Monday, November 30, 2009

What she's up to now

Holy crap! Ginger Crash Kennedy Loy is 3 months old!

On Aug 26th she came screaming on out of me. And on November 26th she squawked and boob-fed and napped, but not much, through her first Thanksgiving.

Like any advanced, totally adorable, ridiculously long 3-month-old girl, Ginger is:

--Talkative. She's got the coos down. And she has a new noise just about every day. If I leave her happily hanging out somewhere to, say, clean a diaper in the sink, make a cup of coffee, brush my teeth, or use two hands for anything, she lets me know she's DONE by squawking louder and louder and I swear it sounds like "DADDY." Now, we all know that she is NOT saying DADDY. But how rad (for me) would it be if her first demanding scream was for Ross?! 'Cause I'm off to school in January...

-- Grabbing things. More and more she means to. Sometime she is surprised by what she has in her hand. Sometimes she whacks herself on the head. Sometimes she focusses on something and aims and and and grabs it.

-- Turning over, kinda. She rolls from her back to her side and from her side in either direction. She is sometimes surprised by landing on her back. But quickly recovers and pretends that she TOTALLY meant to.

-- Squawking louder and louder, generally to herself. In the past few days, when we put her in the crib (small, European style, in our bedroom) in the morning so we two adults can be in bed a bit longer, she squawks loudly to the mobile jerking and wobbling above her head. (The mobile is on loan. I think we already broke it, hence the wonky movements.) She will squawk louder and louder until we realize she is saying she is done already. This is not a "DADDY" squawk. This is a more general gleeful shout out to the universe. Until it's a "hey you guys I'm done, really" noise.

-- Chewing on her hand/s. She does this for comfort. Out of boredom and to express glee!

-- Flirting. She'll look ya in the eye, smile and turn her head inward toward my chest and away. But she is not avoiding you, oh no! She is simply getting ready to look at you again.

-- Noticing her feet. With or without socks. This is fascinating. Especially if one foot has a sock on it and one does not. Ginger will slowly lift the right foot, gaze at it with a slightly furrowed brow. Lower it. Raise the left foot, gaze. And repeat. Then both feet are up. This can last (which she's in her bouncy chair and I am, maybe bathing with her in the bathroom) for as long as 5 minutes.

-- Kicking her feet which being changed. And smiling. Raising up her feet while being changed and smiling. Kicking her feet and kicking off her socks. Pretty much always.

In developmental terms, she's right on track with head and neck, back and arm strength. Likewise with verbal and eye tracking markers. But she's totally cuter than most babies!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

More, more, more advice from moms and dads

Apparently, people are reading this blog. This is a good thing (mostly for my ego, but maybe for entertainment and/or educational value. Maybe.)

As well, people post things in response to my posting things about my blog on Facebook. I shall now attempt combine a few tips below (some of mine are here, and a friend's amazing post about "stuff" you need for baby is here), for you's all to see.

Natasha had this to say:
"I am doing cloth diapers too! And I made my own wipes.. We borrowed everything from the swing to the crib. Btw have you tried bum genius 3.0 AIOs? They are my fave but still like prefolds when home."
That's the All In One diaper for those of you less-schooled in the world of cloth diapers than I (I Googled it. Now I know). Yes, I am using these very items! Er, or Ginger is.

Geoff said:
"One word. Costco."

I said: "What am I missing?" For I no longer have a Costco membership.

Dianna filled me in:
"Costco has a bunch of baby stuff, diapers, formula, wipes, motrin, cought supressent. Clothes are cheap to buy there. Toys, books,v juice.If you have not tried the Crisco, you can buy it there. It sounds nuts but it is the best diaper ointment ever. Ginger will never have diaper rash and you will not go broke!!!! Those are some of the things at Costco. Sometimes you can find baby blankets there."

I have to admit I'm steering clear of the Crisco thing. I do have Coconut Oil that I used for sore nipples (worked!) and would be happy to spread it all over Ginger's nether regions. But any redness she gets has gone away quickly.

