Birthing class: from bdsm to oming my way out of hell

Off-beat things I've learned in my awesome birthing class:

--A good midwife or doula won't tell you about the worse-case scenario, no matter how you ask for it.

--Sitting in a room with 7 other very pregnant couples and watching the unassisted birth of twins is better when you've seen the video before, cause you can watch the vid AND watch the parents-to-be. This is especially entertaining when the second baby's foot is sticking out of the mom and the the mom says:
"What is that? Oh, that's a foot."
And dad (holding the camera) says, "Ohmigod, what can I do?"
Mom, getting ready to deliver second twin says, "Just keep filming."

And all around the living room, pregnant couples are grimacing with teary eyes and open mouths.

--I talk too much, but not nearly as much as other people.

--Ross is going to be an amazingly calm birth partner, no matter how much panic or exhaustion he feels. I can't imagine doing this without him there to hold me and pet me and massage me and support me and love me.

--The results of a healthy BDSM session might teach expectant mothers a thing or two about release and how to better embrace loss of control, but the juices such sessions produce in the loser of control might not be good for baby (might, we don't know)

--I now fear the goddess position more than a 70-hour labor. (Sit on your knees, bend your feet under you, sit on toes, rest rump on heels. Hold for the length of a contraction. Suffer and nearly die). In a recent birthing class, we all, soon-to-be moms and dads, climbed and grunted down off sofas and up out of bean bags so we could all experience an "uncomfortable" position, sans the assistance of breathing or making noise.

This friggin sucked for me. I blame it on my 30 years of soccer, running, hiking, etc. and my very tight leg muscles. I couldn't even get my ass all the way down. And WOW did it hurt my feet. I panted and sweat and watched the iphone on the ground and helped count the seconds. It was VERY hard to keep quiet during the pose.

Round two: we were allowed and encouraged to "breath" deep tummy/yoga breaths, and exhale into OMS -- cause it's best to avoid the high-pitched screaming we might want to indulge in during, say, labor. High-pitched wailing/etc. tightens muscles, adds to the "oh my god it's time for flight/fight) and generally makes pain LESS-bearable.

Now, deep "oms," animal/mommy groaning and moaning, well, that opens us up from pelvis to throat, and can significantly reduce the, um, "discomfort" of labor pains. Or the shooting horror of the goddess position.

I OMed and did some better breathing. And would much prefer to go into labor that sit on my poor, unbendable feet ever again.

(Hell is that damned yoga pose. And the pic of of the pirate hooker waitress at a family (!!!) Mexican restaurant in Suison, up near Tracy and Goran's house.