What to do on the estimated due date?

Monday was a great day.

Ross did housework and I got the ball rolling on deferral.

By 1pm we had packed the car with towels, floaty, cooler (yes, with beer, it's my celebration, damnit) and dog for a day on the Russian River.

My logic was this: Let's drive as far out of town as we can stand and see if that doesn't jump-start labor.

Also, August is finally hot and summery and I have not spent nearly enough time on the river this year.

We arrived with sandwiches and cherries and 1 beer down. We found shade, inflated a floaty and tortured the dog by taking him with us on our first slow float. (Spider is not a water-loving dog. On a hot day, he'll head for the water, drink it up, get in up to his belly and maybe follow Ross or I as we wade or swim, but he does this without enjoyment.)

There were beers and yellow jackets, dogs on leashes, white trash girls who were much cuter than their white trash boys and lots of smooches between Ross and I (the mix of sun, water and white trash has that effect on us).

As well, I got lots of attention from the locals.

Moms/Grandmoms approached to find out how preggo I was and compliment me on being out and about, or on my figure (!) and especially on our decision to do a home birth.

Younger moms and friends (with beers in hand) were also thrilled that I was out, and on my due date no less. We compared due date stories of water and celebration.

The teenagers (beers in hand when no one was looking) next to us, however, seemed to refer to me as a warning, a public service message, if you will.

About my boobs: "Oh, yeah, but then the milk comes and you're all sore and when you're done they sag."

About breeding: "I think I could have one kid, maybe, but I'd have to do it soon so I can get my body back."

About everything else: "Take off your clothes." "What?" "Get naked!" "I can't hear you. Shut up!" (This a conversation between two 15/17-year-olds, maybe a couple, mixed with unintelligible honky/gangsta slang and debates about who was being a slut).

I was happy with my role, loved the attention, and chuckled at the teens. I prob'ly sounded like them until my mid-twenties, minus the gansta slang.

Throughout the day, I got progressively less comfortable. Floating was nice, but lounging, sitting, laying around = awful. Ginger was moving lower and lower, and letting me know what positions were cramping her style.

Cat and cow postures helped, and likely added to my persona of "really fucking pregnant lady over there." The drive home was interesting and I simply gave in to the pressure on my cervix, the total inability to lean forward and a massive thirst.

At about 1 am, I was experiencing my first-ever round of contractions. Intense enough for me to notice, practice breathing and counting, and remember what the midwives/doula had suggested.

I alerted Ross, but told him to stay in bed (he listened and made me agree that I needed to get some sleep.) I was feeling wired, like whole-pot-of-coffee alert as I thought about what we needed to do before the doula arrived: wash the dishes, fill the tub, get the crock pot out, etc. Not exactly relaxing were these thoughts. I was excited that she might come and did what I usually do when I'm excited: Think myself in circles.

So, I got up, ate a dinner-size snack. Hydrated. And opened the pretty darn nice bottle of wine I had hidden just for this purpose. As I sipped on my massive glass of red, I wrote the emails that I thought I'd need to send when labor actually starts, added more media/text to our phone plan because we'll be using more in the weeks that follow Ginger Crash's arrival, and checked our lists of needs, to-dos, etc.

By the time the second glass of wine hit, I was calm enough to go back up stairs and within 30 minutes, I was asleep.

Pretty cool to get the practice round in! I should expect a few more before I start to labor... and I should pretty much play it just like that: do whatever it takes to relax, rest or sleep. When labor starts for reals, I won't be able to sleep, but the practice relaxing and resting will really pay off.

OK: Ginger, bring it on, honey! I am ready for whatever you've got in store for me.

EDD has come and gone

So, our estimated due date was Monday, August 10th.

I woke up a big groggy, and earlier than I would have liked and got my self fed, watered and slightly caffeinated, and headed into Berkeley to meet with the lady from the DCRP (Department of City and Regional Planning) and discuss registration for classes, deferral options and the like.

Why did I wait until my due date to talk to admissions? Because, frankly, I'm shocked that my will power, many "conversations" with the inhabitant of my belly, and all that intent didn't force an earlier birth. It would have fit into my schedule, I joke, for her to arrive in the last week of July. That's what we got ready for. That's when everyone started to call and check in. That would have been a safe time for her and a good time for me and my desire to start grad school on time. But, um. No, didn't happen.

As my lovely midwives, doula have been warning me all along, the baby decides when she's ready to come. And giving up the need to control the date of labor and the labor itself are essential lessons to get us through early days of motherhood.