I do have a tiny tube of Desitin that I've used a few times. Not exactly natural, but it sure does the job. More recently a friend gave us Bum Bum Balm. We use this as well. Ginger's butt seems to love it.

Kate, mom of Ivy, has found the time (and the use of two hands, it looks like) to share some advice and observations inspired by her four-month old role a mommy. The highlights include but are not limited to:

--the importance of nipple pads
--leaking and spraying breasts (refer to above)
--the importance of a supportive partner
--how you wanna be friends with new parents you'd be friends with anyway, 'cause you can only talk about diapers and nipple pads (BOOBS!) for so long before real life comes screaming back in
--the impossibility of organizing a new-mommy mind
--tips how to organize the new mommy mind (think to-do lists and fancy phones)

Kate's blog is called Experimental Soup Making. It's pretty awesome. Go there.

But come back here sometime soon.

Ginger is due to make a bigger appearance here soon.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My take on a frugal mom's advice

Go Cloth!
By going with cloth, a family can save thousands of dollars over the un-potty trained year(sss). There's an investment upfront, and you have get into the groove of cleaning diapers regularly (before the new human poop turns into real human poop with the introduction of not-breast milk foods) but it pays off! Also, nice to the environment.

Ross's take: "Screw the environment." Or maybe it was "The environment can wait." Yeah, that was it.
My take: I have been both practical and self-indulgent about the whole diaper deal. I have been obsessed. I have emailed and texted friends (well, mostly Kate) about what kind if cloth insert diapers they are using, I have bought newish and used diapers from new mama friends and strangers on craigslist. Truly, diapering deserves it's own post (there are entire web communities dedicated to cloth diapers, or so I'm told). I'll try to keep this brief

Week 1 to 2: We used Pampers Swaddlers. I thought I'd have a tiny baby, I had heard these were tiny, virtually leak proof. I bought some. I ended up with twice the amount I thought I would because Ginger arrived at hospital and I ransacked the room's contents (I figured I'd be charged for everything in the room, so why not? And I was: board for one night = about $6,000!)

Starting week 2 and now occasionally: Nature's Babycare. They are damn near 100% biodegradable, no icky plastics on Ginger's skin, they are good stuff, really! etc. They only leak after Ginger has pooped for about an hour (really, she does this at 6 am, daily. It's noisy and cute. I'm sure it will be gross someday, but not yet.) Of course, I was informed by well-meaning moms that although they are mostly biodegradable, I am not yet paying for the service that takes them away and decomposes them for me (and I doubt I ever will). Ross prefers them over our other options: it's remove, wipe, drop in our borrowed Diaper Genie and occasionally take out the trash!

But Nature's Babycare diapers are not cheap: $11.99 for 30 to 40, depending on the size -- and that's ordering from Diapers.com which is much cheaper than buying them at a fancy, organic super market.

G-diapers suck, I think. OK, that's not fair. But they didn't work for me.

And now I'm using a mix of Bum Genius, FuzziBunz and pre-folds -- one's that friggin' snap closed. (There are way too many cloth options for me to be an expert. Check out this site for a sense of what is out there.) I need to do diaper-related laundry every three days. But considering that everything Ginger wears and much of what I wear need cleaning immediately, well, yes, I hardly notice the extra load.

And I experience a strange sense of pride every darn time I Velcro or snap Ginger into a cloth or cloth insert diaper. Yup, I do.

Do your own wipes!
Buy some shop rags or used diapers. Again, the savings adds up, and you won't notice the extra laundry.
Awesome idea.

Ross prefers paper towels, wet under the faucet. Biggest problem with this (to me) is that as the weather gets colder, the faucet runs longer. I can't handle the guilt of washing diapers AND running water 'til it's hot.

I prefer a make-my-own wipe recipe, but mostly I use cut-up towels and old washcloths. I don't run the water nearly as long as Ross does. I want Ginger, and her tush, to be tough!

