: Saturday afternoon we three went to a BBQ/B-Day party for Michael and were happily surrounded by five young families. Baby Nikko, Tullulah and Ari were all there (recall the pregnants? We are all moms now, and many of us were in attendance.) Giacamo (six years old this week) arrived later as well, with his lovely 'rents.

Needless to say, Ginger was a hit. My friends all repeating ad infinitum how much Ginger looks like Ross. (Later that night, Ross made sure I wasn't upset by the constant comments about her having his nose, mouth, cheeks. I assured him I couldn't be happier with how she came out.)

Speaking of coming out: there will eventually be more info on the blog about the birth, the decision to go to hospital, the drive home, the healing process, etc. I want to make sure to not only record what this amazing but somehow familiar experience has been like, but to provide some of the less-discussed details of the aftermath of birth.

Because I experienced pregnancy with a close group of like-minded and not at all shy friends, I was able to ask each brand-new mom very direct questions about her experience, regrets, memories soon after giving birth. I benefited greatly. And I'd like other preggos to benefit from my (and our) experiences as well.

Also, I can't help myself! I don't call myself "Too-Much-Information Girl" for nothing. It's like my super power... to tell you way more than you wanted to know -- but to keep you coming back for more. Or at least checking back occasionally to see if I've cleaned up my act or am still intent on curling the toes of

Of course, there will be loads of "oh my god, Ginger projectile vomited today and it was SO cute!" posts as well. And photos of Ross and Ginger being cute. I am a new mom, after all, armed with a digital camera and a relatively fast dsl connection.

As you can see below (That's Fanny, having freshly delivering food to the hungry new 'rents, we allowed her to hold Ginger. Who could tell she is not currently planning to procreate, and did not approve!), we like torturing the baby. Passing her around to friends is one form of torture that we like. More on this later.

Ginger Crash Kennedy Loy has arrived

2009-08-27T11:34:00.001-07:00

More info to come. But I wanted to post a few photos here that are a bit more intimate that facebook deserves.

Sure, we planned a homebirth (I never did make it into the birthing tub that has been in my room/office/Ginger's room for 5 weeks), but Western Med. gets very nervous when their charts get to postdates.

Our EDD was August 10.

At 42 weeks and 1 day, we admitted to St. Lukes in SF, the BEST hospital in the Bay Area for those who intended on a home birth. By five we had .5 drops of Pit on an IV per hour pumping/dripping into me. Didn't take long before very gentle contractions started. And they unhooked me from the Pit. (So, no IV or cords during the labor!)

My water broke around 8pm. I was hard at work by 9 or 9:30 pm and delivered Ginger with the help of Ross, my amazing birth team (Midwife Julie Tilsner, Doula Nickie Tisner and Doula-in-Training, Natasha) at 2:07 am.

She came out quick! Not too many pushes (I loved pushing! Waiting for the next contraction was hard though!) once her head was out, she came right into the world. Poppa Ross caught her while I was wide-eyed. She arrived bloody, alert, totally healthy and, of course, perfect.

Some quick stats: 7.8 pounds, steely blue eyes, she has her dad's lips and elegant little toes (like her mother!). She was born at 2:07 am, Aug 26th (which makes her a Virgo: I have some research to do). She did that amazing crawl up my belly and latched on within about 30 minutes. She nurses often and regularly.

We have tons of photos already and will post more soon. We're napping when the little lady naps and are at her beckoned call. Her squawks and almost cries are adorable. Her yawns are miraculous and her sneezes are heart-braking. And did I mention she looks just like her dad? Such a cute pair...

I feel tingly

2009-08-19T15:36:00.000-07:00

Ross is back at work. I am at home, dealing with health insurance stuff.

For instance:
We need to get me in for a non-stress test in order to legally go head with a home birth. We'll make sure her heart rate is good via a sono. My midwives listen each week with a fetal-scope, but this will be all fancy machines and technicians that make w. medicine types happy. (My understanding is that, as we approach the end of 41 weeks, we need to prove we're doing all we can, that baby and mommy are good, and if we have to transfer to hospital we want the midwives and mommy to be treated with respect by the staff.)

The first three calls I was told I couldn't make the appointment without an OB. It was fun to tell folks why I wasn't using an OB, and to (I was nice, I swear) tell them what I thought of their Brazil-like system. I got to point out that their office had worked with my midwives many times. And that when I called back later I'd likely be able to make the appointment.

During one call, I was asked what color the referal form was. I said white. WRONG ANSWER. If I had said yellow, they would have made the appointment. The midwives make copies of the forms. The copies are white. Which makes them obsolete -- over the phone.

Anyridiculousness: Got the appointment for Friday afternoon.

I put more money in my Health Savings Account (tax free, baby!). I've already spent more than this and last year's allowed amounts. But after the birth, we can work on getting reimbursed for my midwives (they will likely be considered out of network, so that's %50 AFTER the annual deductible.) Getting doula, birthing tub, acupuncture, etc. will be more of a challenge. But hey, I can educate the person on the other end of the line and be one more person who saves the insurance company money by working with midwives and a doula.

As I sit here (and have fun on facebook regarding induction and the health care "debate") the little lady is wildly active. My cervix sings each time she moves. I will hike withe dog soon. And later we'll hit the farmer's market. I think she'll be here soon... She's low (was at the zero position LAST Thursday) and I know my cervix has done more work since then (about 70% effaced, nearly 2 centimeters dilated).

I'm also waking up pretty darn "done" with being pregnant. By dawn I've peed four or five times, snored loud enough to drive Ross downstairs (he can't read with a pillow over his ears, he explained this morning), flipped from side to nearly back to side dozens of times, and become aware that another night has passed with just a tiny bit of disappointment: I expect labor to begin in the middle of the night...

So, here we go. Any day now.

But first, a hike.

A week and a day or two after EDD

2009-08-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were a week and a day after the estimated due date. Which is actually the average birth date for babies of first-time moms (in my socio-economic, w. world, well-fed, healthy bracket of ladies). So, as I reminded my mother and sister and doula and midwife and baby daddy, we COULDN'T go into labor yesterday, for fear of having being average.

Today would be good tho!

While I've had a blast retrieving tips (mostly from facebook) about how to induce, or rather, stories of what folks ate or did the day the became a laboring mom, I have to admit, I haven't really gone whole hog on any of them. Let's review the suggestions I have received:

From Linda: "Eat an entire pineapple. My friend did this and the baby practically fell out while I was watching."
Status: I ate 3/4 of a pineapple, while surrounded by babies at a baby pic nic.
Result: I felt some cervical zingers, and had a very easy to move bowel movement later that day.

More from Linda: Tropical fruits such as kiwi, mango and pineapple contain an enzyme that may cause mild contractions. Red raspberry leaf tea is also good at toning the cervix and wonderful for women at any stage of their reproductive cycle. You should be able to find it in the health food section of the grocery store. Remember to read the ingredients to make sure you’re not allergic to any of them.
Status: Several tall glasses of papaya juice in one day, mango salad last night
Result: I am one healthy mama-to-be, and a very regular one at that
Note: With all of the fruit suggestions, I could eat more in one sitting

To do: make a fruit salad tonight

From Andrea (woman, I love this story!!!)
My water broke while drinking a double chocolate shake at Fenton's. Seriously. I was sitting in the middle section, so the feet of everyone sitting at tables about me got soaked in amniotic fluid. They had four servers cleaning it up. Over the cell phone my midwife told me to check the color and smell, and then informed me I could finish my meal. I immediately went home, sopping wet and mortified. Go to Fenton's! It also worked for a friend of mine.
Status: Ross and I have an ice cream date this evening... before the fruit salad

From Carla and Erica:
My mom ate half a pizza with everything on it after a long day of early Christmas shopping. She woke up in the middle of the night with what she thought was heartburn. Nope, just Carla staging her final internal parade.

And: I second the eating advice. My friend spent all day shoving food in her mouth and her baby girl was born the next day. *(Erica has two blogs
Status: I. Eat. A. Lot. Every day. I will certainly up the amount if my body wants me to, but I don't think that simply eating her out will work. 'Cause I think the midnight burger fests followed by half a carton of yogurt would have done the trick.

From Laurel: I ate pesto pizza for dinner and threw it all up in my doula's face a few hours later when I was in transition. I kept apologizing, but she was totally cool with it.
Status: HA HA HA HA. That is all.

From Chandra: I was allegedly born early due to heavy Thanksgiving dining + leftovers + champagne.... My mom was in labor a long time, but I was born 3 weeks early.
Status: I forgot about the bubbly.

To do: Get a bottle of bubbly!!!

From Cherlyn: there was an article on the SF gate POOP blog site about eating lobster to induce labor - and have you heard of the prego pizza that helps induce labor?? http://www.skipolinispizza.com/prego.php?text=Legend_of_the_Prego_Pizza it's here in the east bay!
Status: I have not yet tried the pizza. I'll save this for tomorrow. I did, however, over indulge at Lanesplitters

To do: make a reservation for Thursday.

From Keith: "Find a place where babies are crying, and hang out there. You are evolved to cue to that sound by lactating which results in oxytocin (the natural hormone which pitocin mimics) release which can induce labor. Failing that, download mp3s of crying babies and listen to them loud."
Status: So, he baby picnic with happy, sleeping or slurping babies was a bust because they were happy, sleeping and slurping babies!
Result: As I said above, zingers. But no labor.

To do: I will be downloading shortly!!!!

What to do on the estimated due date?

2009-08-13T11:49:00.001-07:00

Monday was a great day.

Ross did housework and I got the ball rolling on deferral.

By 1pm we had packed the car with towels, floaty, cooler (yes, with beer, it's my celebration, damnit) and dog for a day on the Russian River.

My logic was this: Let's drive as far out of town as we can stand and see if that doesn't jump-start labor.

Also, August is finally hot and summery and I have not spent nearly enough time on the river this year.

We arrived with sandwiches and cherries and 1 beer down. We found shade, inflated a floaty and tortured the dog by taking him with us on our first slow float. (Spider is not a water-loving dog. On a hot day, he'll head for the water, drink it up, get in up to his belly and maybe follow Ross or I as we wade or swim, but he does this without enjoyment.)

There were beers and yellow jackets, dogs on leashes, white trash girls who were much cuter than their white trash boys and lots of smooches between Ross and I (the mix of sun, water and white trash has that effect on us).

As well, I got lots of attention from the locals.

Moms/Grandmoms approached to find out how preggo I was and compliment me on being out and about, or on my figure (!) and especially on our decision to do a home birth.

Younger moms and friends (with beers in hand) were also thrilled that I was out, and on my due date no less. We compared due date stories of water and celebration.

The teenagers (beers in hand when no one was looking) next to us, however, seemed to refer to me as a warning, a public service message, if you will.

About my boobs: "Oh, yeah, but then the milk comes and you're all sore and when you're done they sag."

About breeding: "I think I could have one kid, maybe, but I'd have to do it soon so I can get my body back."

About everything else: "Take off your clothes." "What?" "Get naked!" "I can't hear you. Shut up!" (This a conversation between two 15/17-year-olds, maybe a couple, mixed with unintelligible honky/gangsta slang and debates about who was being a slut).

I was happy with my role, loved the attention, and chuckled at the teens. I prob'ly sounded like them until my mid-twenties, minus the gansta slang.

Throughout the day, I got progressively less comfortable. Floating was nice, but lounging, sitting, laying around = awful. Ginger was moving lower and lower, and letting me know what positions were cramping her style.

Cat and cow postures helped, and likely added to my persona of "really fucking pregnant lady over there." The drive home was interesting and I simply gave in to the pressure on my cervix, the total inability to lean forward and a massive thirst.

At about 1 am, I was experiencing my first-ever round of contractions. Intense enough for me to notice, practice breathing and counting, and remember what the midwives/doula had suggested.

I alerted Ross, but told him to stay in bed (he listened and made me agree that I needed to get some sleep.) I was feeling wired, like whole-pot-of-coffee alert as I thought about what we needed to do before the doula arrived: wash the dishes, fill the tub, get the crock pot out, etc. Not exactly relaxing were these thoughts. I was excited that she might come and did what I usually do when I'm excited: Think myself in circles.

So, I got up, ate a dinner-size snack. Hydrated. And opened the pretty darn nice bottle of wine I had hidden just for this purpose. As I sipped on my massive glass of red, I wrote the emails that I thought I'd need to send when labor actually starts, added more media/text to our phone plan because we'll be using more in the weeks that follow Ginger Crash's arrival, and checked our lists of needs, to-dos, etc.

By the time the second glass of wine hit, I was calm enough to go back up stairs and within 30 minutes, I was asleep.

Pretty cool to get the practice round in! I should expect a few more before I start to labor... and I should pretty much play it just like that: do whatever it takes to relax, rest or sleep. When labor starts for reals, I won't be able to sleep, but the practice relaxing and resting will really pay off.

OK: Ginger, bring it on, honey! I am ready for whatever you've got in store for me.

EDD has come and gone

2009-08-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, our estimated due date was Monday, August 10th.

I woke up a big groggy, and earlier than I would have liked and got my self fed, watered and slightly caffeinated, and headed into Berkeley to meet with the lady from the DCRP (Department of City and Regional Planning) and discuss registration for classes, deferral options and the like.

Why did I wait until my due date to talk to admissions? Because, frankly, I'm shocked that my will power, many "conversations" with the inhabitant of my belly, and all that intent didn't force an earlier birth. It would have fit into my schedule, I joke, for her to arrive in the last week of July. That's what we got ready for. That's when everyone started to call and check in. That would have been a safe time for her and a good time for me and my desire to start grad school on time. But, um. No, didn't happen.

As my lovely midwives, doula have been warning me all along, the baby decides when she's ready to come. And giving up the need to control the date of labor and the labor itself are essential lessons to get us through early days of motherhood.

Fine. I give. Ginger Crash is in charge. And I'm really OK with it. (Really, I've never felt this mellow. Hormones?)

Especially because after a chat my admissions-savior-gal, she offered to request a spring deferral! (She has seen two friends become moms this summer and in her words "You are not going to want to be in class in two weeks.) One of the deciders was the professor whose class I took in the spring. So I'm no stranger to her. She told me during the class that she thought I belonged in the department, so, that was a good sign.

Verdict: Approved!

I can start classes in the spring semester. Woo hoo! This means I get months to figure out baby, breast feeding, pumping, part-time working away from the house, etc.

This also means that I have no needs or expectations for her to emerge until she's ready.

Still, I'd really like to see what color eyes she's gonna have. Will they come out in the browns and therefore stay in the browns? Or will they come out in the steely blues and maybe be blue, green, hazel or brown?

And will she be bald? I was bald.

30 pounds, baby (and me)

2009-08-08T11:32:00.001-07:00

I've been eating like a good little pregnant lady. Lots of fats, green veggies, cholesterol (3 eggs a day would do the trick, I can do two), tons of fruit and any read meat I can get into my gaping maw. And, recently, it appears I have gained about 30 pounds!!! Which is just about right. "They" say 25 to 35. I'm in the final days here, have been preggo longer than many (Lan popped at 37.5 weeks!), and a pound a week here at the end is what we aim for.

Arrgh. Remember when I was tiny! I DO!!! This photo was taken in early October, at Kitty's girl's night out (Kitty popped almost three weeks ago!). I got knocked up about 5 weeks later. And got boobs by week 1 of December, so, yeah. I've been packing it on, steadily, ever since. Woo hoo?!

39 weeks means we are but days away from the EDD, the estimated due date, which really just gives pregnant people something to schedule life around and obsess about. Most first-time moms like myself (socio-economic, health-wise, etc.) are 1 week and 1 day late.

While I might be chronically late to social events, I really don't wanna be late on this one. If only because I want to go to grad school. Classes start on August 24th... EDD is is August 10th... if we're late, I think I'll have to defer.

The midwives (and all sane people) prescribe staying at home, doing lots of skin-to-skin time with baby and NOT doing things like going to classes for two weeks. Two weeks is MINIMUM -- we shouldn't even leave the house (a tiny walk in the garden or around the block is fine) as the no-longer-preggo body has some serious healing to do. Yes, there's the whole lady parts that are healing, but don't forget, internal organs have to settle into the right spots, we want the bleeding (!) to slow each day, the uterus has to shrink back to size, we have to learn how to breastfeed...

So, c'mon little lady. We're ready!

About 39 weeks, according to BabyCenter
"How your baby's growing:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

"How your life's changing:
At each of your now-weekly visits, your caregiver will do an abdominal exam to check your baby's growth and position. She might also do an internal exam to see whether your cervix has started ripening: softening, effacing (thinning out), and dilating (opening). But even armed with this information, there's still no way for your caregiver to predict exactly when your baby is coming. If you go past your due date, your caregiver will schedule you for fetal testing (usually a sonogram) after 40 weeks to ensure that it's safe to continue the pregnancy. If you don't go into labor on your own, most practitioners will induce labor when you're between one and two weeks overdue — or sooner if there's an indication that the risk of waiting is greater than the risks of delivering your baby without further delay.

"While you're waiting, it's important to continue to pay attention to your baby's movements and let your caregiver know right away if they seem to decrease. Your baby should remain active right up to delivery, and a noticeable slowdown in activity could be a sign of a problem. Also call if you think your water may have broken. Membranes rupture before the beginning of labor in about 8 percent of term pregnancies. Sometimes there's a big gush of fluid, but sometimes there's only a small gush or a slow leak. (Don't try to make the diagnosis yourself. Call even if you only suspect you have a leak.) If you rupture your membranes and don't start contractions on your own, you'll be induced."

