when will the boobs get bigger?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. The titties I suddenly have are great. They're like a loan from a friend whose bra I could stuff with socks from my soccer playing days. And no noticeable stretch marks — still got those leetle ones from back when I went on the pill and went to college and stopped all my team exercise and drank beer and cheap booze ALOT and ate in the dorms Mon - Fri and pretty much only peanut butter on the weekends — so, for sure, no complaining.

But they haven't done any growing now for a week or so. Yes, when I got out of bed this am, Ross immediately pointed his half asleep face at me and opened his eyes just enough to track me as I/we bounced off the bed and into clothes (and ladies, it's cold in our room these mornings, talk about having the girls at attention!). Once the top went on over the cami, closed went his eyes. (At right: Firefly and Mad Men's Christina Hendricks)

"Were you watching my boobs?"
"Ummm, uh-huh." With a hit of a smile on his already almost sleeping face.
"Good!"

So, yes, still got it.

But this am I woke up to Nerve's "The Ten Hottest Women Size 10 and Up" and now I want some of that.

I think first things first, though. I still need to get me a real bra. One that pushes and pulls and shapes and makes my girls pop out of clothes.

Also, I need new clothes.

Come on Obama with that stimulus package.

(Above: Keely Shayne Smith, an actress and a Pierce's wife of eight years)