Buy used baby and kid clothes
Leave the fancy new duds to family and friends. Your newbie will grow out of things faster than you can use them. So it makes sense that even already-worn stuff at kids boutiques will be very gentle used.
I have to admit that I did infact buy one pair of new brown pants. But everything else (and there is a lot, plus two large bins of stuff that is too big for Ginger) was gifted or thrifted.

Dress up your lil' one for fancy occasions -- but not for everyday life!
Babies and kids can be grungy and comfortable at home. Clothing can be worn multiple times in a week. But if you and yours are heading out to brunch or want to otherwise show off, break out the fancy party dress/pants that Auntie X FedExed.
So far, we could dress Ginger in two or three adorable onsies a day and not run out. I don't put her in the frilly dresses and such unless we're gonna be surrounded by at least a handful of ladies who can properly "oh" and "aw" about it.

Get a car seat she can grow into
Don't fall for the gimmick of needing a new car seat every time the kid grows. There are safe and legal seats that last for more than a few months. Do your research ahead of time and save money.
We scored a free infant car seat. Yes, it was used. No, I wasn't worried that a friend of a friend had given an unsafe car seat to a new-mom friend. Frankly, I think a lot of the "oh, no, you need this new! To be safe!" campaigns are put out into the new parent ethers to ensure maximum consumption of new items.

Of course, because it was a car seat for a tiny new person, and Ginger is by far not a tiny person, although relatively new, it's already time to move up to another (hand-me-down) car seat.

Be practical when it comes to your stroller
You don't need three different strollers. You need one.
We have four.

I'm not sure how this happened.

We started off with what was a fancy, light weight stroller four years ago (thanks Tracy and Goran!). My mom gave us a simple umbrella style stroller (it's what we four Loys grew up in). Nicole left her umbrella stroller here (that I should sell or donate) and now we get to absorb Nicole and Piper's buggy!

I have a feeling we'll have two strollers again soon. Umbrella for simplicity and buggy for long walks to the Farmer's Market!

OK. Then. What are your frugal new parent tips???

Monday, November 16, 2009

Some advice from a frugal mom

An old friend who's child is in his mid-to-late teens sent me some awesome advice via Facebook. Being a new mom, doing her best to appear (to herself at least) productive, I quickly thanked her for it, asked permission to post it here -- and immediately deleted it.

I not only deleted the message. I deleted the whole thread.

So did she.

Now I will do my best to duplicate it.

Go Cloth!
By going with cloth, a family can save thousands of dollars over the un-potty trained year(sss). There's an investment upfront, and you have get into the gro0ve of cleaning diapers regularly (before the new human poop turns into real human poop with the introduction of non-breast milk foods) but it pays off! Also, nice to the environment.

Do your own wipes!
Buy some shop rags or used diapers. Again, the savings adds up, and you won't notice the extra laundry.

Buy used baby and kid clothes
Leave the fancy new duds to family and friends. Your newbie will grow out of things faster than you can use them. So it makes sense that even already-worn stuff at kids boutiques will be very gentle used.

Dress up your lil' one for fancy occasions -- but not for everyday life!
Babies and kids can be grungy and comfortable at home. Clothing can be worn multiple times in a week. But if you and yours are heading out to brunch or want to otherwise show off, break out the fancy party dress/pants that Auntie X FedExed.

Get a car seat she can grow into
Don't fall for the gimmick of needing a new car seat every time the kid grows. There are safe and legal seats that last for more than a few months. Do your research ahead of time and save money.

Be practical when it comes to your stroller
You don't need three different strollers. You need one.

Thanks, Sarah!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

This just in!


And in local news, Ginger has finally has been featured by the local media. (Yes, that's her asleep on Ross's shoulder. She was wearing her Issues magazine store t-shirt!)

New to me Oakland Local ran a great piece about a panel discussion at Berkeley's Moe's bookstore.