Fine. I give. Ginger Crash is in charge. And I'm really OK with it. (Really, I've never felt this mellow. Hormones?)

Especially because after a chat my admissions-savior-gal, she offered to request a spring deferral! (She has seen two friends become moms this summer and in her words "You are not going to want to be in class in two weeks.) One of the deciders was the professor whose class I took in the spring. So I'm no stranger to her. She told me during the class that she thought I belonged in the department, so, that was a good sign.

Verdict: Approved!

I can start classes in the spring semester. Woo hoo! This means I get months to figure out baby, breast feeding, pumping, part-time working away from the house, etc.

This also means that I have no needs or expectations for her to emerge until she's ready.

Still, I'd really like to see what color eyes she's gonna have. Will they come out in the browns and therefore stay in the browns? Or will they come out in the steely blues and maybe be blue, green, hazel or brown?

And will she be bald? I was bald.

30 pounds, baby (and me)

I've been eating like a good little pregnant lady. Lots of fats, green veggies, cholesterol (3 eggs a day would do the trick, I can do two), tons of fruit and any read meat I can get into my gaping maw. And, recently, it appears I have gained about 30 pounds!!! Which is just about right. "They" say 25 to 35. I'm in the final days here, have been preggo longer than many (Lan popped at 37.5 weeks!), and a pound a week here at the end is what we aim for.

Arrgh. Remember when I was tiny! I DO!!! This photo was taken in early October, at Kitty's girl's night out (Kitty popped almost three weeks ago!). I got knocked up about 5 weeks later. And got boobs by week 1 of December, so, yeah. I've been packing it on, steadily, ever since. Woo hoo?!

39 weeks means we are but days away from the EDD, the estimated due date, which really just gives pregnant people something to schedule life around and obsess about. Most first-time moms like myself (socio-economic, health-wise, etc.) are 1 week and 1 day late.

While I might be chronically late to social events, I really don't wanna be late on this one. If only because I want to go to grad school. Classes start on August 24th... EDD is is August 10th... if we're late, I think I'll have to defer.

The midwives (and all sane people) prescribe staying at home, doing lots of skin-to-skin time with baby and NOT doing things like going to classes for two weeks. Two weeks is MINIMUM -- we shouldn't even leave the house (a tiny walk in the garden or around the block is fine) as the no-longer-preggo body has some serious healing to do. Yes, there's the whole lady parts that are healing, but don't forget, internal organs have to settle into the right spots, we want the bleeding (!) to slow each day, the uterus has to shrink back to size, we have to learn how to breastfeed...

So, c'mon little lady. We're ready!

About 39 weeks, according to BabyCenter
"How your baby's growing:
Your baby's waiting to greet the world! He continues to build a layer of fat to help control his body temperature after birth, but it's likely he already measures about 20 inches and weighs a bit over 7 pounds, a mini watermelon. (Boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls.) The outer layers of his skin are sloughing off as new skin forms underneath.

"How your life's changing:
At each of your now-weekly visits, your caregiver will do an abdominal exam to check your baby's growth and position. She might also do an internal exam to see whether your cervix has started ripening: softening, effacing (thinning out), and dilating (opening). But even armed with this information, there's still no way for your caregiver to predict exactly when your baby is coming. If you go past your due date, your caregiver will schedule you for fetal testing (usually a sonogram) after 40 weeks to ensure that it's safe to continue the pregnancy. If you don't go into labor on your own, most practitioners will induce labor when you're between one and two weeks overdue — or sooner if there's an indication that the risk of waiting is greater than the risks of delivering your baby without further delay.

"While you're waiting, it's important to continue to pay attention to your baby's movements and let your caregiver know right away if they seem to decrease. Your baby should remain active right up to delivery, and a noticeable slowdown in activity could be a sign of a problem. Also call if you think your water may have broken. Membranes rupture before the beginning of labor in about 8 percent of term pregnancies. Sometimes there's a big gush of fluid, but sometimes there's only a small gush or a slow leak. (Don't try to make the diagnosis yourself. Call even if you only suspect you have a leak.) If you rupture your membranes and don't start contractions on your own, you'll be induced."

38 weeks

So, not gonna have a tiny, early baby. I was born 6.6 or 7 weeks early. I weighed in at just about 5 lbs. Preemie. Didn't need to get cooked, but I was TINY. And my parents were totally not ready, so I was swaddled in dad's t-shirts and slept in a drawer.