38 weeks

2009-08-08T11:14:00.000-07:00

So, not gonna have a tiny, early baby. I was born 6.6 or 7 weeks early. I weighed in at just about 5 lbs. Preemie. Didn't need to get cooked, but I was TINY. And my parents were totally not ready, so I was swaddled in dad's t-shirts and slept in a drawer.

We are READY. Have a number of potential sleeping places. Way too many cute clothes (thanks Katy/Angelle/Mimi, Maggie and Sarah for the recent boxes of goodies) and a big ol belly.

At this week's midwife visit (they come weekly beginning at 37 weeks) I was:
--still gooey soft in the cervix
--35% effaced
--no more dilated

I find that I really look forward to the vaginal exams. If nothing else, gives me cervix a wake up call and me a darn good idea of where we're at, me and baby. Below is where the pros think I should be.

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

"Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

"How your life's changing:
For many women, the next couple of weeks are a waiting game. Use this time to prepare your baby's nursery or to take care of necessary tasks you may not get around to for a while after your baby's born. Take naps, catch up on your reading, and spend uninterrupted time with your partner while you can.

"Some swelling in your feet and ankles is normal during these last weeks, but call your practitioner without delay if you notice excessive or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, more than slight swelling of your hands, any swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, or have a sudden weight gain. Also let her know immediately if have severe or persistent headaches; visual changes (such as double or blurred vision, seeing spots or flashing lights, light sensitivity, or a temporary loss of vision), intense upper abdominal pain or tenderness, or nausea and vomiting. These are symptoms of a serious condition called preeclampsia."

--Yes! we wonder what color her eyes will be. I've got crazy yellow/blue/gry/hazel/green eyes. Ross has lovely brown. I put in an order for green. We'll see. (ha ha ha)
--Can't believe I might have a kid that weighs more than 7 or 8 pounds. I don't LOOK that big...
--Some swelling, yes, especially at the end of the day after I've been on my feet all day or been on a hilly hike.

15% effaced, go cervix, go!

2009-08-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, I love my midwives!

At the 37 week and 4 days visit, my midwife and I headed upstairs for my first ever (with the midwives) vaginal exam. I was understandably excited.

Way back in college I was a sexual health educator ... peers, students, clinic hours, me in front of the Japanese-American student union, doing a condom, vibrator routine that both educates and entertains.

I actually enjoy my annual exams! (Usually at Planned Parenthood.) I get to talk to ladies who have dedicated their professional (or volunteer) lives to serving low-income women in a manner that I more than applaud: health care! sex ed! woo hoo! I grill them on updates about testing, vaccines and the like. And, I get my exam in the process. (Can you imagine me chatting my way through a pelvic? Good, 'cause that's exactly what I do.)

Back to the home visit.

Upstairs we go. My midwife checks heart tones of the little lady: 140's, excellent variation = Ginger sounds perfect! (Her words, not mine!)

She checks my blood pressure: 108/68 = perfect! (Her words, not mine!)

And then she puts on a glove (reclaimed from the birth kit we had delivered to the house), squeezed out the lube (also reclaimed from the birth kit we had delivered to the house) and made sure that I have had no trauma associated with this kinda thing. I do not.

I am giddy, frankly, because I know she'd soon tell me what my body had been up to and how close, if at all, we were to meeting baby/going into labor/etc.

"This will be cold..."

While we chat, she finds my cervix, which is kinda difficult because it's so soft! (This is a good thing, the cervix is usually rather hard, but giving, like the tip of your nose. We need it to be soft, like a pudgey cheek.) She then begins to manipulate it, kinda pull it forward (the cervix points more to the back of our pelvis most of the time, but as we prepare to menstruate or, say, deliver a baby, the cervix moves "forward") and tells me that she can't quite fit her finger tip inside, which means that the os, the opening to the cervix, is still shut tight = no dilation. We need 10 centimeters of dilation in order to get the baby's head out.

I try not to be too disappointed.

The sensations were just like a pap smear, a little uncomfortable, kinda tingly in chalkboard scratch kinda way, but no pain... so I have no problem that she's still in there, doing what she needs to do.

We chat a bit more and then she said: "OK, let me tell you what I've been able to do..."

While we talk, she has slowly inserted the tip of her finger into my cervix... and not just the tip, up to a few knuckles! WHILE WE TALKED my cervix dilated to about 1.5 centimeters!

Which was awesome, painless if not sensationless, and meant that my cervix is very pliable and my body had been doing it's job.

By end of session we determine:
Effacement of cervix = 15 % (we need 100 % for full dilation to occur)
Dilation = 1.5 centimeters (again, gotta have the 10 centimeters)

So cool! Body hard at work, and I hadn't really noticed. We end the meeting with me giddier than ever (and with some lube kinda, working its way outta me, so, sticky, too) I skip across the living room (which is funny, cause I'm not exactly little at this point), sooooo proud and thrilled to be in my body.

Ross listens, a bit bemused, as I give him the blow by blow, but he agrees, my body = cool!

In the days following, I notice more cervical sensations: Now that I can identify what it feels like, I can tell more readily when things are happening, go effacement and dilation, go!

37, the week that was

2009-08-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

At 37 weeks you gotta be ready to go. That means birth tub in the house, instructions read, adapter for the hose located.

Birth kit, ordered and birth list from the midwives fulfilled and organized. Which includes things like a sealed brown paper bag, with clean, dry items like:
--20 thin washcloths for perineum compresses
--bath mats and towels for sopping up water around the birth tub
--baby's first outfit, two of the stocking caps that came with the birth kit, an organic cotton blanket to wrap her in
--sheets for the birthing bed (that goes over the plastic tarp that goes over the already made-up bed that goes over they hypoallergenic cover that has kept me from being an allergy girl for months, now.

Let's look at what the experts say about this magic, all systems go, week:

"How your baby's growing:"
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

"Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz."

I kinda doubt she weights that much, frankly. I think I'll have a kinda little lady.

"How your life's changing:
Braxton Hicks contractions may be coming more frequently now and may last longer and be more uncomfortable. You might also notice an increase in vaginal discharge. If you see some "bloody show" (mucus tinged with a tiny amount of blood) in the toilet or in your undies, labor is probably a few days away — or less. (If you have heavier spotting or bleeding, call your caregiver immediately.) Also be sure to ask your caregiver about the results of your Group B strep culture. That way, if the result isn't yet on your chart when you get to the hospital or birth center, you'll be able to give the staff there a timely heads-up if you need antibiotics.

"It may be harder than ever to get comfortable enough to sleep well at night. If you can, take it easy through the day — this may be your last chance to do so for quite a while. Keep monitoring your baby's movements, too, and let your caregiver know immediately if you notice a decrease. Though her quarters are getting cozy, she should still be as active as before.

"While you're sleeping, you're likely to have some intense dreams. Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy."

Happily, I was tested and have been determined to be Step B NEGATIVE. No bloody show, no change in mucus. No signs of labor.

In week 37, sleeping on my back and through most of the night has been fine.

Though, the mosquitoes are doing their best to wake me up each and every hour...

The hunger

2009-08-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

In these last weeks, I am supposed to gain one pound a week. She gains an ounce a day. This is harder than it sounds.

On a typical night I eat a night-time snack of cheese and meat, maybe some nuts or grain-y bread at 6. By nine I've had a meal. If the meal was small, I make a hamburger or two by midnight. If it's only one hamburger. I get up at 3 or 4 and have to eat: in the middle of the night I try to make it simple: 12 heaping tablespoons of yogurt. A quick brush of the teeth and back to bed. Mind you, this is me, naked, half asleep, eating out of the container, not washing up and nearly falling back up the stairs into bed.

Ross usually wakes up enough, or takes off his headphones and looks up from his musical tinkering to say, "Are you OK?"

"Haveta eat more food."

Last night I supplemented the yogurt with pumpernickel bread and double cream brie. A lot of crumbs to clean up this am.

First breakfast: two pieces of sprouted, multi-grain, high-protein bread soaked in a soup of two eggs and 1/2 cup of whole, unpasteurized, cream-top milk, cooked in coconut oil, heavily sprinkled with powered sugar (cause I am so not the 100% healthy pregnant woman, puhlease!)

Second breakfast/brunch: will have fruit and veggies. It might start with a banana, peanut butter smoothie...

I have days during which I am soooo sick of food. Must find other yummies to get me through breastfeeding!

What is a crenshaw melon?

2009-07-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

Oh, OK. She's the size of a crenshaw melon.

I totally WON'T miss the fruit comparisons. It was totally cute at first, but now it's just annoying. And no, I'm not grumpy and it's not a hot day or anything. I just didn't know what a crenshaw melon looked like, and so the comparison was not helpful.

Still, a look at what I/we are expected to experience in week 36.

From BabyCenter

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

"At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position. But if she isn't, your practitioner may suggest scheduling an "external cephalic version," which is a fancy way of saying she'll try to coax your baby into a head-down position by manipulating her from the outside of your belly."

She has been head down since week 32. We are steph B-free. She might still be facing forwards, which can lead to back labor and an all around tougher labor. But I've been doing the cat/cow postures to convince her to roll around.

Two nights ago, she was absolutely rolling around! Limbs sticking out against my belly flesh, head grinding into my bladder (I describe it as a pinching or a pinging, 'cause it's sharp and really should make a noise, feels like a high-pitched noise) fists punching, feet kicking. My belly did some strange stuff.

And in the morning when I walked by the mirror (naked, of course!) I gasped! The belly looked different. A bit lower. Much more like a beach ball than a thorax. Maybe she turned over and she is facing back?

That would be good.

More of the 'posed to.

How your life's changing:
"Now that your baby is taking up so much room, you may have trouble eating a normal-size meal. Smaller, more frequent meals are often easier to handle at this point. On the other hand, you may have less heartburn and have an easier time breathing when your baby starts to "drop" down into your pelvis. This process — called lightening — often happens a few weeks before labor if this is your first baby. (If you've given birth before, it probably won't happen before labor starts.) If your baby drops, you may also feel increased pressure in your lower abdomen, which may make walking increasingly uncomfortable, and you'll probably find that you have to pee even more frequently. If your baby is very low, you may feel lots of vaginal pressure and discomfort as well. Some women say it feels as though they're carrying a bowling ball between their legs!

"You might also notice that your Braxton Hicks contractions are more frequent now. Be sure to review the signs of labor with your practitioner and find out when she wants to hear from you. As a general rule, if you're full-term, your pregnancy is uncomplicated, and your water hasn't broken, she'll probably have you wait to come in until you've been having contractions that last for about a minute each, coming every five minutes for an hour. Of course, you'll want to call right away if you notice a decrease in your baby's activity or think you're leaking amniotic fluid, or if you have any vaginal bleeding, fever, a severe or persistent headache, constant abdominal pain, or vision changes."

"Even if you're enjoying an uncomplicated pregnancy, it's best to avoid flying (or any travel far from home) during your final month because you can go into labor at any time. In fact, some airlines won't let women on board who are due to deliver within 30 days of the flight."

BH contractions: Constantly!
Has she dropped? Not much.
No leaking, no bleeding, nothing persistent or painful.

So, I'm thinking, no baby til week 37 or 38. Which would be right on MY schedule. We'll see!

Preggo pants, my favorite and theirs

2009-07-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

I sent a letter to my mother and sister, praising my new comfy pants. I hoped it would inspire at least one gift. It did! Thanks, mom! Also, both sis and mom had asked me what size pants I thought I'd be in maternity wear -- I plan to go the whole damn 38 to 42 weeks without a single pair of maternity pants. Seems like a big ol' waste of money when I don't need them!

"This is the kind of thing that all my preggo friends are rocking. They are great for later in the game, and great postpartum as well. At 35/36 weeks I am not so interested in belts or zippers (can't see the damn top buttons, anyway.) Currently, I only have one pair, and will likely go back for other colors. Or find another cheapy version (Old Navy, I think has something similar.)

"Anyway: Here they are. Target, Merona, pull-on cropped pants, with a fold down waist thing (like some yoga pants) perfect to cover the belly when wearing a pre-preggo shirt.

"These are SUPER soft. Comfy. Not nearly as short on me... they make a long version as well. I bought a medium which is still quite roomy (Mary, I don't imagine you'd ever need more than a small!) And it is mostly cotton, so I can always shrink it later after I'm not quite so round.

"Other than the lovely shirts you've given me (and mom's dresses) I haven't bought any "maternity" clothes. I have hit thrift stores and clothing swaps for larger, or stretchy skirts. I have had not much luck with pants (bought some too-big-pants early on, but grew out of them by month 6, which is when I really started to show), though, so now that I need them, these are great! Of course, my low-rider jeans still fit, so aside from the button feeling funny in my belly (yes, sometimes it digs in) I have had them and leggings as pants."

My wardrobe needs are much simpler than those of many women: I work from home and it's summer in Northern California. Lucky me!

35 weeks was

2009-07-19T18:44:00.001-07:00

I neglected to post this info. Funny, the closer I get, the less interested I am in sharing the physical changes I'm experiencing with the world. I mean, if you ask me, I'll tell you. But I'm for sure spending more time on house projects or working or my taxes (oh and napping) than I am thinking about how important it is to document or share.

But it is interesting. And in the past few weeks, I know of a handful more pregnants! With them, too, though, I hope to interest them in the political aspects of midwifery and/or the history of birthing more than I am interested in telling them about my occasional leg swelling (happened during dinner on a recent hot day) or the incredible amount of food I eat (and poop out).

Yes, interesting, my body and its passenger is/are. Here's what the world says about week 35:

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight."

Kicking? Why yes! And sometimes, punching at the same time. Yay!

"How your life's changing:
Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.

"From here on out, you'll start seeing your practitioner every week. Sometime between now and 37 weeks, she'll do a vaginal and rectal culture to check for bacteria called Group B streptococci (GBS). (Don't worry — the swab is the size of a regular cotton swab, and it won't hurt at all.) GBS is usually harmless in adults, but if you have it and pass it on to your baby during birth, it can cause serious complications, such as pneumonia, meningitis, or a blood infection. Because 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women have the bacteria and don't know it, it's vital to be screened. (The bacteria come and go on their own — that's why you weren't screened earlier in pregnancy.) If you're a GBS carrier, you'll get IV antibiotics during labor, which will greatly reduce your baby's risk of infection.

"This is also a good time to create a birth plan. Using our form will help you focus on specifics — like who'll be present, what pain management techniques you want to try, and where you want your baby to stay after you deliver. It will give you a starting point to discuss your preferences with your medical team. Childbirth is unpredictable, and chances are you won't follow your plan to the letter, but thinking about your choices ahead of time — and sharing your preferences with your caregiver — should take some of the anxiety out of the process."

Let's see:
Steph: I tested negative for Strep. Which means we are a go for home birth.
Peeing: Well, yeah, but only once or twice a night. About the same as when I drink booze and then water to avoid a hangover. In fact, yeah, I'm still getting up less as a pregnant than I did as a drunk!
Birth plan: our midwives have a nice one that we can work from, so that should be easy.
Size and stuff: My uterus measures "perfect" whenever the midwives get out their measuring tape. My urine and blood pressure, the same, "perfect."

The major change for me, at this time (35 to 36 weeks) is that I'm either starving or so full the food is sitting at the bottom of my throat. And by 11 pm or midnight I have to eat another full dinner. Often consisting of two hamburgers. Of course, then I go to bed and am too full. Ah, week 35, glad you are gone.

Breast pads and other people's contractions

2009-07-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

Back in the spring or maybe even winter when I told all my friends about the whole peeing on a stick and the (to be expected?) results, a few of my closest went out and immediately bought me wonderful goodies. Or gave me useful items. (You know who you are and you KNOW how much I appreciate it!).

Elka ordered me some breast pads, made by her friend, Lucy. They are called Honeysuckles and they are adorable. Elka took great care in describing my likes (and Ross's desire to veer well away from the all-pink, all-the-time palette that haunts many a tiny human female) and these are the two wondrous pads I get to sport here in a few weeks.

So, cute! Right? Yes.
So, I bought a pair for each of my pregnants.

Kate, who had her baby Ivy Cat a few weeks ago, reports that they are GREAT during the day. But are no match for the deluge that comes at night. So, Kate, Lan, Gitta and I will all have the occasional, cute, washable and totally functional breast pad. But we're destined to use the plain-jane or disposables like most normal ladies.

This one just kills me! I think I gave it to Lan. Not sure if it's the monkey butts or the mix of monkeys and pogo sticks that does it for me.

Speaking of the pregnants.
Kate, Jason and Ivy Cat are adorable and doing well. Kate blogs and Jason posts tons of photos and videos. We fans of the new family even got updates DURING labor via text and Facebook!

Lan, Michael and Nikko are a fully realized and human family. Nikko is about 10 days old. He has his very own Facebook page. He was born with the guidance of the very same midwives we use. "A lovely home birth" is how we describe it.

Gitta and I went for a hike today. I had to stop a few times to breath. She had to stop to allow the contractions to do their thing. She is one or two days past her EDD -- but I'm thinking she's going into labor within a few days.

Kitty posted on Facebook that the contractions are starting.

I'm not jealous. Or anything. Or competitive. But I do have to say, I'm not used to being "last" at anything. Grrr. Argh.