We three humans attended. Kaya Oakes, author of Slanted and Enchanted: The Evolution of Indie Culture was leading a discussion about "indie." The three-woman panel was stacked with friends/colleagues. I'll steal directly from the article here:

Noella Teele, Issues: “When you’re doing something indie-minded of indie spirit, it’s something you feel really true about. It’s what you feel sincere about and something that you do well. I often think of the punk ethos, that if you’re going to do something, do it right. Do it all the way.”

Liz Lisle, Watchword Press: “It’s when you’re not looking for recognition from an external source. You’re just doing it because you love it. You’re working with your friend and that’s the motivation that keeps it going.”

Nicole Neditch, Objet d’Art: “It’s doing something from the heart and taking it all the way. The recognition comes from the people that you’re working with. You’re not going with the traditional box stores. You’re shopping from people who are also doing it from the heart, and making a decision to work with those kinds of people.”

Kaya Oakes, Slanted and Enchanted: The Evolution of Indie Culture (excerpt): “If we understand culture to mean something more than a style of music, a visual aesthetic, or a literary mode and try to define it from its Latin root, cultura—‘to cultivate’— then we can see how indie artists have traditionally worked together to cultivate many things: credibility, freedom, the ability to promote their own work and to control how it’s promoted, self-reliance, open-mindedness, and the freedom to take creative risks.”

In case you were wondering, yes my body is ready for another one


Back in week six or so after Ginger's birth, I noticed that something more than spotting was darkening my, um, door. (After a vaginal birth women "bleed" heavily and then spot for weeks if not months. There's a whole range of amounts and colors and in what order, etc. You can learn more here.)

Yeah, this was less like spotting and more like, wait, what were they called, um, something about a towel? Oh, no, I remember now. It was my period. I was on the freakin' rag!

See, but, as a breast feeding mama, I should not have had a period for months, if not a year or so. But there it was, a nice, healthy flow. Not too different that the predictable periods I have had since my late teens (early teenage periods were not so predictable. Nor were they nice.) And yes, I did remember what to expect, even though it had been nearly a year since my last one (We conceived after a period in November, peed on a stick in December. That was 2008!) and it came and went with me hoping that I would be one of those breast feeding mamas who get one soon after a birth but then don't see more evidence of a reinstated menstrual cycle for many a moon.

Not so for me.

Just said goodbye to Auntie. She stuck around for her usual length of stay. Had no cramping, no mood swings, nothing out of the ordinary. Didn't even have to buy a new box tampons this time.

The downside: REALLY have to lock down birth control that is baby safe and baby proof. Also, I'll be buying tampons, or maybe those weird cloth pads that my hippie friends use, I mean they can't be any harder to deal with than breast pads and cloth diapers!

The upside: Thanks to the whole getting pregnant/having a child/breast feeding thing, I have boobs all month long! Not just for a few days a month, like B.G (Before Ginger.)

In other news: Ginger melted down in the car today after a wonderful hike with Spider, Ross and myself on which we busted out the awesome Ergo Baby Carrier that my equally awesome sister gave us. So that part was great!

But, being in a small, enclosed space (like my car) with a nearly three month old who is totally not going to be calmed by anything (no me, not my finger, not the pacifier, not a bumpy road, not car lights, not freeway driving) was not at all is not easy.

Ross did a great job driving us home. I did a great job of not jumping out of a moving vehicle.

Good thing she's such a cutie!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Vaccines: and then again maybe we will

Well, we did it. We three humans went to the doctor for Ginger's first ever vaccinations.

First, you should know that there are a few family practice doctors left in the country. And one of them is Doctor Jane Himmelvo. She's a mom. She's right here in Point Richmond (OK, so we don't actually live in Point Richmond. We live in the blue collar, affordable, much more diverse and occasionally filled with Mexican accordion music option called Atchison Village. Home of a few of the original Rosie the Riverters for whom the housing here was built.)

The Point Richmond Family Practice has regular office hours, the good Doctor has been Ross's doc since we decided to admit he has inherited dangerously high blood pressure and cholesterol issues. His liver, shockingly, is not too bad. We'll work on that next.