We are READY. Have a number of potential sleeping places. Way too many cute clothes (thanks Katy/Angelle/Mimi, Maggie and Sarah for the recent boxes of goodies) and a big ol belly.

At this week's midwife visit (they come weekly beginning at 37 weeks) I was:
--still gooey soft in the cervix
--35% effaced
--no more dilated

I find that I really look forward to the vaginal exams. If nothing else, gives me cervix a wake up call and me a darn good idea of where we're at, me and baby. Below is where the pros think I should be.


"How your baby's growing:
Your baby has really plumped up. She weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long (like a leek). She has a firm grasp, which you'll soon be able to test when you hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

"Wondering what color your baby's eyes will be? You may not be able to tell right away. If she's born with brown eyes, they'll likely stay brown. If she's born with steel gray or dark blue eyes, they may stay gray or blue or turn green, hazel, or brown by the time she's 9 months old. That's because a child's irises (the colored part of the eye) may gain more pigment in the months after she's born, but they usually won't get "lighter" or more blue. (Green, hazel, and brown eyes have more pigment than gray or blue eyes.)

"How your life's changing:
For many women, the next couple of weeks are a waiting game. Use this time to prepare your baby's nursery or to take care of necessary tasks you may not get around to for a while after your baby's born. Take naps, catch up on your reading, and spend uninterrupted time with your partner while you can.

"Some swelling in your feet and ankles is normal during these last weeks, but call your practitioner without delay if you notice excessive or sudden swelling of your feet or ankles, more than slight swelling of your hands, any swelling in your face or puffiness around your eyes, or have a sudden weight gain. Also let her know immediately if have severe or persistent headaches; visual changes (such as double or blurred vision, seeing spots or flashing lights, light sensitivity, or a temporary loss of vision), intense upper abdominal pain or tenderness, or nausea and vomiting. These are symptoms of a serious condition called preeclampsia."

--Yes! we wonder what color her eyes will be. I've got crazy yellow/blue/gry/hazel/green eyes. Ross has lovely brown. I put in an order for green. We'll see. (ha ha ha)
--Can't believe I might have a kid that weighs more than 7 or 8 pounds. I don't LOOK that big...
--Some swelling, yes, especially at the end of the day after I've been on my feet all day or been on a hilly hike.

15% effaced, go cervix, go!

Oh, I love my midwives!

At the 37 week and 4 days visit, my midwife and I headed upstairs for my first ever (with the midwives) vaginal exam. I was understandably excited.

Way back in college I was a sexual health educator ... peers, students, clinic hours, me in front of the Japanese-American student union, doing a condom, vibrator routine that both educates and entertains.

I actually enjoy my annual exams! (Usually at Planned Parenthood.) I get to talk to ladies who have dedicated their professional (or volunteer) lives to serving low-income women in a manner that I more than applaud: health care! sex ed! woo hoo! I grill them on updates about testing, vaccines and the like. And, I get my exam in the process. (Can you imagine me chatting my way through a pelvic? Good, 'cause that's exactly what I do.)

Back to the home visit.

Upstairs we go. My midwife checks heart tones of the little lady: 140's, excellent variation = Ginger sounds perfect! (Her words, not mine!)

She checks my blood pressure: 108/68 = perfect! (Her words, not mine!)

And then she puts on a glove (reclaimed from the birth kit we had delivered to the house), squeezed out the lube (also reclaimed from the birth kit we had delivered to the house) and made sure that I have had no trauma associated with this kinda thing. I do not.

I am giddy, frankly, because I know she'd soon tell me what my body had been up to and how close, if at all, we were to meeting baby/going into labor/etc.

"This will be cold..."

While we chat, she finds my cervix, which is kinda difficult because it's so soft! (This is a good thing, the cervix is usually rather hard, but giving, like the tip of your nose. We need it to be soft, like a pudgey cheek.) She then begins to manipulate it, kinda pull it forward (the cervix points more to the back of our pelvis most of the time, but as we prepare to menstruate or, say, deliver a baby, the cervix moves "forward") and tells me that she can't quite fit her finger tip inside, which means that the os, the opening to the cervix, is still shut tight = no dilation. We need 10 centimeters of dilation in order to get the baby's head out.

I try not to be too disappointed.

The sensations were just like a pap smear, a little uncomfortable, kinda tingly in chalkboard scratch kinda way, but no pain... so I have no problem that she's still in there, doing what she needs to do.