34 weeks

2009-07-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

At this point, we're in the "all-clear" zone as far as premature labor. Which was not something I've been worried about. But it was fun to hear my brother Bo's girlfriend Tami report that she and her team of neonatial intensive care providers wouldn't even see our tiny human.

So: 34 weeks, according to BabyCenter:

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies."

So, yay! I'd rather have her come out with some fat on her tiny bones, because babies usually lose weight in the first few days until breast feeding really sticks.

And now, more about me!

"How your life's changing:
By this week, fatigue has probably set in again, though maybe not with the same coma-like intensity of your first trimester. Your tiredness is perfectly understandable, given the physical strain you're under and the restless nights of frequent pee breaks and tossing and turning, while trying to get comfortable. Now's the time to slow down and save up your energy for labor day (and beyond). If you've been sitting or lying down for a long time, don't jump up too quickly. Blood can pool in your feet and legs, causing a temporary drop in your blood pressure when you get up that can make you feel dizzy.

"If you notice itchy red bumps or welts on your belly and possibly your thighs and buttocks as well, you may have a condition called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP for short). Up to one percent of pregnant women develop PUPPP, which is harmless but can be quite uncomfortable. See your practitioner so she can make sure it's not a more serious problem, provide treatment to make you more comfortable, and refer you to a dermatologist if necessary. Also be sure to call her if you feel intense itchiness all over your body, even if you don't have a rash. It could signal a liver problem."

Fatigue: Well, I sure get tired when I get tired. I can go go go, just like before, but when I slow down, it might take me a full day to feel like going again. And, as hard as it is to admit, I embrace this. Comatose for a few hours, lots of naps, more meat eating, and then I'm back to multi-tasking.

I haven't had any of the rashes or dizzineses thus far. And I only wake up to pee once at night. And that's just habit.

The little lady, does, however, deliver the occasional quick kick to my bladder. Which feels weird. But I've yet to run to the bathroom or had to drop my drawers on a hike. I do use the "I'm pregnant and have to use the bathroom" in order to escape conversations sometimes. Like I said, I get tired...

Suggested weight gain

2009-07-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

OK, this photo is a few weeks old. But I don't think I've posted it yet. I THINK, this is from the night Ross and I went to dinner for my birthday, so that's about 3 weeks ago. Closer to 31 weeks than my current 3435 weeks.

Note: I still have definition in my legs! Thanks to all the hilly hikes I take with Spider and the pregnants. My arms, however, have long since given up the muscle tone. This week I've picked up my 10lb weight and am making my arms a bit sore with high reps, cause, c'mon! I need to have the strength to pick up the baby, baby gear (strollers aren't light when you're cheap like me.) And maybe even lug books to grad school (yes, I'm still imagining myself able to juggle new baby, recovery and my first semester at CAL for my masters in city planning. We'll see...

The last time I weighed myself, right around the time this photo was taken, I had gained 20lbs. Which was right on target.

I'm certainly not watching my weight: If I want it. I eat it. And I'm actually at a point where I eat way more than I want to, because I'm much more frequently hungry than I want to be.

Gone are the days when women were told NOT to gain too much weight, and even put on diets. Back in the day (one of the days that somehow informed much of what modern Obstetrics goes by) many a woman had a disfigured pelvis due to malnutrition and other hardships that most of the Western world's population had to deal with. The idea was that if a woman kept her weight gain down (ie: starved herself during pregnancy) she'd have a smaller baby and therefore more easily pass the baby through a disfigured pelvis.

Well, yeah. Gone, really are those days. Again, not dieting or worrying about weight gain during this whole process. I do, however, like to feel strong, even when I'm all tired and stuff. Hence the hikes and the occasional weight.

Here's what I"m supposed to gain... which seems about right. I'll put on three to five more pounds, depending on when she arrives. Sounds good to me. I think I'll have some ice cream to follow up my super eggy-french toast.

Do check out the below: I for sure have the extra poundage in my boobage (as you likely know!) AND how crazy is it to have gained POUNDS from the extra blood? Preggos make and store 50 percent of their blood volume. It makes us a bit bigger, heavier and shorter of breath. But hey, we're gonna bleed a bit in order to bring a new life outta our body(s), so the extra blood volume is very welcome.

Water weight gain: Yes, I can see and feel some slight swelling. My ankles still look like my ankles, but they are a bit bigger. Again, no complaints! Just an observation.

Pregnancy weight gain estimator

You should gain roughly 25-35 lbs. during your pregnancy.Over the last two trimesters you should gain about 4 lbs. every 4 weeks.
How it breaks down

If you gained the average of range above, this is where the weight would go (totals are rounded):
Maternal:
Uterus 2.39 lbs.
Breasts 1.0 lbs.
Blood 3.09 lbs.
Water 4.15 lbs.
Fat 8.27 lbs.
Subtotal 18.89 lbs.

Fetal:
Fetus 7.5 lbs.
Placenta 1.6 lbs.
Amniotic Fluid 1.97 lbs.
Subtotal 11.07 lbs.

Total 29.96 lbs.

Still snoring

2009-07-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

I really don't have any complaints right now.

Except that I'm snoring. And still snoring so hard, that it makes my throat sore. I woke myself up several times last night, with the snoring. And I had to get up at least twice to drink water to relieve my throat.

Also, by the time morning came, I had an icky coating in my mouth and on my throat that suggested I have once again, snored so hard that I'm making myself sick. Last week I had a horrible sore throat AND A COUGH. Part of that was recovering from the awesome four or five days of hosting family and friends. Most of that was snoring.

I mentioned to Ross this morning that I heard myself snore last night. His response:

"Sometimes, when I have the pillow wrapped around my head [to keep out the snoring!!!???] I can feel vibrations and I wonder what the hell is that? And then I remember, oh, yeah, Jen's snoring alot lately."

Me: Mortified silence. And then: laughter. "Gimme a glass of water. My throat hurts."

Photo: Me and Lan and Kitty at Kitty's shower at Kitty's bar.) Lan and I ate multiple hamburgers, cupcakes and pieces of chicken. We even signaled to the men who were hovering around the bbbq that the next round of meat was ours. Because, hey, have you seen this belly? So. Much. Meat. And a glass of wine. And more meat later. A Sol beer! Thanks for a great day, Kitty!

From fatigue to envy to consumerism saving the day?

2009-06-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

Is it better to feel baby-stuff fatigue? Or baby-stuff envy?

Last week I was freaked out by the amount of stuff we supposedly need in order to bring a baby up (and out).

But my relationship to stuff has apparently changed.

I have visited a most excellent nursery (Kate and Jason's work for Ivy Cat). I was happy to see boxes and baskets tucked into shelves. Because we will be doing the same kind of creative storage for Ginger. As well, Kate had hung very very very old baby girl clothes on the wall. Whimsical and practical, all in one room.

I checked up on Kitty and Abel's progress with their nursery: BRIGHT colors (c'mon, better by, he's Brazilian!) and jungle theme (Tullulah Flora will spend half of her time in Bahia, Brazil, so she might was well get used to the topical goodness starting as soon as she comes out!). The crib and changing table (yes, I know what a changing table looks like on sight now.) are BRIGHT WHITE. The room is wonderful.

And I heard about Micheal and Lan's first and best find for their little man: a 1940s style bassinet. Wicker! Not lead paint! (Michael had it tested. We love our dads-to-be.)

We do not have a room to turn into a nursery. We just don't. I joked, perhaps defensively, that I'm just too damn selfish to give up all my clothes/junk/books/necklaces/trinkets. And Ross said, no.

"You need an office. You have to have somewhere to work."

"Oh, yeah! I bring home the money!"

In our mini-house, we just don't have room for a baby room. Which is 100 percent fine with me. Almost always. Except when I see the awesomeness (resources: time, money, creativity) that my lady friends and baby daddies have poured into their baby spaces and baby things. Envious? Maybe, yeah. A little concerned about finances? Um, I maybe should be, but I've got savings and investments all set up for this coming year. So I don't think that's what the funny feeling is from.

Straight up jealous in a consumer/feed-me-more-material-goods kinda way? Prob'ly, for sure, ues. Cause I feel the same way when I hear about a friend buying a nice house in San Francisco. Or when I play with someone's iPod.

Time to hit Craigslist for a bassinet/crib/play pen. And maybe, just maybe, time to buy an iPod. I'm due for an upgrade at the end of August...

(Photo: Me and Micheal's father, another Michael, soon to be Grandpa. His belly is bigger than mine.)

33 weeks, but who's counting? (I totally am, at this point!)

2009-06-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

33 weeks

"How your baby's growing:
This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. She's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and her skeleton is hardening. The bones in her skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood."

I know that fellow pregnants Kate, Kitty and Lan are ready to go. Meaning:
For Kate, her due date is today! They've had their birthing pool up for weeks. She spent yesterday on the couch, in a bikini, eating fruit (it was hot in Oakland!)

For Kitty (due late July) "ready" means she and Abel finished the nursery this week, had a shower today, and got their final sono this week.

For Lan (due late July/early Aug) "ready" was yesterday, when she and Michael purchased the remaining birth goodies, ordered the birthing kit, and got all the necessities organized into bags, just like the midwives want it.

This week we'll get our goodies together, order the pool, ordered the birthing kit (yesterday!) and send out our final list of needs to friends/family who wanted to "get whatever is still needed."

"Ready?" Us? No. Not yet. But I plan to be good to go for week 36.

Back to the website's wisdom:

"How your life's changing:
As your baby fills out even more of your belly, lots of things might start to change: Whereas before you were sashaying, you may find yourself waddling. Finding an easy position to sit in — let alone sleep — is becoming more of a challenge. And bumping into chairs and counters is par for the course.

"You may be feeling some achiness and even numbness in your fingers, wrists, and hands. Like many other tissues in your body, those in your wrist can retain fluid, which can increase pressure in the carpal tunnel, a bony canal in your wrist. Nerves that run through this "tunnel" may end up pinched, creating numbness; tingling, shooting or burning pain; or a dull ache. Try wearing a splint to stabilize your wrist or propping your arm up with a pillow when you sleep. If your work requires repetitive hand movements (at a keyboard or on an assembly line, for instance), remember to stretch your hands when you take breaks — which should be frequently.

"Many women are still feeling sexy at this stage — and their partners often agree. You may need to make some adjustments, but for most women, sex during pregnancy is fine right up until their water breaks or their labor starts."

Achiness: Only after a hike or a long day out and about
Sex: Yes, please, thank you. Ross gave me a naughty book (The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty) for my birthday. I read a few pages. Bathed. Made Ross bathe and... let's just say that a while later Ross vowed to buy me the rest of the series.

Heat, fat arms and horse-like eating

2009-06-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

(Cutey photo taken at my shower/bday/dadsday/bbq on the water. We are pregnant in that order. With my due date coming in at August 10 and Kate's June 28.)

It's time to gain a pound a week. That should be easy. Because I CAN NOT seem to eat enough. Several times a day, I have to admit, I grow tired of eating. But then I dig in again, and well, I really DIG IN. And swallow. And it is good.

Last night, when Ross called to check in before he headed home (in car, mine is in the shop so no shopping for me for a few days) he asked if I needed anything.

"Yes. I need you to go to Trader Joes."

"Um. Ok. Let me write this on my hand." See, usually, I say that I don't need anything. I do pretty much all the grocery shopping, and I can just fill up on whatever it is I think I might want. But this week, I've had a sore throat (snoring!) that turned into a couch and grossness to cough up. Which has meant my usual milk proteins are still in the fridge, awaiting my gaping maw.)

"I need hamburger meat. Chicken. Fish. Bacon. Avocados. Soy milk. Peanut Butter. And, um, a Corona."

Silence.

"Hello? Can you go to the store? I'm hungry. Now."

I ate two burgers very soon after that.

So, it's been a bit hot. Less hiking and general exercising. Fatter arms. My knees seem to be disappearing. And yet, when I get dressed up (ie: put on something that shows off the boobs and belly but isn't stained and/or stretched beyond decency) I get lots of "you're gorgeous" "beautiful" "glowing" "hot" "sexy" comments. Even when I'm stuffing my face with one hand and clutching a beer in the other.

I guess it's a look that works on me.

2009-06-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

32 weeks! I plan to be 100 % ready (meaning birthing pool here, birthing kit here, stocked fridge, baby "necessities," etc. all in place!) for the little lady to come early. 36 weeks and I'll be thrilled to welcome here. Any time before that and I think I'll put my fee up, drink some wine, and tell her to hold her darn horses!

From the all-knowing website:

"How your baby's growing:
By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth."

Let's see:
Shortness of breath: Yup! The hikes are getting almost humorous.
Heartburn: Not so much, tho food does kinda come back up, sometimes. Yum!
Back pain: Not lower. Though an old stress knot is rebuilding itself in my top right back... time for a prenatal massage!
Pain during movement: Nope, but I make some funny noises when I bend over.

Still, it's all pretty fun/easy.

What the not so fortunate ladies are a'feelin'.

"How your life's changing:
To accommodate you and your baby's growing needs, your blood volume has increased 40 to 50 percent since you got pregnant. With your uterus pushing up near your diaphragm and crowding your stomach, the consequences may be shortness of breath and heartburn. To help relieve your discomfort, try sleeping propped up with pillows and eating smaller meals more often.

"You may have lower-back pain as your pregnancy advances. If you do, let your caregiver know right away, particularly if you haven't had back pain before, since it can be a sign of preterm labor.

"Assuming it's not preterm labor that's ailing you, you can probably blame your growing uterus and hormonal changes for your aching back. Your expanding uterus shifts your center of gravity and stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, changing your posture and putting a strain on your back. Hormonal changes in pregnancy loosen your joints and the ligaments that attach your pelvic bones to your spine. This can make you feel less stable and cause pain when you walk, stand, sit for long periods, roll over in bed, get out of a low chair or the tub, bend, or lift things."

So, yeah, I snore a lot lately.

2009-06-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

It's something I read about early on in the "ohmigawd I'm pregnant!?" stages. Snoring. Lots of ladies do it, a lot more and more loudly during different stages of pregnancy. At first we are more snotty (in the first trimester I woke up in the middle of the night to blow my nose, fill up a handkerchief, drink some water to take the edge of the killer, three-month thirst, fall back asleep) and later, well, when I'm out, I'm out. And I snore.

Lately, I wake myself up snoring. As I regain consciousness, I can hear the tail end of one last monster gurgling, choked monster noise, I realize my mouth is drive and my throat is sore, and I begin to cough and gasp for breath. Because I have been mouth breathing/snoring so long and so hard that my throat is so dry I can no longer effectively breath.

Sleep. Snore. Cough. Drink water. Get up and pee. Do it all again.

I've asked Ross to wake me up to make me stop snoring. He says it doesn't really bother him (something about the pitch) and then admits that it's pretty useless. I just go right back to it.

Today it hurts to swallow. Heh.

And yes, I can still sleep on my back.

In cute, hey, the baby is coming, new, the above onesie is from one of Ross's clients.

And Ross has taken a bookshelf and transformed it into a piece of baby furniture (my idea! This is my contribution to creativity: I make suggestions/demands.)

AND: I received an entire wardrobe from two lovelies in my birthing class: giraffes! stripes! bibs! Soooo cute. Must take more photos. Our little lady is already pretty outfitted with 0 to 3 months. And tomorrow is the shower.

Time to clean the corners, the dish-drain swamp-thing and maybe hang up some art. The family will be here after 3pm. Eep!

31 weeks

2009-06-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

And the weeks just keep on tickin' by. We should be ready ready ready by 36 weeks. And though my EDD (estimated due date) is August 10, I've been telling folks that she's coming in late July.

Wishful thinking? My last ditch effort to exert some control on what is about to be a newly out-of-my-control and chaotic life? Who knows. It started as as joke, and now it seems like the right thing to tell people. We'll see. I was six or so weeks early, which would be, for Ginger, coming in 3 weeks -- OK, NO. That would be too early.

Now, let's see what the experts say. From that website:

"How your baby's growing:
This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. She weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. She can turn his head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath her skin. She's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy."

--kicking: check!
--somersaults: prob'ly!
--weight: who knows how much she weighs, but at Ross's doctor's office I tipped the scales at 37 (!!!) pounds. I've never seen anything over 117, so, yeah. No wonder none of my pants or skirts with zippers, including those that I bought in March for preggo me, fit. Right on target, actually.
--kid is def. more substantial. When I bend over a bit and squish the tummy, I can feel, that yes, there are limbs in there.
--turned head: yup, says the midwives/doulas.

And as for me:
--Braxton-Hicks: oh yeah, especially at night or after any handling of the belly
--premilk: yup, it's fun to squeeze out the tip of the nipple... and this sides, where I used to have the barbells piercings. --nursing bra: this sounds like my mom/grandma territory.
--discharge (vaginal): yeah, well, it's all kinda different down there. Nothing scary or icky, just new, and changing aromas and consistencies.

"How your life's changing:
Have you noticed the muscles in your uterus tightening now and then? Many women feel these random contractions — called Braxton Hicks contractions — in the second half of pregnancy. Often lasting about 30 seconds, they're irregular, and at this point, they should be infrequent and painless. Frequent contractions, on the other hand — even those that don't hurt — may be a sign of preterm labor. Call your practitioner immediately if you have more than four contractions in an hour or any other signs of preterm labor: an increase in vaginal discharge or a change in the type of discharge (if it becomes watery, mucus-like, or bloody — even if it's pink or just tinged with blood); abdominal pain or menstrual-like cramping; an increase in pressure in the pelvic area; or low back pain, especially if you didn't have it before.