She became Ginger's pediatrician two days after her birth. No, we absolutely didn't need to go to a doctor's office that soon after her birth, but because she was delivered in the hospital and we wanted to get back to our home birth and laying in plan, we made a deal with the hospital Ped. to take her in.

We got to leave seven hours after we said we were ready IF we promised to take Ginger in to her Ped within a few days.

Why the deal? Well: Hospitals want a new mom and baby to stay for at least 24 hours. This allows them to monitor a number of things, including baby's temp, mom's everything, breast feeding and baby's diapers, etc. The "scariest" thing they monitor is the heart murmur that pretty much all babies are born with.

About the murmur: While living in the comfort of mom's placenta, blood is not pumped to the lungs to get oxygenated — things obviously have to adjust in that part of a newborn's body, 'cause she's BREATHING. A duct can remain open and usually closes by the end of 24 to 48 hours. Hospitals can pull this one out to make you stay. The longer you stay, the more they can be sure to catch anything early on, and the less likely they are gonna get sued if they release a baby or mom "early" and complications develop.

Of course, our midwives were providing us with the excellent care that we had come to expect from them, so Ginger received pretty much the same first well baby exam three times in as many days.

Surprise, she was determined to be 100 percent healthy. Three times.

Back to the now:
Dr. Jane (Himmelvo) knows who we are. Calls Ginger by name. And checks in on Ross when we see her. Today was no exception.

We had a 5:30 appointment (childhood vaccines are scheduled late in the day so kids can just go home and maybe get super tired, cranky or feverish.)

Ginger was asleep when we arrived. Once we had her mostly stripped down (to weigh in at 12.5 lbs) she woke up and got all smiley when we had her on the table. I made sure to place her on her blanket and not the loud, crunchy paper that she'd otherwise soon associate with pain/needles. (I've heard stories from parents of 1 year olds who report that baby starts to cry as soon as the paper is rustled.)

Ginger let us weigh her (after they realized the scale was out of batteries and 10 minutes later found the a.c. adapter), measure her skull and her length (22.75 inches baby. She was 21.4 at birth.)

And she took the oral vaccine (Rotovirus) slowly and pensively. She and I talked some baby talk while she tasted it and gummed the applicator, pushed the vaccine out of her mouth and down her chin while I chased it with my finger and pushed it back in her mouth.

The (DtaP: Diphtheria immunization, Tetanus immunization, Pertussis immunization, Tdap vaccine)
shot, well, she screamed a bit, with her face VERY QUICKLY turning bright red with an infant's confusion and anger. And by the time I had picked her back up off the table (as the nurse was trying to wipe off the two drops of blood and affix the bandage) she was quieting down. She didn't need the boob. She did need to be held. But she was cheerful and once again checking out the lights and other new visual pleasures that only a baby can find in a doctor's exam room.

In short, Ginger is a trooper.

Also in short: yes, (obviously) we decided to get her vaccinated. We are doing the trendy, spaced out, alternative plan. For now, we're going with Dr. Sear's Alternative Vaccination Schedule. You can read more about the schedule here, on a mom's website. She's done some research, reports it and lists the schedule.

Vaccinations = lots of conflicting research.

FYI: I don't believe that vaccines cause autism, but I do marvel at the fact that mercury is present in many of them. Yes, mercury. Which is bad, 'cause, um, it causes neurotoxicity in humans.

Small amounts are present as a preservative, I heard on NPR. Also on NPR, the H1N1 contains less mercury than in a can of tuna. Yeah, but, Ginger is not gonna eat a can of tuna anytime soon. She's also too young for that particular vaccine.

Also, spreading out the vaccines seems like a damn good idea. I know I want her to benefit from the advances in medicine. But I also know that Big Pharm plays a big part in determining just how many vaccines are available and how many we "need."

In short: vaccinations = whole other posts.

Photos are of wonderful friends. Love you long time Debbie-Deborah! Also, Art is one handsome experienced daddy type!