We chat a bit more and then she said: "OK, let me tell you what I've been able to do..."

While we talk, she has slowly inserted the tip of her finger into my cervix... and not just the tip, up to a few knuckles! WHILE WE TALKED my cervix dilated to about 1.5 centimeters!

Which was awesome, painless if not sensationless, and meant that my cervix is very pliable and my body had been doing it's job.

By end of session we determine:
Effacement of cervix = 15 % (we need 100 % for full dilation to occur)
Dilation = 1.5 centimeters (again, gotta have the 10 centimeters)

So cool! Body hard at work, and I hadn't really noticed. We end the meeting with me giddier than ever (and with some lube kinda, working its way outta me, so, sticky, too) I skip across the living room (which is funny, cause I'm not exactly little at this point), sooooo proud and thrilled to be in my body.

Ross listens, a bit bemused, as I give him the blow by blow, but he agrees, my body = cool!

In the days following, I notice more cervical sensations: Now that I can identify what it feels like, I can tell more readily when things are happening, go effacement and dilation, go!

37, the week that was

At 37 weeks you gotta be ready to go. That means birth tub in the house, instructions read, adapter for the hose located.

Birth kit, ordered and birth list from the midwives fulfilled and organized. Which includes things like a sealed brown paper bag, with clean, dry items like:
--20 thin washcloths for perineum compresses
--bath mats and towels for sopping up water around the birth tub
--baby's first outfit, two of the stocking caps that came with the birth kit, an organic cotton blanket to wrap her in
--sheets for the birthing bed (that goes over the plastic tarp that goes over the already made-up bed that goes over they hypoallergenic cover that has kept me from being an allergy girl for months, now.

Let's look at what the experts say about this magic, all systems go, week:

"How your baby's growing:"
Congratulations — your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

"Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies sport only peach fuzz."

I kinda doubt she weights that much, frankly. I think I'll have a kinda little lady.

"How your life's changing:
Braxton Hicks contractions may be coming more frequently now and may last longer and be more uncomfortable. You might also notice an increase in vaginal discharge. If you see some "bloody show" (mucus tinged with a tiny amount of blood) in the toilet or in your undies, labor is probably a few days away — or less. (If you have heavier spotting or bleeding, call your caregiver immediately.) Also be sure to ask your caregiver about the results of your Group B strep culture. That way, if the result isn't yet on your chart when you get to the hospital or birth center, you'll be able to give the staff there a timely heads-up if you need antibiotics.

"It may be harder than ever to get comfortable enough to sleep well at night. If you can, take it easy through the day — this may be your last chance to do so for quite a while. Keep monitoring your baby's movements, too, and let your caregiver know immediately if you notice a decrease. Though her quarters are getting cozy, she should still be as active as before.

"While you're sleeping, you're likely to have some intense dreams. Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy."

Happily, I was tested and have been determined to be Step B NEGATIVE. No bloody show, no change in mucus. No signs of labor.

In week 37, sleeping on my back and through most of the night has been fine.

Though, the mosquitoes are doing their best to wake me up each and every hour...

The hunger

In these last weeks, I am supposed to gain one pound a week. She gains an ounce a day. This is harder than it sounds.

On a typical night I eat a night-time snack of cheese and meat, maybe some nuts or grain-y bread at 6. By nine I've had a meal. If the meal was small, I make a hamburger or two by midnight. If it's only one hamburger. I get up at 3 or 4 and have to eat: in the middle of the night I try to make it simple: 12 heaping tablespoons of yogurt. A quick brush of the teeth and back to bed. Mind you, this is me, naked, half asleep, eating out of the container, not washing up and nearly falling back up the stairs into bed.

Ross usually wakes up enough, or takes off his headphones and looks up from his musical tinkering to say, "Are you OK?"

"Haveta eat more food."

Last night I supplemented the yogurt with pumpernickel bread and double cream brie. A lot of crumbs to clean up this am.

First breakfast: two pieces of sprouted, multi-grain, high-protein bread soaked in a soup of two eggs and 1/2 cup of whole, unpasteurized, cream-top milk, cooked in coconut oil, heavily sprinkled with powered sugar (cause I am so not the 100% healthy pregnant woman, puhlease!)

Second breakfast/brunch: will have fruit and veggies. It might start with a banana, peanut butter smoothie...

I have days during which I am soooo sick of food. Must find other yummies to get me through breastfeeding!