"You may have noticed some leaking of colostrum, or "premilk," from your breasts lately. If so, try tucking some nursing pads into your bra to protect your clothes. (And if not, it's certainly nothing to worry about; your breasts are making colostrum all the same, even if you don't see any.) If your current bra is too snug, you might also want to pick up a nursing bra. Choose a nursing bra at least one cup size bigger than you need now. When your milk comes in you'll be grateful for that extra room!"

Stuff

2009-06-14T21:46:00.000-07:00

I'm a little overwhelmed with the amount of "stuff" that comes with/before baby.

I spent the afternoon at Lan and Michael's baby shower. Lovely day by the pool. Four preggos in all. Snacks and booze (I had half a beer) and kids and water noodles.

And presents. So many presents. They must have 50 onesies now. Really amazingly cute onesies and shirts for sure. But holy crap, there were a lot.

Ross and I made way for the piano (deal = I get pregnant, he gets a piano) by ditching old couch, coffee table, vinyl cave/stereo stand and bookshelves. We moved my couch/bed downstairs, bought a massive IKEA shelving system to hold all his records and all of "our" books. So there's a ton more room in the living room.

By removing the sofa from my room, we'll have room for the bookshelf we are converting to clothes/toy shelves and a cushy rocking chair thing that I can squirt milk on, study or sleep in.

We have a crib, but have not set it up and a stroller in the shed. (Thanks, Tracy and Goran!)

We have a chair/massage thing, that I think I can hang on a hook when we're not using. (Thanks Mike and Carly!)

We have a car seat in my car, that needs to be de-catified. (Thanks Kate and Jason!)

And I have a box of hand-me-downs, including at least a dozen adorable pink-ish things that have never been worn. (Thanks Nicole and Piper and Sander!)

And the shower/bbq festivities are this week. I LOVE getting gifts. I love the attention. I love seeing what people "gift," make, recycle, offer, etc. And I even had fun putting together the registry and list of goodies.

But watching Michael and Lan open all the baby stuff (bouncy chair, I want! play mat with oodles of toys, so cute! etc.) made me feel, yeah, overwhelmed. And I found myself wishing I could drink more than one drink, in a row, in quick succession, maybe even on a mostly empty stomach at the bbq/shower, to better handle the fact that all these gifts mean that baby being here, on the outside of my body and demanding all these things that I have been preparing for and in no way can ever prepare for, is right around the corner.

But, rather than get loaded while pregnant in order to deal, I'll make a list of who gives what so I can send out a thank you note that includes a print of her tiny foot. Or a placenta print. Sonogram? Photo of her sleeping on Ross's belly? Photo of me in mid labor, being all cave woman and stuff? Or more likely, I'll make the list, make plans to do some creative, sweet, original arty thank you note and not. quite. get. to it. For a while, anyway, after she is born, and is here, and is amazing and alive.

And none of the stuff, that we don't get, can't afford or can't find a place for, will really matter. At all.

Head down

2009-06-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

This week we had a most excellent midwife visit.

At 31 weeks, we're getting close to the 36-week "ohmygawd we have to be ready at any moment" marker. At this week's meeting we walked around the house to consider how best to accommodate my desires and demands during labor.

As Ross and I have made tons of room in the house, it looks like there is enough room upstairs in my office/room/baby room for the birthing tub. Which is good, because I expect to labor on or near our bed (in Ross's room, also upstairs) and frequently use the bathroom (lots of laboring mammas spend time on the toilet -- yes, it's a great place to labor/push, feel the baby's head, etc -- and you have to try to pee every hour or hour and a half, so, yeah) putting to use the toilet and the hot water faucets. As our midwife of day pointed out, I won't likely want to march up and down the stairs from but to toilet to bed. So, yay on determining the location of the tub.

Now, must rent the tub, figure out how to fill the thing from one of our ancient faucets (we want to run hot water into the tub as it takes a long time to heat up cold water) and go get the tub. I have an email with info, contract etc.

This week: open email, and agree to tub rental at awesome discount.

Also, I cracked the "what we need to have on hand list" for the home birth. Lots of towels, wash clothes, oil in a squeeze bottle, crock pot to cook up a witchy mixture in which we put wash clothes after which we put on my tired, stretching skin, extra pillows and sheets and onesies and a leetle hat for her, and and and. I will put Ross in charge of getting the contents of the list into bags and ready for use.

This week I will order our birthing kit. And then I will take pictures of if. I think it comes with a net: think of going into a pet store and leaving with some gold fish. The net the attendant used to scoop out the gold fish, I think we will have one for, um, body stuff, that might find its way outta me and into the water of the birthing tub. Oh, reality...

And this week I'm all proud of the little lady, because during the actual exam part of the midwife appointment (they are here in the house for 90 minutes, we talk about the reading for that week, we ask and answer questions, we talk about how I/we feel, review baby movies we've seen, for 60 to 80 minutes. And during the exam part the ladies check my urine -- mostly for proteins = bad -- check my blood pressure -- always excellently low -- and feel up my belly to check on size, location of baby.

Baby is head down! Which they should be by 32 weeks. Go little Ginger. She did it all by herself. I was assigned cat and camel yoga postures and inversions to point her in the right direction (by opening up the space in my pelvis, she'd naturally wanna "head"in that direction) but I didn't do too many. I wanted to see if she would do it all by herself.

She did.

And now she kicks me near the ribs.

And feels like a bocce ball by the end of the day, I mean a bocce ball in between my legs. Which is just about right.

(As for the photos:
--Me: week 30 at Tennesee Trail/Beach.
--Adorable spring dress from Auntie Mary
--Ridiculously small hair brush, also from Auntie Mary (Ross wants to use it as a toothbrush. He does have a big mouth!)
--Freaking cute top from Erica, baby Piper's Dutch Grandma who is here for a month. The shirt blames the baby's birth on papa!)

Registry, feed us, make her something nice, etc.

2009-06-10T11:32:00.001-07:00

Below, behold invite and list o gifts, as requested:

Birthday, Belly and Day of the Dad and Solstice Party
Pic Nic/BBQ/Potluck
Sunday June 21, 2pm til 6 or so or whenever we're sick of it.
Miller-Knox Regional Park, Richmond
(rest of invite at bottom)

In response to folks' demands (and also owing to the fact that I am a gemini and have demands of my own, but am practicing the mom thing and am swapping out my own list in order to better prepare for the incoming little lady) below is a list of things we'd love to have before the baby gets here.

Remember, we mostly want to see you and your smiling face (and that of your friend/dog/kid). Please don't feel obligated to bring a gift! That said, we're happy to accept gifts of all sorts! Below is a registry (Target), a list of practical stuff we gotta have, fun stuff we'd be happy to have, and suggestions for folks who'd rather buy green, used etc.

Yes! We'd love it used, whatever it is. New is great too! Got a green option, go for it. Want to make something? Please do. Feel free to sign up to bring us food after the kid comes (just email me, jenloy@earthlink.net), donate to a local charity or non-profit in our names (see below), burn us a CD or gift a clipping from your yard/garden/mother's garden.

But please, don't feel obligated to purchase anything. Do come, celebrate, bring something to share and something to grill (you don't even have to share if you don't want to!)

- jen and ross
Jen: 510 290 8399
Ross: 510 847 0288

++++
Registry
(there is a long list that follows here not on registry, items found both at national websites and local retailers)

GIFT CERTIFICATES

Diapers.com
they deliver diapers, wipes, lots of other stuff

Little Raspberries
(used baby/kid stuff, new at discounts, owned by a local mom)
10400 San Pablo Ave
El Cerrito, CA 94530
(510) 526-5437

Crackerjacks: A green boutique
4 Glen Ave, Oakland, CA‎
(510) 654-884
(they carry oaklandish!!!)

Issues: mags, art books, zines

Pegasus: indie bookstore extraordinaire. We can order baby books. Buy used Kids books, etc.

Target (see registry)

Tinytots.com (for delivery of cloth diapers)

FOOD
angelcakes
Order me and Ross some cupcakes! for the shower, before the birth, after the birth!

Feed Us!
Don't want to spend money and not feeling craft. Feed the hungry mom and tired dad. Let me know if you want to sign up to deliver food (home made, canned goods, Zachary's pizza, nothing yummy and healthy turned away!). We'll have a food czar on the case for the two weeks after baby comes. If you bring food, you can see baby! Jenloy at earthlink dot net

PRACTICAL GOODIES
Diapers
Natures Babycare: size 1
or maybe a week or a month-worth of a diaper service
--80 diapers a week is suggested for a newborn: about $20

BumGenius 3.0 One-Size Cloth Diaper
Wd'd happily try these!

Organic Cotton Cloth Diapers
We'll use these for diapers, spit up rags, wipe down rags, towels, changing pads when on the go, so, the more the merrier! Available at Target, most kids/baby stores.

Diaper Genie and diaper genie refills. Used at Little Raspberres in El Cerrito or on Craigslist.

Wipes
the more natural, the better

Changing Pad
used changing pad and a cover: Little Raspberries

THE CUTE THE SILLY THE MUST-HAVES
Cute Shoes
Ridiculously cute, totally unnecessary, moccasin-like shoes that she'll wear in a few months.
Sold at Raspberries in El Cerrito
www.babyant.com/bc550386.html
www.robeez.com/EN-US/default.htm (summer sale)

Onesies or Tiny Cute Tops
(name the number)-pack from Target would be great, but so would a stack of used ones or just one fantasticly cute onesie from say:
--Lanesplitters (yes, they have a onsie)
--Issues (mag store off Piedmont)
--Does Blankspace carry a onesie ? if not a tiny cute shirt!
--21Grand tshirt (she'll grow into it! they're black!!!)
--Oaklandish

The Camo Shop or...
Something in camo (Ross's special request)
http://www.thecamoshop.com/baby-girl-camo-clothing/
Classic jungle green, please, none of that contemporary desert warfare yellow, says Ross.
(Your promotional code is: camoshop Just enter the code when you check out to receive $10.00 off your order of $25 or more)

Buy a onesie from your favorite, independent FILL IN THE BLANK. We'd love it if our little lady is a billboard for a cool, fun, independent businesses. Props for local printing or design work too!

Totally plain would be great too. We can screen print and think of you.

Hats/Caps for newborns
Do you knit, sew, staple things together? she'll need some cute things to wear on her noogin. maybe you will make one?

Baby blankets
Something nice to touch, or crazy colorful and good for "tummy time" (see, we're getting the vocab down!) Store bought, home made, the more the merrier.

Mobiles
Got cool, colorful, not toxic items that will hypnotize baby? We'd love to have mobiles that hang from the ceiling (ie above crib/napping area) or shorter ones that we can hang above her chair (mounted on a bar, affixed to chair)

A baby book
see one that is cute? have a cool book you can alter so we can use it as a baby book? we want! got an hold photo album that wants to be filled? we will hit print and have physical photos to fill those pages.

Ikea toys
um, there are some cute toys at Ikea. Really:

there are 3 rats: black, white and grey = $2.99 each (Ross says we need the whole set)

and a blue octopus $4.99 to $5.99 (kinda like a pillow)

a pink hippo too $5.99

any stuffed toys that are soft and don't have swallowable parts will make napping more comfortable and waking up more fun/safe.

Ikea storage
colorful boxes or baskets (to be put on shelves, to hold clothes so no lid is necessary)
in red or blue

or this one!

CARRIERS
Ergo Baby
With an infant insert, though we like the green or retro lining better than the vanilla colored lining.

Sling(s)
and we'll use a sling(s) until she can hold up her head. a long strip of fabric does wonders. or: moby sling (see target registry)

MAKE A DONATION IN OUR NAME TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING
www.bananasinc.org
BANANAS is a non-profit child care referral and support agency serving the diverse families in Northern Alameda County, California

Medical Students for Choice
www.ms4c.org
The United States and Canada face a dangerous shortage of trained abortion providers. In 2000, 87% of the counties in the United States had no provider (1). The “graying” of current providers (57% of whom are over the age of 50 (7), violence that targets physicians, and restrictive legislation threaten to drive these numbers even lower. In addition, medical schools are simply not addressing the topic; most physicians are graduating with little more than circumstantial knowledge of abortion.

Planned Parenthood
www.plannedparenthood.org
This fantastic organization kept me educated, safe, smart, sexy since about my 19th birthday. Thanks to their great services, I am an exuberantly pregnant lady at 35, and will be almost ready to be a mom by 36. I donate annually.

++++
Birthday, Belly and Day of the Dad and Solstice Party
Pic Nic/BBQ/Potluck
Sunday June 21, 2pm til 6 or so or whenever we're sick of it.
Miller-Knox Regional Park, Richmond

Jen (that's me) is 36 years old this week in June. She and Ross will also be 33 weeks pregnant. So, Ross is kinda a dad and Jen is kinda mom. Come bbq on the bay, swim at Keller Beach, hike with your dog in the hills, hit the kids' playground (bring a kid if you have one), bike on the paved trails, and play some lawn games.

We're still not sure about her name (though Ginger Crash seems to be sticking!), and I plan to bribe her with promises of horsies and cupcakes if she makes her appearance the last week of July, rather than stick to her EDD of Aug 10. Come play with us!

Miller Knox
A beautifully landscaped shoreline picnic area, a secluded cove with swimming beach, a fishing pier at a historic site a hilltop with excellent panoramic views of the north Bay Area and a model railroad museum - all these attractions are part of 307-acre Miller/Knox Regional Shoreline in Richmond.
www.ebparks.org/parks/miller_knox#activities

To Reach The Park
From I-580 West in Richmond, exit at Canal Boulevard. Turn left at the light onto Canal. Turn right at the light onto W. Cutting Bl., then left at the stop sign onto Garrard Bl. Proceed through the auto tunnel; Garrard becomes Dornan Drive on the south side of the auto tunnel. The park entrance will be on the right less than 1/2 mile south of the tunnel.
you can google map it (etc) Miller Knox Park, Richmond, CA

30 weeks

2009-06-06T14:50:00.000-07:00

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)"

Did you know that:
--most amniotic fluid is baby urine
--fetuses/babies swallow it and pee it right back out
--the placenta chugs away and makes more

Our nipples (all parts, from teat on out) usually get bigger and darker so that when our nearly-blind baby is born, our nips appear to be massive targets that even a nearly-blind baby can see.

How are my nipple you ask? Well, after we took out the barbells, they calmed down a bit, still on the pinker-than brown shade of things, but for sure, there is more erection, length and circumference than before I became a carrier.

And now, more from the experts who write for women with too much time on their hands and big ol' pocket books:

"How your life's changing:
You may be feeling a little tired these days, especially if you're having trouble sleeping. You might also feel clumsier than normal, which is perfectly understandable. Not only are you heavier, but the concentration of weight in your pregnant belly causes a shift in your center of gravity. Plus, thanks to hormonal changes, your ligaments are more lax, so your joints are looser, which may also contribute to your balance being a bit off. Also, this relaxation of your ligaments can actually cause your feet to spread permanently, so you may have to invest in some new shoes in a bigger size.

"Remember those mood swings you had earlier in pregnancy? The combination of uncomfortable symptoms and hormonal changes can result in a return of those emotional ups and downs. It's normal to worry about what your labor will be like or whether you'll be a good parent. But if you can't shake the blues or feel increasingly irritable or agitated, talk to your doctor or midwife. You may be among the 1 in 10 expectant women who battle depression during pregnancy. Also let your caregiver know if you're frequently nervous or anxious."

My experiences of late:
--Man, I'll be so pissed if I have to throw out all my shoes and start over. I'm really not much of a show shopper.
--I'm not so much clumsy as I am different. I have bumped into a few things/people with The Belly.
--I'm actually sleeping better than I think I ever have. Really not letting life stress me out. I wake up a lot and toss and turn, but feel rested if I've been in bed for 8 hours, not necessarily sleeping the whole time. Also, naps are good.
--Lots of action from the little lady passenger. We need to convince her to head head-down. Right now, we think her feet are down and by week 32, we want her pointed in the opposite direction. I've been assigned some inversions and cat/cow postures to open up my pelvis, kinda as a way to say, "hey, lady, look at all this room, doesn't it look comfy DOWN THERE?

And what, no comparisons to fruit or heirloom vegetables this week???

Birthing class: from bdsm to oming my way out of hell

2009-06-06T14:24:00.001-07:00

Off-beat things I've learned in my awesome birthing class:

--A good midwife or doula won't tell you about the worse-case scenario, no matter how you ask for it.

--Sitting in a room with 7 other very pregnant couples and watching the unassisted birth of twins is better when you've seen the video before, cause you can watch the vid AND watch the parents-to-be. This is especially entertaining when the second baby's foot is sticking out of the mom and the the mom says:
"What is that? Oh, that's a foot."
And dad (holding the camera) says, "Ohmigod, what can I do?"
Mom, getting ready to deliver second twin says, "Just keep filming."

And all around the living room, pregnant couples are grimacing with teary eyes and open mouths.

--I talk too much, but not nearly as much as other people.

--Ross is going to be an amazingly calm birth partner, no matter how much panic or exhaustion he feels. I can't imagine doing this without him there to hold me and pet me and massage me and support me and love me.

--The results of a healthy BDSM session might teach expectant mothers a thing or two about release and how to better embrace loss of control, but the juices such sessions produce in the loser of control might not be good for baby (might, we don't know)

--I now fear the goddess position more than a 70-hour labor. (Sit on your knees, bend your feet under you, sit on toes, rest rump on heels. Hold for the length of a contraction. Suffer and nearly die). In a recent birthing class, we all, soon-to-be moms and dads, climbed and grunted down off sofas and up out of bean bags so we could all experience an "uncomfortable" position, sans the assistance of breathing or making noise.

This friggin sucked for me. I blame it on my 30 years of soccer, running, hiking, etc. and my very tight leg muscles. I couldn't even get my ass all the way down. And WOW did it hurt my feet. I panted and sweat and watched the iphone on the ground and helped count the seconds. It was VERY hard to keep quiet during the pose.

Round two: we were allowed and encouraged to "breath" deep tummy/yoga breaths, and exhale into OMS -- cause it's best to avoid the high-pitched screaming we might want to indulge in during, say, labor. High-pitched wailing/etc. tightens muscles, adds to the "oh my god it's time for flight/fight) and generally makes pain LESS-bearable.

Now, deep "oms," animal/mommy groaning and moaning, well, that opens us up from pelvis to throat, and can significantly reduce the, um, "discomfort" of labor pains. Or the shooting horror of the goddess position.

I OMed and did some better breathing. And would much prefer to go into labor that sit on my poor, unbendable feet ever again.

(Hell is that damned yoga pose. And the pic of of the pirate hooker waitress at a family (!!!) Mexican restaurant in Suison, up near Tracy and Goran's house.

Butternut squash and skeletal growth

2009-05-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

So, yeah. Here's the facts from BabyCenter

How she's growing:
"Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Her muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and her head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet her increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because her bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day."

And then there's the below, which so far just does not apply to me:
--no heartburn, but when I'm full (it takes liquid to achieve this delightful effect), the little flap that should keep my food out of my throat and further down my digestive tract is not flapped closed, so I can bend over, hike up a hill, or roll over in bed and announce: "ew, tastes like I just threw up a little in my mouth." But, no burning!
--no hemorrhoids, yet...
--constipation has not returned. I'm all regular and happy about it! (But, um, the poo is stinky in a new way. From the fish oil supplements?)
--I can still sleep or kick it on my back
--Dizzy everyonce in a while. It passes, so, no big.
--Boobs! Still got 'em. Still lovin' 'em. New addition to boobage area: big blue veins after a bath or a hike. And every once in a while the left, sorry, my left boob (they're so darn big I sometimes forget they're mine!) aches a bit. I think it's cause they're busy getting ready for baby. Cool!
--She/Ginger Crash/Kahli/August/yeah, we don't know yet kicks a lot! And maybe punches. It's still cute and not yet uncomfortable. So, more yay!

How the experts say my life should be changing:
"Your baby's very active now. Your practitioner may ask you to spend some time each day counting kicks and will give you specific instructions on how to do this. Let her know if you ever notice a decrease in activity. You may need a nonstress test or biophysical profile to check on your baby's condition.

"Some old friends — heartburn and constipation — may take center stage now. The pregnancy hormone progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, including your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation, coupled with the crowding in your abdomen, slows digestion, which in turn can cause gas and heartburn — especially after a big meal — and contribute to constipation as well.

"Your growing uterus may also be contributing to hemorrhoids. These swollen blood vessels in your rectal area are common during pregnancy and usually clear up in the weeks after giving birth. If they're itchy or painful, try soaking in a sitz bath or applying cold compresses medicated with witch hazel to the affected area. Also avoid sitting or standing for long stretches. Talk with your practitioner before using any over-the counter remedies during pregnancy, and let her know if you have any rectal bleeding. To prevent constipation, eat a high-fiber diet, drink plenty of water, and get some regular exercise.

"Some women get something called "supine hypotensive syndrome" during pregnancy, where laying flat on your back causes a change in heart rate and blood pressure that makes you feel dizzy until you change position. You might note that you feel lightheaded if you stand up too quickly, too. To avoid "the spins" lie on your side rather than your back, and move slowly as you go from lying down to sitting and then standing."

This week in cravings

2009-05-31T18:27:00.000-07:00

I am right now pounding a whole milk, peanut butter, banana, ice shake/smoothie. Yum! Happily settling into week 29, I am resting a tiny bit more, craving less fruit, less sweets and stuffing myself with protein and fat. Sometimes it's cause I'm craving it (like this here milky goodness) and sometimes it's just because.

I'm supposed to. Eat a TON of protein and fat and calcium-rich foods during this trimester. Tiny human is making bones right now. And she'll take all the calcium I've got. I'm happy to share with her, but I figure consuming calcium (in my leafy greens and mostly milk products) is a good idea.

Fats: well, we gotta have them. Me and the little lady. Lots of avocado, cheese, coconut oil rather than vegetable or olive oil. Lots of meats and cheeses. And chocolate, cause why not!

In this week's reading queue:
The Doula Advantage
The Vaccine Guide

After only a few dozen pages into The Doula Advantage, I was convinced that working with a doula is for me and Ross. This week I will begin to interview and get to know potential doulas. I want my, hopefully, at home birth experience to go as smoothly as possible. I want to work well with Ross without jeopardizing my ability to 100 percent rely on him. As well, I don't want to be in a freaking panic by the time the midwives arrive. And, I want an expert on hand to pamper, massage, feed, water, clean etc. me throughout. Yup, a doula is for me!

And then there was happiness

2009-05-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

Halle-friggin-lujah. The days-long frustration ended. It was for sure related to changes that I should expect and welcome and all that jazz. But as well, life, was, frustrating. For more than a minute. As life is likely to be. Mixing frustration with new hormones meant the dog's life was in danger. (See previous posts.)

But really, that is in the past. And spider is still alive. And cute as ever. Spider might even be cuter than ever, in fact, because Monday he demonstrated that he is fully over being afraid of/aggressive towards Charile (Nicole and Sanders' wonderful 7 year old.) At the annual Pt. Richmond massive yard sale extravaganza, Spider barked at a few folks, as per usual, but as soon as he saw Charlie, he headed right over and made with the nice. They hung out in town, and at home, while the boys bbq'd.

It was almost cute enough for me to rethink his upcoming operation. But really, really, he's not using his nuts. So he can live without them. Right?

Also, at said bbq, he was less than 100 percent accepting of baby Piper. Who really likes to crawl quickly towards him, and kinda screams in delight whenever she sees him, and is then crawling towards him. Spider barks, and eventually runs away. Which is good. Because we don't want him to eat/bite/scar the baby.

This week I've let myself sleep in til 10 twice(!), but consequently, missed out on a hike with the dog. Which I find compromises my mood a bit too much. Today, I was on the hill hike even before coffee. Then dishes, meatballs by Ross, and work. The hike, and a well-walked dog are integral to my mood-management. But then, this is nothing new.

Also, I downloaded a photo or two from a recent sushi date-night. And I'll be damned, but, hey, look at that, I'm still cute! Also good for mood-maintenance!

28 weeks = a whole new third

2009-05-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

Rather than rant about my grumpiness (which does nothing to relieve the grumpi-stabbiness I feel today/yesterday, I will now share with you what the weekly website update says about my wunderbar baby.

"How she's growing:
By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world."

And for the below, looks like I'll continue to pork up (which is fine, cause I have no problem eating everything in sight, apparently) and my legs will continue to act as if they were attached to, well, somebody's body that is not mine.

On the happy-joy-joy side of things: Had a lovely visit with one of our midwives. Had a fun birthing class. Enjoyed a delish dinner with friends w/ child and arrived home with a breast pump, new book to read and a baby bed/massager thing. But more on that when I feel like smiling, or being at all pleasant or complimentary.

"How your life's changing:
You're in the home stretch! The third and final trimester starts this week. If you're like most women, you'll gain about 11 pounds this trimester.

"At this point, you'll likely visit your doctor or midwife every two weeks. Then, at 36 weeks, you'll switch to weekly visits. Depending on your risk factors, your practitioner may recommend repeating blood tests for HIV and syphilis now, as well as doing cultures for chlamydia and gonorrhea, to be certain of your status before delivery. Also, if your glucose screening test result was high and you haven't yet had follow-up testing, you'll soon be given the 3-hour glucose tolerance test. And if the blood work done at your first prenatal visit showed that you're Rh negative, you'll get an injection of Rh immunoglobulin to prevent your body from developing antibodies that could attack your baby's blood. (If your baby is Rh positive, you'll receive another shot of Rh immunoglobulin after you give birth.)

"Around this time, some women feel an unpleasant "creepy-crawly" sensation in their lower legs and an irresistible urge to move them while trying to relax or sleep. If this sensation is at least temporarily relieved when you move, you may have what's known as restless legs syndrome (RLS). No one knows for sure what causes RLS, but it's relatively common among expectant mothers. Try stretching or massaging your legs, and cut down on caffeine, which can make the symptoms worse. Ask your caregiver if you should try iron supplements, which can sometimes relieve RLS."

Today is grr

2009-05-24T17:53:00.001-07:00

So, this is hormones? Frustration way beyond what ordering a washer and dryer should cause. And WAY beyond what an afternoon cup of coffee should fuel. And later tears. And today the same: frustration. While on my hike! Glad I didn't kill the dog. It was tempting.

Then, as the GRRR coursed through my veins I recalled with our birthing class instructor mentioned at our a recent class: Gots to counter those stress/anger juices with some good old oxy.

"I want you to look down at your belly. Think about your baby. Rub your belly. Now, say aloud to your baby, "I love you." And yeah, she's right, flood of oxy-happy hormone.

"I want you to bathe your babies with love."

OK. Tried that, on the hike = flood, of near tears.

So, then I realized, indeed, this is, these are, hormones. What did not cure the grumpy, frustrated, angry, tired new me:
--a nap
--getting stuff done
--a hike
--masturbating
--ice cream
--friggin anything, nothing cured my ills

My neck hurts.

And Grr.

Welcome to the third trimester. Fuck.

Put the wand down, and walk away

2009-05-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

So, I can sleep in these days, if I want. But I don't always want. Today, I shouldda. Couldda. Kinda did. Is this what it's like to be a lady of leisure? I always thought there would be more champagne.

Earlier this week (2nd trimester, remember), I was up at 7 am and on the hill hike by 8 or 9. Waking up with yogurt and banana, a cup of coffee and a hike was great! Back home for second breakfast with the boy by 10. But I over did the whole damn thing Wednesday, with a hike, office workday, writing AND a a social event.

The social event was great! Six pregnant ladies, a lot of mom-tails, a few partners/husbands, 1 sister, my glass of wine, Kate's beer, Ross's tequila and Kitty's bar (Kitty and husband Abel took turns DJing.) It was a gorgeous night. Boobs and bellies were out.

By the time I got home, I could barely keep my eyes open. And I had a mean, huge, pulsing blister on the bottom of my heel! So: tired, limping pregnant lady, barely able to climb the stairs. Oh joy.

And Thursday I was tired. I toned down the amount of office work, and had to stick to the flats for the hike.

Friday: baby sitting Piper from 10ish to 2ish was GREAT. And afterwards I napped for 2 hours. Two solid hours. (Piper is Nicole's little 9-month-old lady)

Today: My alarm went off at 7. I turned it off til 8. There may have been sex, I can't remember right now. Plans to hit the hill by 9 were scrapped in favor of more food. Back to bed by 11!

How many times can a pregnant lady masturbate before noon? Well, I have a pretty good idea. And the number seems to be rising. Along with my electricity bill...

Ross once asked me if I would always remember to leave enough sensitivity for him... ulp. Time to get to work. Or get out of the house.

I did write a story for work so far. Too. And I will hike, after 6, when it cools down (veins and dog will appreciate the wait), but I wonder, is this what boredom feels like? Kinda like, "Hmm, well, I guess I'll go masturbate." Guess I better enjoy it while I can.

This week: we make room for a crib. And a piano.

91 days to go, or so it says

2009-05-15T21:36:00.000-07:00

But that was last week. This week, we're talking cauliflower and hiccups.

Not sure if they are hiccups or karate chops, but the little lady has been MIGHTY mobile this week. I know that for myself and the other pregnants (Kitty and Lan) we still think it's all cute and wow! to feel the kicks/chops. But moms, and preggos who are farther along feel otherwise. Or seem to. They are all good at biting their tongues and smiling and saying "I remember when I first felt (insert name here) kick!" but the stories leak out. On facebook, on blogs, after a few drinks: Aliens, human feet visible through your bulging skin, bladder kicks... oh boy.

So: Yes: 27 Weeks. Kicks are still cute.
"This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle."

See, still cute, even the BabyCenter says so.

How life and bod are a-changin':
The second trimester is drawing to a close, but as your body gears up for the final lap, you may start noticing some new symptoms. Along with an aching back, for example, you may find that your leg muscles cramp up now and then. They're carrying extra weight, after all, and your expanding uterus is putting pressure on the veins that return blood from your legs to your heart as well as on the nerves leading from your trunk to your legs. Unfortunately, the cramps may get worse as your pregnancy progresses. Leg cramps are more common at night but can also happen during the day. When a cramp strikes, stretching the calf muscle should give you some relief. Straighten your leg and then gently flex your toes back toward your shin. Walking for a few minutes or massaging your calf sometimes helps, too.

"It may be the furthest thing from your mind right now, but it's not too soon to think about family planning. You'll want to have made some decisions about postpartum birth control before your baby arrives. If you're considering a tubal ligation, be aware that most states require you to sign a consent form at least 30 days beforehand. So if you'd like the option of having the surgery during your postpartum hospital stay, don't wait too much longer to discuss it with your caregiver. (You can still change your mind later.)"

No leg cramps for many months. But Nicole suggested banana and milk shakes before bed. Sounds yummy. I'm on one shake a day lately. I need more bananas! And time for whole, unpasteurized milk!

The way she/we were: 26 weeks

2009-05-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

Last week was the last week of my first ever graduate-level city planning class. I turned in my paper. I gave a presentation (and kinda still pretended not to be pregnant!)

Last week I was 26 weeks pregnant. Below, deets from the emails that come to my inbox from BabyCenter.

"How your baby's growing:
"The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other. She's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of her lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when she's born and takes that first gulp of air. And she's continuing to put on baby fat. He now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber) from head to heel. If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take about two to three days."

Ross has been talking to the belly a lot lately. Or, rather, INTO the belly. He asks her a lot of questions. And then hums or sings. It tickle. And it's funny to me that he's doing this more and more as her ears are developing more and more. Really, it's that the belly is more and more... so, yeah, why not talk to it, into it. Whatevs.

And now, for me! or what my bod could/should be dealing with:

"How your life's changing:
Are you rushing around trying to get to childbirth classes and prepare your baby's room while still taking care of all your other daily tasks? Make sure that you also continue to eat well and get plenty of rest. Around this time, your blood pressure may be increasing slightly, although it's probably still lower than it was before you got pregnant. (Typically, blood pressure falls toward the end of the first trimester, and it tends to reach a low at about 22 to 24 weeks.)"

As for the below
--No lower back pain yet
--I am sleeping with a leg cocked up on a pile of blankets when I'm on my side.
--But I still don't feel the need to avoid sleeping on my back.
--Legs and feet do get sore, though, from walking on cement in mid day, if it's warm.
--I think I'm kinda done with bikram for a while. I want to swim when it's warm now...

"If your lower back seems a little achy lately, you can thank both your growing uterus — which shifts your center of gravity, stretches out and weakens your abdominal muscles, and may be pressing on a nerve — as well as hormonal changes that loosen your joints and ligaments. Plus, the extra weight you're carrying means more work for your muscles and increased stress on your joints, which is why you may feel worse at the end of the day. Walking, standing, or sitting for long periods, as well as bending and lifting can all put a strain on your back. A warm bath or hot compress might bring relief. (Some women, though, find cool compresses more comforting.) Try to maintain good posture during the day, avoid activities that require bending and twisting at the same time, take frequent breaks when sitting or standing, and sleep on your side with one or both knees bent with a pillow between your legs, using another pillow (or wedge) to support your abdomen."

Kate's baby stuff list = v. helpful

2009-05-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

Totally stealing the below from Kate's awesome preggo blog. Tips, suggestions, etc. I need to post my take on all this baby stuff... and i will. when I have a take on ALL THIS baby STUFF.

I'm fairly certain that I have an infant carseat, playpen and crib in hand-me-down form. As well, a simple stroller. I know I want a basic sling (maybe $5 in fabric to wrap around me/Ross and the kid), but suggestions about carriers ('cause 1 sling will not be enough!) and things like a SECOND pad for the bed and pads for the crib is AWESOME advice.

Not sure I'm the kinda mom that will have a special blanket, mobile with colorful dangly things that goes with the blanket for "tummy time" — my house is not getting any bigger even if my belly and my family are!

Still, I sense a list of what I "need," and it's a growin'. Like the belly!

Thanks for sharing, Kate!
++++
From Kate:
Last month I posted the first half of the baby tips that I received from various wise mamas after I sent out a call for suggestions as to what we might actually need during the first year vs. what we probably won't need/use/like. The responses were awesome and varied and I compiled them, w/ links, to share with others...Enjoy

BOOB n BOTTLE
• If you plan to breast feed La Leche League was a big help to me. There's someone in every area!
• I got one of these so I didn't have to say the word 'boppy'. Plus it’s bigger and smooshier:
• We use Born Free bottles and think they're great.
• 'My Breast Friend' was definitely not a friend, and a huge waste of $.
• Get a Boppy. But make sure it is the naked Boppy and buy a few slipcovers. Trust me on this one.
• Flat cloth diapers to use as burp cloths.
• A night bra. So much more comfortable than wearing a regular bra to bed and it will hold your breast pads in place in case the baby decides to sleep through a feeding and your body doesn't.
• I basically lived in Glamourmom nursing bra tanks for a couple years.
• Breast pads. For me, the only ones that worked were the Lansinoh.
• My Ameda Purely Yours breastpump worked great with all three kids. It was a huge relief at times. It is also less expensive than the Medela version.
• If you need a pump, I like my Pump In Style (and I got a used one from a friend that works just fine).
• I’ve heard great things about the Ameda pump. The Lansinoh double electric is the exact same pump, different name, and is sometimes available cheaper. I will say that if you have any supply issues (which I do), you'll want to start out with a hospital grade rental and then get a pump in style- they're just stronger. If you don't have any issues, the Ameda/Lansinoh should be fine, and is definitely cheaper.
• If you need milk bags, Lansinoh are the best- no leaks.
• Lansinoh ointment: start rubbing it on your nipples a couple weeks *before* the baby is born, to get them ready. And apply it every time the baby nurses in the beginning, to keep nipples from cracking.

BOOKS
• I found the askdrsears website a real help. The Sears family has a whole arsenal of books, but the site is really comprehensive. I’m definitely not an attachment parenting nazi and I know it doesn't work for everyone. Some people can find their tone really chastening and the advice impractical. But Evie was a tough baby and I found their council really affirming.
• The only book I would recommend buying (versus getting from your library) is Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting. In the strange ways that parenting a child can feel like parenting yourself from time to time, I found this book intensely therapeutic.
• I recommend the book Super Baby Food for when you start introducing solids.
• Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Spiritual Midwifery

CARRIERS
• Moby Wrap for under 6 months, Ergo carrier for over 6 months
• When the baby gets a little bigger, a backpack style carrier, like the Ergo is great for hiking, errands, walks, traveling -- we schlepped Bee around SE Asia in the Ergo. I can't recommend it enough.
• We went right from the Ergo carrier (which I LOVE and can't recommend enough) to the bike trailer.
• Ocean is six months, and we've never used her stroller. We wear her everywhere. I love my babyhawk (and they come in rad prints), but I’ve also heard great things about the Beco, which seems like it is easier for putting on/off while on the go.
• Evie pretty much lived in her sling for the first 6 months. Ours was a gift called the Peanut Shell.
• Peanut shell slings. Some babies like to be upright (a la moby/babyhawk) but Amelia was more of a "cradle hold" kind of kid.
• We couldn't live without our Baby Bjorn, we loved wearing Bradley. It was the most comfortable way to carry him, and kept him the most content.
• We have the Baby Bjorn and I love it. It took our son a little while to get used to it, but we used it a lot.
• I do not recommend the Baby Bjorn -- it's just not comfortable once the baby puts on a few pounds!
• There are about ten million different types of baby carriers, and everyone likes a different one. I tried and returned a couple slings before finding the one that worked for me. Whatever you choose, having some kind of easy-to-use carrier is essential. It takes the weight off your arms if you're just carrying the baby around the house or on a walk. You can use it to hold the baby while you're out to dinner (our babies were generally happier sleeping in the sling close to mom or dad than sitting in the carseat). You can use it to carry the baby around at the grocery store, instead of lugging an infant car seat around. When both of ours were little babies, we used a simple, adjustable sling made of a cotton mesh material -- very cool and breathable and a great cover-up for nursing to boot.

CAR SEATS
• Get an infant car seat hand-me-down (or craigslist) and splurge on the convertible car seat (Britax is rad).
• Britax Roundabout Convertible car seat - we skipped the cost of the infant car seat that the baby outgrows in 6 months and hurts your back along the way.
• Carseat-wise, Britax are the best. Get a new one, unless you're sure of its pedigree.
• We didn’t use the infant carseat and snap-and-go stroller. We just carried her everywhere in a sling or the babyhawk. You can put them right into a Britax from birth. If I did it over, I’d skip the infant carseat. But, many people swear by them.
• A good infant car seat that snaps in and out of the base if you plan on driving.

CHAIRS + SWINGS
• Bouncy seat. A great place for naps, or putting the baby down while you shower, or for elevated sleeping if the baby is congested. Hell, it wouldn't hurt to have a couple (we kept one inside and one on our deck).
• A bouncy chair or swing. Borrow or get used, if possible, because some babies love the bouncer, and some love the swing.
• The bouncy chair was the only place she'd sleep for several months, aside from our laps. And, it's small and lightweight, so you can carry it into the bathroom to take a shower.
• She had no interest in the big schmancy swing i got, so I’m glad I bought it (and then resold it) on craigslist.
• Bouncer: We got a cheapo one from Target. Sometimes it was the only thing that he would sit in that would allow me to take a shower (I would bring it in the bathroom with me so I could hear him and check on him).
• I would find an inexpensive swing, or borrow one, until you see if your kid likes the swing. Our son did not like it at all.
• V *lived* in this thing for the first 6 months. She loved it.
• If you have a grandparent, uncle, benefactor, etc., wanting to buy you a big-ticket item, we love our Svan high chair. So attractive, and it grows to become a full size chair!
• I like this booster seat, because it is portable, and because it attaches to any chair you don't have to have a separate high chair

CLOTHING
• Clothes in the newborn size, not just 0-3 months, which tends to be too big for a newborn. If I could do it again, I'd buy fewer, but higher quality (soft, organic cotton) newborn clothes, rather than a ton of cheapo stuff. Because of all the spit up, I was doing laundry daily anyway, so I didn't really need 30 onesies.
• Note that you'll want to wash spit-up clothes in COLD water -- warm/hot water sets milk/barf stains.
• Sleeper pajamas and/or a sleep sack.
• Clothing items: Our son lived in onesies and sweat pants for the first few months of his life.
• I highly recommend getting sleepers that have zippers, not snaps, as it will take a lot less time to change the baby's diaper at 2am.

DIAPERS
• Easiest cloth dipes ever
• Cloth diapers. we use the Bum Genius one size pocket dipes. Super easy, and I was NOT planning on cloth diapering.
• We've used cloth diapers the whole time and it's easy. We also never used a diaper service ... just had a diaper pail filled with water and a natural anti-bacterial, soaked the poopers in the toilet, etc. we got all our stuff from www.babyworks.com, in Portland. They ship, but I’m sure there's a diaper shop near you too.
• Get a diaper bag that's comfy to carry. I actually recommend a backpack with good shoulder support, rather than something marketed as a diaper bag. Not as pretty, but better for schlepping around.
• Definitely buy a backpack instead of the one-shoulder diaper bags. It is unisex and is a whole lot easier to tote around.
• A few folks told me I couldn't possibly live with out a diaper bag, so I kind of ponied up on a nice one. I never used it ... always just found myself tucking diapers into a backpack or the bike trailer.
• Diaper cream that is 40% zinc oxide -- not the "creamy" stuff that is only 10% (it's not effective!).
• Bay Area diaper services: www.tinytots.com or http://www.tideedidee.net/

SLEEPIN’
• The co-sleeper. Don’t bother. We ended up using ours as a place to dump the laundry. She just sleeps in our bed. We do have a crib we use for naps, but we just got it a few weeks ago, and you can get away without one for quite awhile.
• I tried a co-sleeper with Bee and didn't like it at all. It's not easy to pick up a baby while lying down, or sitting, or kneeling, in bed, which is what you have to do with the co-sleeper, unless you get out of bed (which, with the co-sleeper, involves scooting down to the bottom of the bed). Also, the co-sleeper makes making the bed hard, and when you're sleeping you may worry about your covers getting in there, and it's a pain to assemble, I could go on and on.
• As for sleeping arrangements, we found that the playpens that also have attachments to become a bassinet work great. They transform and last until the baby figures out how to escape (this was almost 2 for us) and you can bring them with you on trips.
• We loved Happiest Baby on the Block, and "SSHHHsh"-ing was very helpful in the early months to help him get to sleep.
• We bought a co-sleeper, crib, and a Pack n' Play. The Pack n' Play was useful after 6 months, but the co-sleeper got NO use, and the crib is just finally getting some use. We ended up having him in our bed until about 2 months ago, because that just felt most comfortable for us...but everyone feels differently on this, so do what works for you. :)
• Do you have a pad under your sheets and above your mattress? The kind that would absorb...say...spills or other effluvia? The big insight that I have gained after two babies is that I should have owned TWO of those, because there were several nights when the bed was stripped not once but twice (mostly barf) and boy oh boy would that have been nice...because if you get it the second time and you don't have the pad on, you are doomed
• I DID get Zach something along those lines which I am in love with...an organic wool puddle pad...ahhh. It cost an arm and a leg (like one hundred freaking dollars for a twin bed) BUT it catches the pee, is really soft for under the sheets, and has made midnight bed changes easier. I was convinced by people smarter than me that this was a good place to spend money and they were right.
• Somebody mentioned multiple bed pads for when the baby spits up in your bed in the night. OMG YES. I spent so many nights with Finney changing out the sheets and scrubbing the mattress.
• Get a snap-on top layer that goes over the crib sheet (for all the messes baby makes in bed... changing the whole crib sheet is a pain)

STROLLERS

We are getting the City Mini

• Wait until baby is here to pick out a stroller. Then you'll have a better idea of what you want/need.
• You won't need it for a good while, but a lightweight folding stroller like the McLaren Volo is great.
• Stroller: I loved our travel system. We got the Graco Quattro Tour travel system; it has the stroller, infant carrier and the base for the car seat. I loved having the carrier and used it until he was almost 9 months old. It was so nice to be able to go somewhere and not have to wake him up if he was sleeping. We still use the stroller to this day and our son is 2 years old. We just bought the Graco Duo Glider for when baby number 2 arrives, it is compatible with the infant carrier

SWADDLING
• These are really great for swaddling
• Swaddling with a good swaddle blanket is also very key! We had good luck with Swaddle Designs Ultimate Receiving Blanket & the Kiddopotomus Swaddlers. I highly recommend getting some practice swaddling a live baby before you deliver. It's tricky
• Oh and the SwaddleMe thingies with the velcro fasteners, so helpful! We could never recreate the secure swaddles like the folks at the hospital without the magic of velcro
THINGS RELATED TO ACTIVITY
• A play mat, like this, is SO great for when the baby starts trying to grab stuff
• Floor mat: Tummy time is a big thing for babies to start them working on their upper body strength. We bought a really cheap one and it was horrible. Look for something that has toys, mirrors, etc. so the kid has lots of things to look at.
• When the baby is a little older, older than 4 months, I would look into getting an exersaucer or jumperoo. We had the Rainforest Jumperoo and our son LOVED it!

Also, I have more pics from mexico

2009-05-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

In which I might just look like a beached whale.

Or a lady with a beer belly. Or maybe a pregnant lady. My dear friend Natalie snapped a gazillion photos. In them it is clear that I have very blue eyes. And that Ross is goofy. And that I look very different in a bikini, now as compared to some other now.

On a hike today with two other pregnants, I complained about my upper arms. "Where did the muscle tone go?" They agreed: hard to keep the biceps buff when we've had to adjust so many of our exercise routines/practices. Also, push-ups with a belly that:
1. hits the floor
2. weighs 10 to 15 lbs, AND yanks one's back into a horseshoe shape

= not as easy or fun or effective as we want.

This week: back to yoga? Weights for sure!

For the moms of me and Ross

2009-05-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

I wrote a leetle story. And posted some photos for the moms/soon to be grandmoms. So far:
--my mom "loved" it, said so four times in her email back to me
--Ross read the note, "it almost made me cry"
--my response: "If my intention had been to make YOU cry, you would have."

Care to see the photos:
http://gallery.me.com/jensloy/100361

Care to read the story:

Moms: here's a little story to read when you are looking at the photos we arranged for you two.

Ross Kennedy and Jen Loy met in the backyard of Mama Buzz Cafe four years ago. They fell in love. Soon, Jen sold her cafe, bought a mini house* and they moved in together. Ross and Jen lived a very fun and carefree life. They went camping together, explored the Bay Area, got dressed up for big events and even did things on their own, like play music or go out with the girls.

But last November, Jen looked at Ross and said: "Remember that thing we talked about maybe doing someday? Can we do it NOW?!?" Also, she said, "I love you!"

Ross, being a rather intelligent (and handsome!) red-blooded male but one who is smart enough not to get in between a woman in her 30s and her hormones, smiled and said "Huh? Um. OK." and "I love you, too!"

A few weeks later Jen had to buy a new bra. Ross and Jen paid a doctor a lot of money so a nurse could show them that yes, a tiny human girl was growing inside of Jen. Jen thinks she (the tiny one) looks just like Ross. Ross says all babies look like him (round cheeks, no hair).

Now Jen and Ross are getting ready to get ready for the (less and less) tiny human girl to make her appearance. They haven't given up on the dog, Spider, but they think there is room in their mini house for the tiny human girl.

Jen takes a handful of vitamins everyday. Ross bought a brand-new piece of foam for their mattress (Jen sneezes a lot). Jen is also staying in shape! She goes on hikes with her friends (who are also growing tiny humans).

But Jen and Ross haven't changed that much. They still have fun with each other and their friends. They went to Mexico for a friend's wedding. Jen liked dressing up and showing off her belly. Ross liked playing around on the beach. Jen drank mom-tails and wore her mother's fancy dress from the 1980s for the wedding. Ross thought the wedding was fun, and maybe a little silly, just like him. The wedding singers thought Ross and Jen were very cute and dedicated a song to them and their tiny human.

Back in California (they are not responsible from bringing the Swine Flu to the United States, Virginia!) Jen felt very pretty, with her tan belly and new bra (yes, she had to buy yet another bra, this one with under wire! which was very exciting for everyone involved.) Ross pretends not to like the color pink, but Jen thinks he'll get over it, because they are collecting some very cute clothes for their tiny human.

This month, Ross and Jen have to make room for a crib. But not today. Today is Mother's Day. And they are busy thinking about how cool it is that Jen is kindasorta already a mom, and how they hope that their moms are having a very, very, very good day.

Happy Mother's Day!
-- luv Jen and Ross.

* photos of house and yard and few fun pieces of Ross's work here: www.flickr.com/photos/17678293@N07/1858149441/in/photostream/

Healthy as a horse, and well-fed (in vits)

2009-05-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

When the midwives do their house visit, they always take my blood pressure (perfect!) and check out my pee.

They gave me a fancy-dancy pee cup at our first real-deal meeting and I drink my trough-water/pregnancy tea and fill the cup up while they're here. (Perfect! And always well-hydrated!)

But even with all this recurring perfection, I take a handful of vits each day.
Happy belly/probiotics: same as the above
VitC: pretty much, same as above, tho no more than twice a day for now
Cranberry: am and pm, maybe mid-day as well. Because a lab reported back that I have a high-concentration of the bacteria that cause GTIs. While preggo, I might not notice as an infection takes hold.
Iron: my blood draw clocked my iron on the low side of OK. And during pregnancy, because my body is making MORE blood, the iron/blood ratio is likely to go down. As well, my mother was a bleeder at her births, so we want me to be prepared and fully ironed-up = one a day
omega 3/fish oil: three a day. for her brain! and my shiny coat.
prenatal vits: the obvious, one a day. all this good stuff supplements this guy.

(The above photo is my nightly swallow. Which takes two swallows, actually.)

Birthing pools and bellies - next week

2009-05-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

I've been a bit busy since we got back from Mexico. I found out for certain that I got into UC Berkeley's Department of City and Regional Planning masters program. Which is RAD!!! And I'll deal with the date conflict later (EDD: August 10. Fist day of classes: August 24).

In preparation for the master's program, I enrolled in a graduate level planning class for the spring semester. Which is coming to an end, hence, term paper time! Which has been fun. And challenging and takes priority over writing about anything else.

But Ross and I have made time for baby/birthing films (gentle and water births of late) and Ross really wants us to get a birthing pool. Awakenings lists rental sources, which is awesome. And makes it easy.

I originally thought the tub would be enough, but Ross has informed me that he really wants to be able to get in with me, if/when I want him. Which is sweet (!) and forward thinking of him, really.

Part of me is worried about the expense and the inconvenience... you rent for two weeks before and two weeks after your EDD. We'd have it in the living room! Which is tiny. And we've yet to get the bikes out of it. Hmm, sounds like I need to prioritize a bit, yes?

Oh, wait, that's for next week! I finish my paper this week. And fully embrace the belly and all that comes with it (new couch? a friggin' TV? pool rental) after my deadline.

Please support me in my last weeks of absolute control over my priorities! Thank you.

Also, I have mentioned before that I have cleavage, behold:

Rutabaga, really?

2009-05-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

25 weeks: How your baby's growing
"Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture."

What does a rutabaga look like (also, I think I love that word. And now I know how to spell it. RUTABAGA. Oh, it's a turnip. OK. Well, that was a little disappointing. But that's OK.

Also, any child of mine will be born bald. At least this is what my mother has led me to believe, 'cause, I (lucky me) not only came out bald, but, yes according to my mother (who can spin the yarns!) I was bald 'til kindergarten.

And oh! We had a home visit from one of our lovely ladies of Awakenings Birth Services and she shared with us the first time she saw a pretty much bald kid come out.

Ross and I had been watching "gentle birth" and water birth films, and we were both intrigued and relieved to see more samples of natural birth.

Me: "I liked that in this selection of footage the music didn't start up as soon as the head comes out. I liked that we got to hear the ladies say things at this point like: 'AHHHH!!! It burns!!!' and 'Can't I be done yet?'
(Nicole, in a later conversation while on a walk: "Oh yeah, that's when it burns. And tears. But then you're done, and you forget all about the pain for two days!")
Ross: "I'm really glad we saw those. Now I know that the head comes out and the baby kinda hangs out there for a while. I thought they all just shot out! Now I won't freak out if it takes another contraction or two."
Midwife: "Did you notice how wrinkly the head head is when they come out?
Us: "Yes!"
"Midwife: "The first time I saw a head without much hair, I mean I knew what to expect, but with the wrinkles... it looked like brain matter!"
Us: "AHHH!"
All: (Laughter, etc.)

The weeks are flyin by for me fishgirl

2009-05-03T21:01:00.001-07:00

Week 24 came and went. And she kicked and swished and prob'ly reached about a foot long, though fetuses/babies in the womb tend to, well, be in the fetal position. So she's not exactly stretching out, when she kicks and karate chops, she's just sussing out her space.

Baby Center describes the formation of tastebuds (! for the amniotic fluid/urine, yumm!) and she's getting ready to pork up: she couldda gained 4 whole ounces since the 23rd week.

As well: "Her brain is also growing quickly now ... Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help her air sacs inflate once she hits the outside world. Her skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon."

My analysis: glad she's still inside. As much as I'd like a kit with wings or a tail or multiple sex organs, I don't really want a see-through kid (AH, the inside out man from Fishboy!!)

Oh, and in week 24, I had a soccer ball in my belly (maybe a size 4?), or so says's the site: "In the past few weeks, the top of your uterus has risen above your belly button and is now about the size of a soccer ball."

Two strange things, mom don't read the second

2009-04-26T13:38:00.001-07:00

Two strange things are happening.
1. all the photos I've posted lately, feature the same expression on my face. Strange, cause it's so normal. And peaceful. Not quite exploding with bliss, but, you know, glow-y. Many a photo for many a year had me doing many a face. Especially if I was featured alone in the frame. It was always much more of a performance thing. Now maybe that the preggo shots are documenting-things I'm toning it down. Ah, shit, say it ain't so. (So, here is a photo of the view from my daily hike. I love where I live!)

2. And the other thing. Horniness still a good friend of mine. Which means I can still nod in agreement anytime I hear "I Touch Myself" — but the execution of "me time" has altered a bit.

Maybe I thought I'd be taking life easy for the remainder of my childless life. Lounging with fresh-squeezed fruit juices (we got a juice for xmas), snacking on salmon and prenatal vitamins, leisurely pleasuring myself for hours a day.

Nope. I'm making sure to keep crazy busy. Taking on more work than I should, accepting admission to grad school, pushing for a internship with a planner to happen sooner than later, picking up odd jobs, and watching porn for a few minutes a day.

WATCHING. This has not been my usual, really ever. WATCHING is more of a group thing for me (best done in pairs, really). Whereas one-handed reads and flipping through the pages of a magazine are familiar activities and go hand-in-hand for me and my libido.

Masturbating does not seem like a chore. But I'm enjoying the quickies more than the other solo options.

Good thing there's many a disk to be had in this household. Have I mentioned how much I love my man lately? And more proof that we're a good match: we have similar taste in porn. At least enough to keep me satisfied. His tastes to veer further into, well, never mind.

Back in time: sand dancing for the wee one

2009-04-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

So appropriate that while I was in Mexico Ginger Rocket (the old ladies decided that Rocket is OK, Crash is not) was 'posed to be the size of a mango. A "large" mango. Because I ate a lot of mango in Mexico. I did not, however, do so without washing the outside of it first. (Last year = 24 hours of the poops. This year, with clean mango, no questionable or liquified poops!)

What they say about week 23:
"Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango), you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb."

The below, body stuff, but first, how it applies to me:
--The all-night flights, without platform flip flops to raise up my feet/legs followed by bus rides, and STANDING on bus rides in the heat was a bit hard on my legs. My poor almost broken veins were angry. I was not comfortable. I was not in pain, though. And I ALMOST broke out the specialty hose. Almost is key here.
--I was swollen after the flights, but that's normal for me. Also, I ate all those ham and cheese sandwiches that Mexicana Air give you. Yummy salt bombs that go down great with Tecate.
--Exercise regularly: Check!
--Left side sleeping. My back is still comfortable for me, so I flop around a lot
--Dancing: Did a bunch of this on the beach. For the wedding. And at a beach party with a few other pregnant ladies. I think she'll come out liking brown people who play the drums and sing in multiple languages.
--Comfortable shoes: Yup! Even wore running/tennies/walking shoes to carry my pack and fly and travel by bus. Hence the unelevated feet on the flight. Said shoes have some pink, so they are passably cute. But barely.

From Baby Center:
"You may notice that your ankles and feet start to swell a bit in the coming weeks or months, especially at the end of the day or during the heat of summer. Sluggish circulation in your legs — coupled with changes in your blood chemistry that may cause some water retention — may result in swelling, also known as edema. Your body will get rid of the extra fluid after you have your baby, which is why you'll pee frequently and sweat a lot for a few days after delivery. In the meantime, lie on your left side or put your feet up when you can, stretch out your legs when you sit, and avoid sitting — or standing — in one place for long periods. Also, try to exercise regularly to increase circulation, and wear support stockings (put them on first thing in the morning) and roomy, comfortable shoes. You may be tempted to skimp on liquids to combat swelling, but you need to drink plenty of water because staying hydrated actually helps prevent fluid retention. While a certain amount of edema in your lower extremities is normal during pregnancy, excessive swelling may be a sign of a serious condition called preeclampsia. Be sure to call your midwife or doctor if you have severe or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, more than slight swelling of your hands, swelling in your face, or puffiness around your eyes."

22 weeks was fun: hairy vegetable, no marks

2009-04-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

Here's what they told me about my hairy spaghetti squash (?!?).

"At 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily."

Below is more of what to expect about the ol bod. But I'll just say:
--no stretch marks yet
--no one has tried to play with/pet my tummy, but I'm kinda keeping it under wraps/baggy clothes when at school, still, cause I want to get into school
--friends can still hardly tell I have a belly, unless I stick it out.

"How your life's changing:At this point, you may find your belly becoming a hand magnet. It's perfectly okay to tell folks who touch your tummy that you'd rather they didn't. And if people are telling you that you look smaller or bigger than you should at this point, remember that each woman grows — and shows — at her own rate. What's important is that you see your practitioner for regular visits so she can make sure your baby's growth is on track.

"You may start to notice stretch marks on your abdomen as it expands to accommodate your growing baby. At least half of all pregnant women will develop stretch marks by the time they give birth. These small streaks of differently textured skin can range from pink to dark brown (depending on your skin color). Although they most commonly appear on your tummy, stretch marks may also show up on your buttocks, thighs, hips, and breasts. There's no proof that lotion helps prevent stretch marks, but keeping your skin moisturized may help with any itching."

i do not have swine flu

2009-04-25T20:21:00.001-07:00

No swine flu for me. Or for Ross. So far, Mexico has not made me sick. And my tan seems to be fading. Which is unfortunate.

More good news: I have a fancy new gift to show off. My friend Lee gave me a killer deal on a necklace I could not live with out. We call it the preggo necklace, acquired with my preggo discount. Which, Lee says, I should be liberally applying for from friends, family, strangers and perverts alike.

Lee makes awesome pretty intricate gifts and wearables. She outfits performers and divas, pregnant ladies and friends. Her work can be seen here, at Fool Proof Studio. When I went to visit her at her studio, she was beading. Beading! Like stringing them. And she had just finished a necklace she had made, for fun.

Ah, the artsy/craftsy folks I love.

(Also, my awesome hair is, as always, by Tracy, at Vine St. Salon in Berkeley.

Mexico makes people worry, and I'm like What, Me Worry?

2009-04-24T22:02:00.001-07:00

We took The Belly to Mexico. Tulum, actually. It was lovely! Relaxing, hot and breezy. I hardly had any tequila (the midwives said I could -- with steak!) and did not sunburn my belly. Tanned, yes. Sunburned, no.

In preparation to leave, I chatted about the trip with my midwives and with friends and kinda with family. Turns out that people are kinda freaked out a pregnant people traveling. And that many folks equate Mexico with death/murder/rape/illness/the other/pooping/ etc.

Sure, there is a lot of hype right now about murders and beheadings kidnappings and narco issue, but that's mostly segregated to the border areas, and entirely contained by areas known to have previous narco issues. (The Mexican government is taking out/down the leaders of the drug cartels. There are power vacuums. Narco types are gunning each other down, claiming new territory and even crossing the border into the US to "kidnap" folks back to Mexico. Not a good time to pop over the border in AZ, NM or TX.

But Tulum, well, Tulum is in the Yucatan. South of Cancun. A lovely beachy sleepy area populated by ex-pats, hippies and mellow Mexicans/indigenous populations. I've never been to a safer, more mellow area of Mexico.

Still, there were worries (not mine!). Ross and I and Nicole and Sander stayed in Tulum last February. Sure, I got the shits for 24 hours, but I kinda licked the outside of a mango... so I was asking for it.

Midwives
suggested that I take grapefruit seed extract: I did. Tasted terrible. But if you put a leettle beer in your mouth and squeeze some drops into the beer, goes down with no problem. Three to five drops a few times a day = no pooping water for me. Ross was not so diligent with the GSE, and so, not so lucky.

Friends and friends in the medical world: fear of cheese!
Listeriosis, Mexico, pregnant people. I ate a ton of cheese, from the super market, at restaurants, and taco stands. No problems. I did not eat any "artisan" cheeses, nor did I consume anything from farms: pasteurized = OK.

Family:
Don't get kidnapped! OK!

Midwives
Dehydration from pooping water or just from cooking myself in the sun was to be avoided. But still, dehydration in the heat, at the beach, in a foreign country was likely. I took EmergenC for the electolytes. True, they recommended that I take something a bit more powerful, less sweet, but I couldn't find it. (I didn't try too hard, to be honest.)

Friendly neighborhood reminders (ie from Nicole)
Snacks! Getting hungry on the plane, on the buss, in the cabana sucks. Last year, not pregnant, a shot of tequila could make the hunger pains wither and die. This year: Belly Bars, Luna Bars, Tiger Milk Bars, Turkey Jerky. I even brought enough to share with Ross. And upon arriving in Tulum, we headed for the supermarket -- for beer and tequila and bottled water (OK, mostly for Ross.) But day 2, I returned to get tortillas, salsa, chips, avocados, fruit, etc. for storing in a bag tied to the rafters (all the harder for the iguanas to get to), and for snacking.

It was easy and cheap to eat safe and only drink bottled water. I did, however, drink coffee, eat salads, and consume drinks with ice. And still, no problems.

And listening to advise, even following it, was pretty darn easy/harmless as well. So, if you offered up any wisdom, THANKS.

Ladies who hike together, get bigger together: introducing the pregnants

2009-04-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

These are the ladies I hike with. Lan and Kitty are a few weeks ahead of me in the counting weeks of gestation game.

We've been hiking together darn near weekly for months. At first it was goofy, 'cause we'd excitedly talk about being preggers, being tired, taking naps, books we were reading and cute/scary things people would say to us — all discussion was centered on being pregnant. But we, back then, were all tiny little things, very not visibly pregnant.

As the weeks have progressed, we've:
--gotten more out of breath (50% more blood makes us breathe harder!)
--watched each others boobs grow (I'll never forget the first time I saw Kitty's boobs jiggle!)
--consumed more water
--discussed and deconstructed preggo myths that seem to aim to keep women on their backs and fearful of breaking a sweat for 9 months
--graduated to new hiking clothes: Lan was first to out-grow her regular duds
--altered our other-than-hiking exercises: Lan: no more contact/kicking/punching classes; Kitty: less pilates I think, Me: new poses to accommodate The Belly at bikram
--compared to-do, to-buy, to-deal-with-later-lists
--commented on body changes (from constipation to gas to movement to BOOBS -- but you knew that was coming, right?)
--compared nap schedules

We also have the occasional dinner with our menfolks. We have watched films together, traded book lists and watched the men drink.

We are called: "The Pregnants" (coined by Kitty's Brazilian Hublet Abel. Some things are not lost in translation, they just get cuter.

ross felt ginger crash kennedy loy kicking

2009-04-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

(No, that's prob'ly not her name. We still have to add another "first name" in there.)

Last night, sitting in bed, we were staring at The Belly. It's time for proper noun status. Though I can still hide it from my professors. But not from anyone who knows me. The Belly has become quite an entity this week. Most of my pants still fit, some summer skirts don't really work, but other than that, I can manage in last year's (and the last five years') wardrobe

We were staring at the belly. I was petting it a bit (not sure if this is really a natural thing or if I've seen so many preggo ladies do it that I feel like it's a natural thing and so do it. hmmm.) And Ross joined in. I was feeling some movement (not gas, pretty sure) and BOOM, up went my belly, right under his hand.

Gasps, chuckles, and a few cheesey other things followed.

Today when we chatted about regular end-of-day stuff on the phone, Ross asked: Did you feel her kicking today?" (Cue the "ahhhhs!")

Yup! Although that gurgling right now, might just be gas.

my, how they've grown

2009-04-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

So, that website sent me an email about boobs, so, duh, I read it. Didn't learn anything, but it does have good info.

What do you need to know about my massive breasts today? Well:
I had to buy new bras, real bras! and... drum roll please: C-cups!!!!
--got one fancy (ok, at Target = $9.99 cause even when I'm fancy I'm cheap) black one that is shaped like a bra/cup thing but has no padding (Ross and Mom approve
--and got one beige thing that has some room to grown in that will replace my yoga tanks/camis for day-to-day wear

When I got out of target I called my mom and then Ross. To brag.

More updates:
My C-cups (yeah!) did itch a bit today. And they have a bit more heft to them that even a week ago. My new bras still fit (I know I've mentioned the C-cup, but, well, I'm not tired of mentioning it yet.)

More shirts just don't fit.

This week I made one woman uncomfortable, yes, with my massive breasts: I caught her looking at them and then she looked quickly away.

And when I was talking to our neighbor Rudy (me in spanish he in spanglish) I told him about being pregnant. He said. "Ah, yes. Your chichimongas are more better!" I laughed and agreed.

Actually, I grabbed them in agreement.

"Why are my breasts so sore now that I'm pregnant?

Hormonal changes during pregnancy cause increased blood flow and changes in the breast tissue, which may make your breasts feel swollen, sore, tingly, and unusually sensitive to touch. Some women describe the sensation as an exaggerated version of how their breasts feel before their period.

Breast tenderness is one of the earliest signs of pregnancy. It usually starts around 4 to 6 weeks and lasts through the first trimester.
What other changes can I expect?

Starting at around 8 weeks, your breasts also begin to get bigger, and they'll continue to grow throughout your pregnancy. It's common to go up a cup size or two, especially if it's your first baby. Your breasts may feel itchy as the skin stretches, and you may even develop stretch marks on them.

You may be able to see veins under the skin of your breasts, and you may find that your nipples are getting bigger and darker. After the first few months, your areolas — the pigmented circles around your nipples — will also be bigger and darker.

You may not have noticed the little bumps on your areolas before. But now these bumps, which are a type of oil-producing gland called Montgomery's tubercles, may become much more pronounced. Your breasts go through these changes in preparation for nursing your baby.

Around your third month of pregnancy, your breasts start producing colostrum, the special milk your baby will get when he first starts nursing. During the last few months of pregnancy, you may begin to leak a small amount of this thick yellowish substance, although some women start to leak earlier and some never leak at all.
Can I do anything to reduce the soreness?

Your best bet is to find a few good, supportive bras. Take the time to get fitted by a knowledgeable salesperson in a large department store or maternity shop.

You may find that bras with underwires are less comfortable now. To prevent chafing, look for soft material with no seams near the nipple. Cotton bras will be more comfortable and breathable than synthetic.

For extra support during the day, try a maternity bra. (During your third trimester, you might want to invest in a nursing bra, since you'll need one anyway if you'll be breastfeeding.) For nighttime, try a pregnancy sleep bra — a soft, nonrestrictive cotton bra available at maternity stores.

It's especially important to wear a supportive bra that fits properly while you exercise, because your breasts are heavier. A bra designed for exercise will provide the additional support you need and minimize discomfort.

Consider buying your bras with a bit of room to grow, since you may go up a size or two (both in cup size and chest circumference) as your breasts grow and your belly expands. Choose the ones that fit when the clasp is on the tightest setting, so you'll have some room to let them out. This is definitely a good idea if you end up buying a nursing bra before you deliver."

crash has ruined my skin, that little brat

2009-04-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

I think it was Tuesday. My skin went on strike. And flaked off. From my chin, up both sides of my face, eventually pealing as far as my eyes.

This is new.

I blame it on being pregnant.

(oh, the photos: From an article on Jezebel.com: "Skin Etching Artist Explores Our Relationship With Our Bodies"

Here we have my first complaint! Goddamn flaking skin that no amount of lotion or oil or scrubbing can stop.

Back for Christmas, Ross gave me some fancy healthy lotion to slather on my soon-to-be massive breasts and my coming-soon belly. I happily applied morning, after hikes/yoga and night. Within a few days the skin in these areas had turned red, kinda hard and was kinda burning. And there were bumps. And there were a few pimples, just to make it even grosser.

So, there I was, with new my new boobs, wanting to show them off, wanting to talk about BOOBS how I had them, etc. But mostly I was just itching them.

Ross was slow to accept that the magic lotion could be the problem. So, having down time and zero work back in December and January, I pretended to remember anything at all from my many science projects and performed an experiment on my belly and boobs.

I applied one lotion to one side of my bod, and the magic lotion to the other. Redness continued under the magic, redness faded elsewhere.

We figured my newly hijacked body was being super sensitive — and that the new lotion was a no no. No real harm done. I went back to my old lotion. Which worked.

Until this week.

Problem
Old lotion on neck and chest: burning firey red skin = wash that shit off quick
Fancy natural face lotion that I have been using for years = lizard skin falling off my chin in sheets.

Solution
Wait at least 30 minutes after bathing before I put any lotion on.
Apply lavender or other OILS to my face at night, wash and apply less lotion during the day

Six days later, it's better. Wonder how my new skin will adapt to Mexican sun, sun block and salt water? Guess I better bring a hat too.

Spider veins, support hose and kicks by the carrot

2009-04-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

From Babycenter (this is from the weekly email I get 'cause I signed up with an EDD [estimated due date] and a first day of last menstrual cycle] I usually click through, compare what I'm feeling to what is expected.)

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and if you're having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well."

So, let's see: kicks and nudges, YES as of Saturday pm, I am fully feeling her. So, excellent, finally on schedule for that. I wasn't worried bur Mr. Ross was a bit anxious as the lit. says first timers can feel movements as early as 16 weeks, AND if movements aren't detected by week 22, midwives/doctors should be alerted. Kicks = yay!

And more:

How my life (should be) a changin':
You're probably feeling pretty comfortable these days. You're not too big yet, and the usual discomforts associated with early pregnancy are, for the most part, gone. If you're feeling good, relax and enjoy it while you can — the third trimester may bring with it a new crop of complaints.

That's not to say you won't have some minor glitches to deal with now. For example, increased oil production may contribute to the development (or worsening) of acne. If that's the case, be diligent about washing well with a gentle soap or cleanser twice a day, and make sure that any moisturizer or make-up you use is oil-free. Don't take any oral acne medications — some are very hazardous during pregnancy — or use any topical acne products without first checking with your practitioner.

You're also more prone to varicose veins now. As your pregnancy progresses, there's increasing pressure on the veins in your legs; higher progesterone levels, which may cause the walls of your veins to relax, can make the problem worse. You're more likely to get varicose veins if other family members have them. Also, they tend to get worse with each successive pregnancy and as you age. To help prevent or minimize varicose veins, exercise daily, prop up your feet and legs whenever possible, sleep on your left side, and wear maternity support hose.

You may also notice so-called spider veins (a group of tiny blood vessels near the surface of your skin), particularly on your ankles, legs, or face. They may have a spider- or sunburst-like pattern with little branches radiating out from the center, they may look like the branches of a tree, or they may be a group of separate thin lines with no particular pattern. Though they may be a bit unsightly, spider veins don't cause discomfort and usually disappear after delivery."

What's really up with me and my bod:
--Yes, I feel great. Though I never felt bad. During the first three months I was very tired, so I napped a lot, 'cause I could. As well, I was ridiculously horny. But that's kinda par for the course — when I have down time, well, I wanna get down.
--Grr. Veins. Yes I can see them growing and wanting to do mean things to my legs. My mother got her first vericose veins when she carried me, her first child.
--Spider veins: I have one cool, kinda pretty little spider vein sunburst on my right calf. It gets very bright after yoga, but calms down a lot as my body cools. No pain there. The v.veins kinda pound with my heart beats.

To do this week:
--Give up. Get support hose. So far, pharmacies only have nude (!!!) hose and they tell me that maternity support hose might be found at a medical supply store (!). I will buy a $20 pair of icky nude hose and then find other colors online or elsewhere. We'll see how long I can put off going into a medical supply store. Since when is being pregnant a medical condition, oh, yeah, right, enter Western Med.

--Buy a bra. Mom and Ross agree. It's time. Fine.

--The midwives will be here tomorrow for a visit: Reading material includes: vaccinations decisions, chopping off part of a baby boy's penis, and gestational diabetes screening.

Also, I should expect to gain a pound a week! More ice cream, please. Thank you.

And: photo: Ducks!!! Yellow is not pink — thanks, mom!

Gas attack! oh wait, it's her!

2009-04-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

Went to a lovely dinner last night at the familiar and, yes, yummy, Tuk Tuk Thai with (Ross's long-time Ohio) friends Steve, Deanna and Mr. Ross. Ordered some of the usual: papaya salad, coconut, chicken, lemongrass etc. soup, and a sizzling seafood (really, yes our usual if you add green tea ice cream to it) and we all shared these plus two curry dishes.

I'm a fan of curry. Had some sticky rice. Had a Singha beer (love the Thai beer with the Thai food!) and tons of regular ol' white rice.

Left in typical new-me fasion: "I'm pregnant, can't get drunk, want to eat it all so fuck it and if you get in my way I'll eat your head THAT LAST BITE OF SALAD IS MINE!" and added a bit of mint chocolate ice cream to the fullness when I got home.

Laid in bed. Farted a few times. Listened to Ross's stomach make terrible noises that matched my own (stomach's terrible noises). I was ordered downstairs so I couldn't hear more terrible bowel-related noises.

After more ice cream (cause I can!) I settled into bed for a movie.

And: BOOB! WACK! SWOOSH! The little lady gave me a kick or a punch or is swimming laps. Yup, I felt her. At first I wondered if it wasn't gas... but it felt different, my belly even moved under my hand! And yes, felt like someone tiny was in there and practicing her penalty kicks. Yay!

She's alive. I mean, we've seen her move on the sono screen (we did two sonos, don't plan to do any more) and the midwives have pointed out that my belly is growing just as it should be, but it was a bit disconcerting to be 21 weeks and still be uncertain about feeling movement.

Ah, sweet relief — I can still sleep, and she only kicks/punches a few times in a row. So, more yay!

(photo above: pinkish bear onesy from my mom. Ross likes the bear! He is waiting for the black or camo clothes.)

ginger crash kennedy loy (?)'s first bikini

2009-04-04T16:35:00.000-07:00

Tracy had a birthday. I ate as much mac n cheese as I could fit. Ross pretended that his blood pressure is that of a 19-year-old's and tried to keep up with me. Tracy looked great (see!) her son was awesome and crazy and boy-like. We gave her gifts. She gave me and Lan gifts.

I'm finding that my lady friends who have little boys are more excited than I am about the fact that I'm having a girl. Cause dress up (for them) can now begin. Behold, the cutest bikini I've ever seen.

Me: Yay! It's pink!
Ross: Whoa... it's pink.
My mom: That's adorable. How big is it?
Me: 3 months
Mom: (pause) The poor kid.
Ross: Hey, the ruffle goes all the way around the butt!
Me: Yay?

Sonos, baby

2009-04-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

She looks like Ross. He says all babies look like him at this point. But really, look at those cheeks!

We got these recent sonos at our 16 week visit. 45 minutes of sono with the Russian lady technician (she thought our little lady was cute, but I bet she says that to all the giddy moms (to-be).

And yes, I was giddy. What a kick to see toes, finger nails, and a beating heart. What a TRIP to hear her heart. About 140 beats per minutes, ticking just she should be.

Halfway to huge

2009-04-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

And then 20 weeks came along. Not so much of a difference. Ross and I have noticed that as soon as we got the "all clear" from the amnio, that my belly became a belly. There is noticeable growth every week now.

Boobs? Stil formidable.

Ice cream flavor of the week: French Vanilla
Old friends wonder: Am I craving anything?
I wonder: Is my but getting smaller?
My mother says: No, you little shit, the rest of you is getting bigger.
Me: Oh.
Ross: Yeah!
Me: I love this man.

From the email/website/crackbabyland:

"How your baby's growing:
Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

See what your baby looks like this week. (Or see what fraternal twins look like in the womb this week.)"

Poop! She's making her first poop!

How they say I'm a changing:
"How your life's changing:
Congratulations! You've hit the halfway mark in your pregnancy. The top of your uterus is about level with your belly button, and you've likely gained around 10 pounds. Expect to gain another pound or so each week from now on. (If you started your pregnancy underweight, you may need to gain a bit more; if you were overweight, perhaps a bit less.) Make sure you're getting enough iron, a mineral that's used primarily to make hemoglobin (the part of your red blood cells that carries oxygen). During pregnancy, your body needs more iron to keep up with your expanding blood volume, as well as for your growing baby and the placenta. Red meat is one of the best sources of iron for pregnant women. Poultry (especially the dark meat) and shellfish also contain iron. Some common non-meat sources of iron include legumes, soy-based products, spinach, prune juice, raisins, and iron-fortified cereals.

If you haven't already signed up for a childbirth education class, you may want to look into one, especially if you're a first-timer. A structured class will help prepare you and your partner for the rigors of labor and delivery. Most hospitals and birth centers offer classes, either as weekly meetings or as a single intensive, one-day session. Many communities have independent instructors as well. Ask your friends, family members, or caregiver for recommendations."

I have signed up for a class! It's a class that's designed for folks who are aiming for a home birth. Of course, I asked about transfer, and yes, the class has a section about what to expect when we have to make a transfer, how to be prepared for it emotionally, etc. The instructor is the daughter of one of our lovely ladies of Awakenings Birth Services -- so I know we'll be in good hands.

This week's treat: Ginger cat cookdies, with French Vamilla ice cream and chocolate chip-like things from Holland. I think I'll have some now!

19 weeks -- tomatos are fruits, afterall

2009-04-04T16:05:00.001-07:00

I've been busy, bad, boring? No, not boring. But here are some of the weekly updates about my growing fruit-human.

19 weeks
"Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces, and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. The hair on her scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: Your baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, taking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you."

And what my body is 'posed to be up to below, but:
--no aches or pains
--tons of energy
--the palms of my hands are NOT read, but this sounds kinda cool
--and i guess the belly line i see on the birthing videos will come in due time, maybe to match a healthy set of newly red palms?
--and, not so self-conscious about anything, yet

"Think you're big now? You'll start growing even faster in the weeks to come. As a result, you may notice some achiness in your lower abdomen or even an occasional brief, stabbing pain on one or both sides — especially when you shift position or at the end of an active day. Most likely, this is round ligament pain. The ligaments that support your uterus are stretching to accommodate its increasing weight. This is nothing to be alarmed about, but call your practitioner if the pain continues even when you're resting or becomes severe.

You may be noticing some skin changes, too. Are the palms of your hands red? Nothing to worry about — it's from the extra estrogen. You may also have patches of darkened skin caused by a temporary increase in pigment. When these darker patches appear on your upper lip, cheeks, and forehead, they're called chloasma, or the "mask of pregnancy." You may also notice some darkening of your nipples, freckles, scars, underarms, inner thighs, and vulva. That darkened line running from your belly button to your pubic bone is called the linea nigra, or "dark line."

These darkened spots will probably fade shortly after delivery. In the meantime, protect yourself from the sun, which intensifies the pigment changes. Cover up, wear a brimmed hat, and use sunscreen when you're outdoors. And if you're self-conscious about your "mask," a little concealing makeup can work wonder"

the midwives taste good to spider

2009-03-21T10:21:00.000-07:00

Spider loves the midwives. Sure, he barks when they are at the door, but he barks at everybody, except for Ross. Spider can hear his car a block away, he jumps up on the pillows by the window and pokes his head out between the curtains to watch Ross pull up and get out of his car. Then he looses his doggie mind, whining and barking and wriggling til I let him bolt out the door to (chase a cat, sniff and pee on a few things) run out to Ross. Somehow Spider does this with both his head and butt pointed at Ross, at least by the crucial last few feet. It's quite funny to watch.

So, midwives: Juli came this time. We get a visit every three weeks from the lovely ladies of Awakenings Birth Services. We talked about my labs: blood, urine, etc. They called after they got the urine results to tell me that my urine has/had an elevated level of the bacteria that can cause UTI's. And while I hadn't noticed any irritation (cause then I drink my weight in water and turn off the vibrator and the boy for a night/day), they educated me to the fact that during pregnancy, I might not feel the warning signs and end up with a full blown UTI. So, I've been taking cranberry pills along with my daily pre-natals.

As well, last visit, they suggested adding Omega-3's with fish oil — cause the little lady is growing a damn fine brain, and I can't likely eat enough fish or good cholesterol no matter how much low-mercury bites I take.

This week, Juli suggested starting the day and ending it with the cranberry pills.

The blood results: I'm O Positive, baby. But my iron is on the low side. The tincture/tea I'm drinking daily will help with that, but I'm gonna look for the right Iron supplement as well. Upon hearing that my iron is low, I recall that it's always been kinda low. Same with my mom.

Which brings me to veins and hemorrhaging. My mom nearly bled to death when she had my brother Spike (3rd kid) at home. But she also bled A LOT after I was born (1st kid). The midwife surmised that low iron can be associated with bleeding. AND with vericose veins. Which I don't want. Which my mom has. The nettle in my tea will also help prevent unhealthy veins.

This week: Pro-biotics. Vit C. Iron with something I can't remember right now.

My favorite thing said by the midwives: Jen, I know you're not clean and sober by a long shot, that's good. We might need to suggest that you drink some wine or whiskey if you get pre-labor contractions.

Yay! for my midwives.

after class beer and coffee

2009-03-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

Ah, being a student again is fun!

On Tuesday, I got to class in the nick of time — I much prefer riding my bike to BART, then biking up the hill to class, but during the rains I got out of the habit and have been driving in from Richmond. Which is fine, because no traffic at noon. And I know the secret streets on which to park. And lifting my bike onto my shoulder still feels fine, but soon, well, not so good, especially as I huff and puff up the stairs with it.

So, drive in. Have a great class (City Planning department). Meet with a Masters student who did a big ol' study on Mama Buzz, get some inside info about how to maybe get off the waiting list and into school, which, yay! And then I called up Ross to tell him about my day. Surprise, he was on Telegraph having a beer. So I pulled up a stool, set down my coffee (which was a double, and I totally didn't need it all right then anyway) and ordered a Stella.

Victor came in, I shock my boobs at him. And I left to move my car after beer number 1. I chose against going back to my stool, because I just don't do beer number 2 these days. And it felt like, well, I wanted beer number 2.

Home again, home again. Homework. Hike. Tuesday rocked! (I still feel guilty, however, about the coffee. I forgot my travel mug and had to get a to go — AND a lid! I'm evil, surely.)

nipples and boobs changing, oh my

2009-03-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ross is happy to report that my left boob is still slightly bigger than my right. The nipples are in fact bigger and darker. And all is still "fun." I can report that for the first time in my life, my boobs affect my clothing. Some shirts don't fit right. Others finally fit they way they are supposed to. And when I wear a fuzzy/'50s sweater, I "really know how to fill it out." Quoting Ross, again.

These lovely barbells just came out of my nipples. I got one back in the days of Jeff: maybe 12 years ago. And the other, in year one of Mama Buzz: 6 years ago. Sheesh.

So, unpierced, they remain quite erect, though they seem to be able to relax a bit more.

As my nipples have grown (really, it's not THAT much!) the rings lost the extra space between the flesh and the "bell," — which made my rather excitable pair always kinda on. And more recently, kinda angry and on.

So, out the metal came.

Lots of time to enjoy the new look, and for the 35-year-old nips to do whatever they want to do in preparation for our female five-inch avocado/girl.

showing, but not really

2009-03-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

Got my weekly not from Pregnancy Center, 18 weeks and the little lady is over 5inches long! If she had a penis it would be super visible. Any baby boy of mine would have already found it.

How your baby's growing:
Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound."

And below is the stuff that my body should be doing.

well, I did get that dizzy spell
but sleeping on my back i still totally comfortable
tried to sleep on my belly last night, OUT
shortness of breath: jeeze, i can hardly talk when i hike up those hills anymore. but that's been going on since month-1 tho i am noticeably short(er) of breath each month, on those crazy hills.
hungry? why yes, gimme more of that second breakfast, please.

How your life is changing: Hungry? An increase in appetite is pretty common about now. Make it count by choosing meals and snacks that are rich in nutrients instead of empty calories (chips, French fries, candy, and other sweets). Bigger, more comfortable clothes are a must now as your appetite and waistline grow.

Your cardiovascular system is undergoing dramatic changes, and during this trimester your blood pressure will probably be lower than usual. Don't spring up too fast from a lying or sitting position or you might feel a little dizzy.

From now on, when you do lie down, it's best to lie on your side — or at least partly tilted to one side. (When you lie flat on your back, your uterus can compress a major vein, leading to decreased blood return to your heart.) Try placing a pillow behind you or under your hip or upper leg for comfort.

If you haven't already had a second-trimester ultrasound, you'll probably have one soon. This painless procedure helps your practitioner check how your baby's growing, screen for certain birth defects, check the placenta and umbilical cord, determine whether the due date you're working with is accurate, and see how many babies you're carrying. During the exam, you might see your baby moving around or sucking his thumb. Bring your partner along, and be sure to ask for a printout for your baby's first photo album!